Nobody wants to play crayons in bed naked with me 😠
Um, beds are for sleeping, not for playing with crayons

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@the-bedtime-wizard
Nobody wants to play crayons in bed naked with me 😠
Um, beds are for sleeping, not for playing with crayons

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Reminder that if you take a sleep potion of any sort you can’t operate heavy machinery or cast any hazardous spells afterwards. Otherwise @feyosha will get on my ass about it and then no one gets to sleep.
This includes cakes and drinks.
Pros of wearing a cloak all the time:
Looks cool
Nobody can steal your phone from your back pocket
Billows epically when you walk into the subway and there's a train there
Billows epically when there's wind
You look like a wizard
You feel like a wizard
I once had a pair of little kids come up to me and ask if I was a wizard
Doubles as a blanket if you get eepy
Put up the hood to look mysterious
Hood fits over headphones
Hood fits over big hoop earrings (I don't have these but it's still a bonus)
Perfect if your sleeves are too puffy to fit into your coat
Great for people who have sensory issues with sleeves
Great conversation starter
Great weekend project (if you sew it yourself, which is probably cheaper)
Really warm in the winter (if you use wool fabric)
Keeps the sun off in the summer (if you use a lighter fabric)
SO MUCH FREE SPACE FOR EMBROIDERY
There is a good chance it will boost your self-confidence
Pretty sure it'll do the same with your self-esteem
(Nothing in this life is certain, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something)
(I think that's how the quote went)
Fuzzy
Cons of wearing a cloak all the time:
none
I have been informed that Edna would be upset
How to be able to wear a cloak all the time:
As a wizard I approve of this message and would like to emphasize this point:
Doubles as a blanket if you get eepy
Cloak blankets are excellent for impromptu naps
And if you do it right you already have the moon and stars on there
Every wizard I've seen on this amazing hellsite has at one point reposted this and I think that's amazing XD
We all have a meeting once a month to make sure all the new and old wizards have reblogged it at least once in their time as wizards. It’s a requirement set by the wizard council and enforced by @wizard-council-bureaucrat
If you’re struggling to sleep… have you considered that you shouldn’t be seeing this post because my magic doesn’t work on people who actively looking at their phones?
Bedtime wizard, what is your favorite herbal tea to drink before bed?
Excellent question! My absolute favorite is the celestial seasonings sleepytime mint! But I also like the sleepytime lavender quite a bit.
For potions I prefer to use regular celestial seasonings sleepytime tea because I can aquire it in bulk.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Brave Adventurer I must now send you on your most difficult quest yet, I task thee- Go To Bed.
To anyone wondering what to set out as an offering to me I accept the following forms of payment:
Cash
Warm milk
Apple Pay
Melatonin gummies
I also accept sushi or they might be giants CDs that I don’t have already
Pros of wearing a cloak all the time:
Looks cool
Nobody can steal your phone from your back pocket
Billows epically when you walk into the subway and there's a train there
Billows epically when there's wind
You look like a wizard
You feel like a wizard
I once had a pair of little kids come up to me and ask if I was a wizard
Doubles as a blanket if you get eepy
Put up the hood to look mysterious
Hood fits over headphones
Hood fits over big hoop earrings (I don't have these but it's still a bonus)
Perfect if your sleeves are too puffy to fit into your coat
Great for people who have sensory issues with sleeves
Great conversation starter
Great weekend project (if you sew it yourself, which is probably cheaper)
Really warm in the winter (if you use wool fabric)
Keeps the sun off in the summer (if you use a lighter fabric)
SO MUCH FREE SPACE FOR EMBROIDERY
There is a good chance it will boost your self-confidence
Pretty sure it'll do the same with your self-esteem
(Nothing in this life is certain, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something)
(I think that's how the quote went)
Fuzzy
Cons of wearing a cloak all the time:
none
I have been informed that Edna would be upset
How to be able to wear a cloak all the time:
As a wizard I approve of this message and would like to emphasize this point:
Doubles as a blanket if you get eepy
Cloak blankets are excellent for impromptu naps
And if you do it right you already have the moon and stars on there
To anyone wondering what to set out as an offering to me I accept the following forms of payment:
Cash
Warm milk
Apple Pay
Melatonin gummies
Nobody really knows what makes a person go to bed
Why it’s The Bedtime Wizard of course! That’s his only job!
Ok well, he’s been going through some stuff recently so if you could be kind and go to bed yourself that would really help him out. Like just- snuggle yourself in, put your phone away, and remember the feeling of being safe and held until you drift off.
Ok?
Hey man, my boyfriend broke up with me and then I got two black eyes. I’m trying my best out here, at least I haven’t resorted to causing eternal sleep like cratty recommended.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Sleep announcement:
I am not liable for your scrolling
There are unfortunately no spells or potions that cut through the power of the following applications:
Tumblr
YouTube
Tiktok
Snapchat
Threads
Bluesky
Are you guys mistreating the Bedtime Wizard? I'm starting to have serious concerns about his wellbeing. If I find out you're mistreating him I'm calling WR (Wizard's Resources).
No no, it's not me. It's all the people who are fighting off sleep! The Bedtime Wizard was just trying to tuck someone in the other night and got two black eyes for it! Poor BedWiz, poor poor BedWiz
I would like to request that people stop fighting me when I tuck them in. They request my presence and then I get injured for my efforts.