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ยซanne boleynยป
โ for @cathymerteuil

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"If she gets her way, she will set our whole country in a R O A R "
ย โ She had gotten it all wrong. Or rather, she had assumed wrong. To have another child would mean the world to Vlad. He had always wanted many children, but due to Mirenaโs pregnancy with Ingeras being incredibly difficult and almost dying due to the birth, it had proven impossible for her to get pregnant again and so they had given up and put all their love and focus on Ingeras. But that never stopped Vlad from having that want for more children.ย
โAnneโฆโ Vlad stood from the bed and walked over to her, kneeling in front of where she sat by the fire. His hands grabbed hers and held them with a gentleness that matched his eyes as he gazed upon her.ย โI would never lie to you. I would rather God strike me down where I kneel now before I ever do something of the sort. My vows to you are true and will remain true. I care for you more than you realize, and I do not consider our union as you replacing Mirena in any way. Our marriage is a new chapter in both our lives, and one I am elated to share with youโฆ
But, I must have you know that I truly do want children. I would love nothing more than to have many with you. I just donโt believe I can give you childrenโฆbecause of what I am. And I want to tell you exactly what I am, but I am frightened you will look upon me differently once I tell you, and not in a good sense.โย
Anneโs eyes watered with tears. Her husband came over and grasped her hands gently, looking up at her from his kneeling position. He only cared for her. Her thoughts spinning over things that just werenโt true.
He told her he wanted children and then proceeded to tell her that he would not be able to give her any. It broke Anneโs heart. She had wanted to be a mother, always.
โWhat is it?โ She asked wiping her face gently she watched him. โWhat is so afflicting that you may not be able to have children and?โ She shook her head, โWhat are you then, Vladโฆ please tell me.โ She pleaded, sad.
โ โ Vladโs heart broke to see his new bride so upset. He never wanted to hurt her, only give her the love she deserved. But now with him being truthful, he wasnโt sure if she would allow him to anymore.ย
The prince sighed softly and stood, turning his attention to the fire that became weaker and dimming. He almost felt like he, too, was becoming weaker. More vulnerable in front of another. Something he wasnโt used to in the years after Mirenaโs passing. It was too late, though. He couldnโt go back from his decision to tell her everything.ย
โWhen war was upon us with Mehmed, I didnโt have nearly enough of an army as I do now. I was afraid of not only losing my home and my family, but my land and people as well. They were everything to me. Essentially, they were my life, and I would have done anything to keep them all safe.โ Vladโs shoulders became rigid as he began his story.
โIt was then that I knew I needed help. My men would not be able to defeat Mehmedโs army that was in the hundred thousands. We would have been crushed in minutes. What I needed was something more, and so I sought out help in the mountains. I came upon a being, someone much older than I, that lived in a cave on his own. Bones lie everywhere you walked, the smell of decay surrounding us in a palpable scent that was almost sickening. It was hard to be there, to stare into Deathโs red eyes and plea for help. And so he did.โ
Turning now, his eyes were diverted to the rug beneath his feet.ย โHe told me that I would have his powers. The strength of 100 men, the speed of lightning, sight and smell heightened beyond anything I could ever imagine. The only thing I needed was to avoid feeding for three days. When I asked what he meant, he explained that I would have a thirst for blood that would burn in my throat, but I had to resist it for three days in order to change back to my normal selfโฆ
And so I complied. He gave me his blood, and I drank. And thenโฆI died. I woke up by the river then, and I could tell what I had done had worked.ย
I was a vampire.โย
Anne listened intently as her husband spun his tale of darkness, her dark eyes glistening with tears in the light of the fire. Her skin has paled considerably as she listened with fear to his story, clutching the arms of her chair; knuckles white, palms clammy.
In all honesty to herself she had known something was off about the man. He was told to be her elder by a good amount of years, but he appeared as young as she. He always drank and ate so little. Slept little too. Anne has to admit she found it odd that he should not require more rest as a long and ruler of his people; plagued with things like disagreements and wages.
