The IC Company

. but what? M

The relationship was real, it was real for you, so of course you’re sad. You had no idea nor would anyone of her intentions. Who knows if she even knew what she was intending. You can't let yourself get caught up in letting yourself go to love. Anyone only gets better at relationships, reading people, being aware of red flags, by being in relationships. She was meant to happen so you could do exactly what you did, learn. She is not a sincere person but it doesn't make it not real or genuine on your part. You sadness comes from a loving and genuine place, don't let her take that away. In other words always be open to love, for sure you will be more careful next time, but don't let her sour you to what is possible. She is not mature and you are wanting different things in relationships. She does not deserve someone with your intentions. You’re sad because of the possibilities that are lost, you’re sad because it was a new exciting experience, you’re sad because she hurt you. But know this, she wasn't the one, if she was she wouldn't have done what she did to you. D

good catch

“I think I’m still finding my way in this world.” And I agree. m P.S. lmao you drunk call now? hahaha 

You told me you were going to a show with the person you started dating. So soon! shocked me. but didn’t get the heart drop/heart sinking feeling. wondered why. thought it was shock and numbness and not being able to process it, but after processing, i realized that my image of you as an innocent girl was slowly eroding and i was slowly beginning to realize the kind of person you were and the fact that you had found someone already was the last nail in the coffin that made me realize that you WERE that kind of girl. and that your words were really sweet nothings, and that i was just a rebound and your emotional and physical booty call. I was slowly losing my respect for you, despite the fact that I was trying so hard not to because I wanted--needed to believe that you weren’t the way you actually were because of the pedestal I had put you on. So when I found out about him, It happened. I lost respect for you. Not all of it, but enough to help me move on. I was wondering why when you told me that you were dating someone that I could totally see us being friends/good friends for the rest of our lives. I thought about it later and thought it was because you being in a relationship meant it could never happen and I can finally give up. I also thought it was because I wanted to hang on incase things went south with him as quickly as it did with me (knowing your sensitive and turbulent personality) and i could swoop in--but no, it was because I lost enough respect for you where I no longer really wanted to be in a relationship with you, which is what would let me be your friend. You have a lot to work on. I was also wondering why I still wanted to be friends. I thought it might’ve been because you needed a friend like me to lean and count on, and that once I’ve established myself as a real friend, I’d ditch you so you could feel my pain or something. Cruel, I know. I also thought it might’ve been because I was still hoping due to lingering attachments, and maybe I am? But very very little--I could never go out with you the way you are now. I think the real reason I want to stay friends and keep in contact with you is because I want to see you grow and mature--to the point you can realize how horribly you treated me and how quick you were to end it without giving us a chance and ultimately--to receive an apology from you. After that, we could go our separate ways, stay friends, or very very very unlikely, maybe even get back together. As you can see, dear readers, I still do have lingering attachments, but they’re just not as strong as they were. She’s finally off my pedestal. I can finally visualize and feel the rose-tinted lenses on my eyes and begin to peel them off. I can finally start to move on.

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You’re still the default in my mind. Sucks to suck ig

rears its head in many ways. Wish someone surprised me haha bitter a lil ig

What’s the worst trait for a sponge to have? Self-absorbed.

I mean, if people hide it super well yeah you can’t do anything about that, but I’m saying to a reasonable degree. If others see it and you don’t and you ignorantly hit em up, that’s on you and says a lot about you. m

Being able to be there for people you care about is a privilege. It’s self-absorbed to feel upset about not being able to help people you care about once the relationship is sent to shit. Because that’s your grave. You dug it. You gotta lie in it. What if you hear sad news about them? No longer your business to stick your nose into, no matter how much you feel like you care about them. What’s the point of someone they don’t like caring about them? You’ll just stress them out more. ..right? m

then you see and talk to her again, and it’s just so pleasant that you rip the scab right off. then you suffer for it. let the what ifs begin. fuck. m

at the birthday party. You looked great. Miss you.