The Choas System

Me irl.

Hey! It sounds like you’re going through a pretty big thing right now. However you’re feeling is okay, whether it be terrified, relieved, angry, or a mix of all of those. This time can be scary, but I promise you it gets better.

This is a huge thing, and I am so proud of you for being here. You’ve been through a lot in your life, and it might seem like you’ve been left to pick up the pieces all by yourself. I’m here to tell you that no matter what distance is between us, the DID/OSDD community is here with you. You are not alone.

I have a few things that I wish someone told me, when I was in your place.

1.) You are not crazy. You are not unlovable. You are a human being (encompassing you and all of your parts). You have every right to be here, and to exist how you are.

2.) You do not need to figure everything out right away, or ever. There are things that just won’t have answers, even when you want so badly to have them. You’ll think you know everyone in your system, and you might not. You might spend a lot of time wondering “why” something happened. You will not figure that out until you are ready. Learn how to accept the unknown- it won’t be easy. I’m still working on it too.

3.) Don’t push yourself, things will come when it is time for them. If there are things you don’t fully remember, don’t try to force it. You can cause lasting damage if you do. These things will surface as you continue to heal.

4.) You are not doomed. Happiness is possible. You can still accomplish the things you want to, even if you need to take some time to heal first. It isn’t going to be easy, but it is possible. You will get to a place where you are fulfilled and happy, however that looks.

5.) You will likely struggle with doubt. Your brain will try to convince you you’re making this up. Record your experiences, so you don’t forget about them when these moments arise. Collect resources, talk to other systems, and work on communication within your own.