She had wanted to write it off as an excuse for not wanting children. Anne wanted to laugh the most bitter laugh she could manage, but she knew- he was telling the truth. With a thick swallow, she raised her eyes to his, commanding attention as she stood- equal to her husband. โAnd you thought not to tell me before the wedding in fear I would not marry you...โ she deduced, her head still reeling.
Gentle hands reach out, turning him to her, little but strong fingers grasping his shirt, her other hand coming to cup his cheek. โYou need not fear rejection or anger here.โ She strokes the pale skin softly, โYou are my husband and I am bound to you for life. No matter how little mine will be in comparison to yours...โ the thought nearly broke her. He would live on after she passed on. Taking on a new bride, repeating the process all over again. โI do not fear you Vlad Dracula. I love you and I wish to do that for the time we have together.โ She kissed him softly before wrapping her arms around his neck, deepening it to show her acceptance of this newly exposed part of her spouse.
thcmosthappyโ:
โI want only you!โ God how his words struck a chord in her heart. She has waited for the day that a man would say that to her, causing her heart to bubble up in her chest and set her free from the pressures of her family.
โI will meet you by the boat at midnight, thenโฆโ she held his hand firmly. There was nothing that could keep her from going with him. โIโll bring as much as I can fit into my larger trunk. I can sell some jewels and we can get some money to at least start a life.โ
She wanted to kiss him desperately, but knew she must save it for later. โI love thee, sweet love of mine.โ She whispered softly before making her exit with a brisk walk up to her chambers, already beginning to pack.
Anne redressed in a gown of blue fabric, simple but nice enough to denote she was a lady. She wore a dark cloak and had her long dark curls tucked into its hood. It was raining slightly as she waited, praying that he would make an appearance. They only had a matter of minutes left to board.
โOh Thomasโฆ where are you?โ
There were a few moments when he thought that he wouldnโt make it. But he urged the horse on, finally reaching the docks with minutes to spare. He found her waiting there, and he felt his heart give a funny thump. One of relief and worry at having her stand there alone. Neither of them had time for a proper greeting as they needed to catch the ship. The captain commented on how they barely made it and that someone โup thereโ must have wanted them to leave England.
Thomas could only smile and then lead Anne to the small cabin they would use for the duration of their voyage. He tried not to think about the uproar that was happening back at court once her family discovered her absence. They were well away, and by the time they reached France, they would be safe and could disappear into the countryside forever.
Once the cabin door had been closed and locked, he drew Anne into his arms and kissed her passionately, murmuring her name against her lips as he pulled away. His finger slid through the silky dark locks, and his gaze was on hers: caught in those sensual eyes that had hooked him from the very beginning.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โForgive me for making you wait, my love. It shall be the ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย first and last.โ
Anne could not even begin to describe the overflowing joy and relief that she felt when she saw him run up to the docks. She remembered grabbing his hand as the rain pelted them unforgivingly and the captain led them aboard to their home for the next couple of days as they made their way to France.
It was still late. Her father would most likely not notice her absence from court until mid-morning the next day. Long after they would be far enough away to escape the clutches of her family and of Henry Tudor. As he led her to their small little cabin of a space she blushed, thinking about what was to come with him. A whole life. Not just an emotional and mental love but a physical one as well. Her heart was reeling.
She felt her body flinch as he locked the door, the thought of being away from prying eyes setting her skin afire. And like that- his lips were on hers, with fervor and with love. With passion and want. She thought the Lord had called her home already, because surely this was what heaven was like. Her dark eyes fluttered as she looked up at him, so drawn into his being. This was the man that was hers; oh how she was so lucky.
