trying my best

I know that life isn't supposed to be just happy and nice and easy but I don't know how to handle it being a rollercoaster that goes from the best and happiest to the worst fucking feeling one could have. I am so sick of being unable to function like everyone expects me to. I am so sick of being unable to take care of myself and being alone. I am so sick of feeling so strongly all the fucking time. Everything hurts, everything is scary, everything is temporary. I can't breathe. I do everything right I take my meds I go to therapy I try everyday and that sick, disgusting, horrifying feeling always comes back with a vengeance. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know how to exist without help. I am exhausted of being this person. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to feel things in a normal way. I just want to be okay. I just want to be normal. I just want to stop this horrible feeling in my chest.