Bear with me here. I have been obsessed with this one tiny scene in Son of Neptune since I first read it: Percy’s first real dream since waking up and reaching Camp Jupiter.
Alright so Percy’s been hidden from the mortal (and immortal??) world for like 5-6 months. He finally reaches Camp Jupiter and Hera/Juno dramatically intones, “for months he has been slumbering, but now he is awake.” Hera/Juno never explicitly states this, but Percy hasn’t just been sleeping. He’s been sleeping. No one’s been able to reach him physically or via dreams. So when Percy finally collapses in a real bed and dreams for the first time in nearly half a year, he dreams of Annabeth.
And Annabeth can see him. She sees him. For the first time IN HALF A YEAR. But Percy is on this train and the her image is blurry with speed, but she runs to keep up with him and reaches out her hand to him in desperation because nothing is going to stop her now that he’s right in front of her. He’s so close.
But the only thing Percy can say is, “are you real?” Because ever since he woke up with Lupa standing over him, Annabeth has been this ever constant source of hope that Things Will Get Better. And now that she’s there, in front of him, not just some memory he has lodged safely in the back of his mind, he’s left breathless. He wants to stare at her face and try to memorialize every single detail but she’s already fading and her face is dissolving and by the time she fades from view, Percy realizes he never reached his hand out to meet hers. And perhaps that hurts him most of all.
AND ANNABETH. Annabeth who hasn’t slept, whose only thoughts have centered around how to find Percy and bring him back to her. Annabeth who hasn’t heard Percy’s voice in 6 months. The first thing she hears him say, the only thing he has the chance to say, is to ask her if she’s real.
Annabeth probably wakes up from that dream and the tears have already soaked through her pillow and she’s grasping her comforter in her hands and pulls it up to her mouth so none of her siblings can hear her scream in frustration and pain and loss.
By the time her tears subside, Annabeth is left lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, and wishing she could share with Percy a fraction of the pain lodged in her chest. Because if he could feel that, he’d know. He’d know she’s real.
Because pain like this can’t be imagined.
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