โI was just worried youโd changed your mind.โ She said as her hand came to his cheek, caressing the damp skin gently. โI just, while I was waiting. I took the liberty of asking the captain to wed us here. Tonight.โ She blushed, obviously very forward. โItโs just- I donโt need a flashy ceremony. And Iโd rather be your wife here and now in this dirty little ship cabin than anywhere else.โ
She grasped his hand tightly in hers, eyes pleading, โI know itโs pouring. But the ordeal should only take a few minutes. And then we can return here to our quarters... andโ she swallowed thickly her cheeks blushing a deeper crimson as the thought of consummating their marriage overtook her thoughts.
โIf youโll have me?โ
thcmosthappyโ:
Anne waited patiently with baited breath for his answer, her nerves boiling up inside of her, setting her skin afire with blush. Anne watched him, dark eyes scanning his face for hints of feelings. โMy future is my own, sweet sir. Is it not handed to women just as much as it is handed by God to men?โ She needed him to know that this was her choice, he was her choice.
โI need no castle, no diamonds, no fortune. I am fortunate enough to give and receive Godโs greatest gift which is love. What is a home if not a place? It is a person, my lord. As for your name, I would be proud to bear your name.โ She took his hand deliberately in her own holding it tight. โI would be proud to be your wife, the mother of your children, anything you ask me to be. I would be proud.โ She kissed his hands gently.
โWe donโt need material things. We will have one another, our poetry, our books, our goals and aspirations. We will have each-other. Does that not fulfill you?
Her question wasnโt meant to sound pointed, but she wanted him to know that she would be by his side. Through everything. Tired from work, old from age, weary from childbirth; through it all she would remain faithfully his wife.
โThomas,โ she spoke softly, looking into his eyes, โIf you will have meโฆโ she bowed slightly before him, nervous, shaking, overcome with emotion.
She wanted to be his wife. Thomas couldnโt remember the last time he felt such joy, and while the challenge of dealing with her family would be inevitable, he was ready to fight for his love. Now that he knew that Anne reciprocated his feelings despite his lack of wealth and prestige, he could take on anyone, even under the pain of death.
He stopped her from bowing, gently helping her rise up so that he could look her in the eyes. The urge to kiss her then was overwhelming, but even he knew not to overstep such boundaries. Only when they were wed would he dare to shower her with affection, with sweet kisses and loving embraces.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โI will, Anne. I have no intent of pursuing your lands, your ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย monies, or your great houses. I want only you.โ
Though both of them would most likely be shunned from proper society and she would lose her place among the Boleyns, they would have each other. With Anne by his side, he would need nothing else.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โYour father and your uncle would object if they heard of ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย our plans. We must leave England. Tonight.โ
Maybe it was too soon, but he feared that the longer both of them stayed there, the greater the risk that the Duke of Norfolk would figure out what was going on. And when a powerful man like him wanted to stop something from happening, he would. He thought of fleeing to France, to a small French countryside where he could make a living as a small landowner and an inventor.
Thomas had already stashed away some money to help him begin a small business, but he could use it to fund their escape from England. His only consolation was that his older sister, Lucille, had already been married to a doctor in Italy, and was thus far away from the dukeโs influence.
โI want only you!โ God how his words struck a chord in her heart. She has waited for the day that a man would say that to her, causing her heart to bubble up in her chest and set her free from the pressures of her family.
โI will meet you by the boat at midnight, then...โ she held his hand firmly. There was nothing that could keep her from going with him. โIโll bring as much as I can fit into my larger trunk. I can sell some jewels and we can get some money to at least start a life.โ
She wanted to kiss him desperately, but knew she must save it for later. โI love thee, sweet love of mine.โ She whispered softly before making her exit with a brisk walk up to her chambers, already beginning to pack.
Anne redressed in a gown of blue fabric, simple but nice enough to denote she was a lady. She wore a dark cloak and had her long dark curls tucked into its hood. It was raining slightly as she waited, praying that he would make an appearance. They only had a matter of minutes left to board.
