○the poet○

Happiness hides

In everyone's hearts

But I wish it would stop hiding

Rhythm in my hands is nothing

Compared to the rhythm of the thoughts in my head

Thousands of thoughts that won't leave me alone

Thoughts that will never

My sister stares into the screen

And I wonder what she sees

That I don't see?

Why don't I get any fulfillment

Out of this.

What is it

Note in a blue book

And it said what my notes used to say.

In very poor handwriting

That I knew was hers

Have to keep a smile

Everyone thinks I'm happy

And I'm

Wondering why

You're not different from me.

When our parents like you better.

I'm

Wondering why

I can't save you

When my life is like this

..

Just go back to playing and

I'll go back to playing and

Neither of us

Back and fourth

But I'm not home yet

Here and there

And I'm still gone

When will I have

What I want from this world

When will my heart stop

Today I was told

That my body is not mine.

I was told

That I am a debt

A debt that must be paid

A debt that will take my lifetime to pay

A debt that will pass to my children, whom I should have

Whom I should not abort

Regardless of my ability to care for them.

I was told

That my body is not mine

These choices are not mine

These thoughts are not mine.

For I must keep them clean and pure

Throughout my life.

I must honor thy parents

Regardless of how they honor me.

I must abide by the cage that is a husband

Regardless of my own happiness

For it is a duty

I must carry

A duty

That is mine.

Today I was told

That I am a debt

A debt to a God

Who does naught but add to me.

A blessing to a God

Who has never blessed me.

I was told

My sins

Are not his

And yet my thoughts belong to him.

I was told

I am created

In the holy image

The image of God.

I am not.

I am not.

I am brown

I am bisexual

I am a woman

According to the Bible,

I am naught but a rib

Pulled out of a man's side

To serve him

To bear his will

To bear his children.

I am not.

I am not.

I am not.

For what do I have but what I've worked for?What body do I have but the one that is mine?What choices do I make but the ones that I wish?

Not in his image

Not in his will

Not in his kingdom

Not in his fantasy

Not.

I am not.