n o i c e

I repressed that shit bc they made me believe I was ‘mature for my age’ and then dragged my ass through major character development.

I shouldn’t have been calling 911 bc they tried killing themselves bc we couldn’t be together then searching the hospitals in my area to find out where they were, at fucking 15.

I shouldn’t have been paying gas money and threatened with them self harming bc I was out with family at fucking 15

I shouldn’t have been sacrificing my mental health for an adult that had shit to unpack and would go into physical rages at fucking 15.

I shouldn’t have been scared to attend the college I wanted to go to bc I was painted a ‘abuser’ by a fucking adult at 16

I shouldn’t have been paying the bills with my carhop money and turned down scholarships bc I was ready for a family setting when I was 17/18.

I shouldn’t have been in adult ass situations with people who had no business fucking with me at that age.

For years I labeled them as ‘past lovers’ or ‘the ones I loved’

Y’all dead ass lured me into some shit then told me I was ‘too young’ bc YALL KNEW that shit was off.

I shouldn’t have been so trusting or ‘into cougars’ when I was a teenager and I should have left when shit went bad. But I’m stubborn. I love too hard.