โOh Thomas... where are you?โ

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Anne turned her head in his direction, not quite sure how to take his first comment. The longer she stayed at court, the more people tended to say implicating things about her and her time in France. It was her sister who had been a mistress to the French monarch, not her. She just did not want to believe that HE of all people would say something about it.
When he stopped next to the castle, she stopped with him, wishing he had left his hand in hers. It felt rather empty without the warmth of his skin against hers.
โI would not know. I only know his Majesty through my sister.โ Anne replied softly.ย โAlthough I am sure that his Majesty would have liked to get to know me more intimately as well.โ
Anne turned once more to him, her voice quiet, her gaze piercing,
ย โI grow tired of waiting... and if we are not together soon, I fear my father has already set in motion plans of my betrothal to Henry Percy. That and the potential he sees to shove both my sister and me in front of the King as meat. And you know how he is. I will be lucky to escape with even a quarter of my reputation intact. We mustn't delay any longer than we have to. Otherwise, it will all be for naught.โ
@thcmosthappy
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Anne had been soothing her son when she heard that sound of someone nearby. She did not stop the gentle movement and did not take her gaze from her son to see who had come in. โI am sorry if heโs disturbed you. I had to come and calm him down,โ Anne spoke her voice was quiet and even as she was trying to make sure Edward dropped off to sleep. She loved taking care of her little boy without the nurses interfering.
Anne had simply followed the crying of the baby, curious about who it was that was crying at these deep hours of the night. She smiled and curtsied seeing the pair,ย โNot at all, I was still up, I just wanted to make sure that the babe was alright.โ Anne observed them with her dark eyes for a moment. Such a lovely pair the two were,ย โHe looks just like you.โ She smiled, offering up the compliment.
change of plans- please read
&&.ย
originally, i thought i was going to have a couple nights off this week to do some writing and such and just relax. boi was i wrong. i just got my schedule for one of my jobs and i work every night this week after working a full-time job in the morning. so monday-friday this week will be H E L L. extremely sporadic. i will be working 13 hour days monday-friday. and saturday and sunday i have an 8-hour shift. my hope is to blaze through some stuff tonight, but i canโt make any promises. some of my health stuff is starting to flare up again and i also have to deal with that.ย
please know i love all of you dearly and want nothing more than to write with you this week. stress wise, i just donโt know what iโm gonna do. i will always be up to chat. if anyone would like to distract me this week, just shoot me a message and i would be D E L I G H T E D to talk to you. as for that, i have some irl stuff to take care of and then i will hopefully be back to write before going to bed for work. gotta get up at 4am. note to everyone: please never work 80 hours a week. it is torture. take care of yourselves.
Anne smiled, blushing as he took her hands and kissed them before moving to her cheek and moving downwards towards her ear, kissing it before whispering and making her flush a deeper color.
โWhy sir, it offends me that you would even have to ask.โ She said softly into his own ear.ย โYour lips.โ She said softly, smiling.ย โI will think of your lips and how long again until I can kiss them.โ
@neverparted cont. from that one meme
โWhy the French are the most liberal of them all!โ she swatted him playfully. Anne found that she missed his hand in hers greatly when he took it from her own. Although he was probably right in removing it from hers. They couldnโt have anyone suspecting them too heavily of their attractions. The last thing she needed was her father on her back about having feelings for someone who was anyone less than he saw fit.

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Have you missed me?
