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My beloved options

thinking about when my brother got chatbanned from overwatch and the email they sent him after he tried to appeal it said “we dont normally bring up the incriminating messages, but in this case we feel its necessary to show you what got you banned” and it was all shit like “ i will kidnap you in the desert and make you forget how to eat”

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

every time i try to check whats inside eggs stupid goop comes out

Ice beam is low-key a sauceless "standard" move for its type

yes but it goes foowaaaa ting ting ting ting ting ting and i really like that part

Fuck you're right post cancelled

BRING HIM BACK

oh thank goodness

BRING HIM BACK

"Tattoos are becoming unpopular", "piercings are unpopular again", "keep your hair natural never dye it again, it's the trend now" literally fuck off I know what y'all are doing

Everytime this gets a note when its nowhere near christmas I question my sanity just a little bit more

No, it is July, stop that, stop giving this notes, you guys have lost reblogging privileges

Jurassic park

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

i was speaking with a guy i work with and when leaving i said okay see you monday and he went oh no i wont be in monday. im going bald. and i said ?you're what? and he just repeated im going bald monday. wont be in

update: he didn’t show up on Monday and on Tuesday he was bald

He couldn't have been clearer.

i support women's wrongs

whenever you see C#m on a chord sheet you know the musician was just playing bar chords and couldn’t resist the temptation of the most annoying chord in the god damn book

so i just noticed that c sharp minor is a bit shocking to read when spelled out in shorthand

whenever you see cum on a chord sheet you know the musician was just jackin it