One day i'll be happy.

“My parents don’t worry when I close my bedroom door anymore, and they go to sleep before me now. This is the trust we don’t talk about, what we have now that I stopped trying to open my veins like windows on a summer day. I don’t fold food into napkins or go up my stairs every night anymore. When people ask me what recovery is I tell them it is driving myself to work, it is eating ice cream with friends and not just ordering black tea It is seeing the old road you used to take and going the other way.”

“I keep checking my phone like someone actually cares about me.”

“Maybe if I fall in love with my sadness it’ll leave me too.”

“In the mood to delete everything, go missing for a month, get my life together, and come back.”

“I break my own heart by expecting people to be as attached to me as I am to them.”

“I explained my hurt and still got hurt, so I chose silence.”

“So it’s one of those nights, huh.”