Queen Anne Boleyn, and princess Elizabeth Tudor
Ladies, if he:
. Grew up in the French court (oui oui bonjour)
. Thought that life was a chore (so she set sail)
. Wanted to dance and sing
. Politics werenโt their thing
. But then met the king
Then heโs not your man, heโs Anne Boleyn and she didnโt mean to hurt anyone
Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again Lyric Starters
โ She looked like a fool โ โ Nearly petrified โcause she was taken by surprise โ โ Now I see everything in a different light โ โ My friends will get married, have children and homes โ โ Leaving now, is that the right thing? โ โ But who the hell am I if I donโt even try? โ โ It canโt go wrong โ โ Itโs as if youโre robbing me of my rightful chances โ โ One of us is crying, one of us is lyingโฆ โ โ I was defeated, you won the war โ โ I feel like I win when I lose โ โ Why did it have to be me? โ โ I was so lonesome, I was blue โ โ I couldnโt help it, it had to be you โ โ But baby, believe me, itโs better to forget me โ โ You can take the future even if you fail โ โ Pushing through the darkness, still another smile. โ โ When you sleep by my side, I feel safe and I know I belong โ โ Losing you is a nightmare, babe โ โ Take it easy with me, please โ โ Touch me gently โ โ Please donโt let me down โ โ No one ever could reach me โ โ Does it mean anything to you? โ โ Iโm a curious child โ โ If I trust in you, would you let me down? โ โ This is goodbye โ โ We just have to face it โ โ This time were through โ โ Now thereโs only emptiness โ โ Itโs a game he likes to play โ โ One look and youโre hypnotised โ โ It hurts to remember all the good times โ โ Look at me now, will I ever learn? โ โ I canโt count all the times that I cried over you โ โ You wont be away too long โ โ With a bit of rock music, everythingโs fine โ โ Youโre a teaser you turn โem on โ โ Youโre in the mood for a dance โ โ I have known love before โ โ I love you, I adore you, I lay my life before you โ โ Iโve been waiting for you โ โ Youโll see how much I care โ โ You were humming to yourself โ โ And none of use prepared to die โ โ If I had to do the same again, I would my friend โ โ Nothing and no one can break this bond โ โ My love, my life โ โ I can see it all so clearly โ โ How can anyone be so lonely? โ โ Iโll be there when you arrive โ โ I was sick and tired of everything โ โ And at the time I never even noticed I was blue โ โ The day before you cameโฆ โ โ Itโs funny, but I had no sense of living without aim โ
ย โ She had gotten it all wrong. Or rather, she had assumed wrong. To have another child would mean the world to Vlad. He had always wanted many children, but due to Mirenaโs pregnancy with Ingeras being incredibly difficult and almost dying due to the birth, it had proven impossible for her to get pregnant again and so they had given up and put all their love and focus on Ingeras. But that never stopped Vlad from having that want for more children.ย
โAnneโฆโ Vlad stood from the bed and walked over to her, kneeling in front of where she sat by the fire. His hands grabbed hers and held them with a gentleness that matched his eyes as he gazed upon her.ย โI would never lie to you. I would rather God strike me down where I kneel now before I ever do something of the sort. My vows to you are true and will remain true. I care for you more than you realize, and I do not consider our union as you replacing Mirena in any way. Our marriage is a new chapter in both our lives, and one I am elated to share with youโฆ
But, I must have you know that I truly do want children. I would love nothing more than to have many with you. I just donโt believe I can give you childrenโฆbecause of what I am. And I want to tell you exactly what I am, but I am frightened you will look upon me differently once I tell you, and not in a good sense.โย
Anne's eyes watered with tears. Her husband came over and grasped her hands gently, looking up at her from his kneeling position. He only cared for her. Her thoughts spinning over things that just weren't true.
He told her he wanted children and then proceeded to tell her that he would not be able to give her any. It broke Anne's heart. She had wanted to be a mother, always.
"What is it?" She asked wiping her face gently she watched him. "What is so afflicting that you may not be able to have children and?" She shook her head, "What are you then, Vlad... please tell me." She pleaded, sad.

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thcmosthappy:
Pink huesย crept their way unto her soft cheeks. Anne never thought that Thomas would say such a thing. His presence made her wish she wouldnโt go to France at all. She wanted to remain here, with him.
Dark orbs looked over the book of poems he had handed back to her. She traced the gold lettering that adorned the leather of the book.ย โPassion has nothing to do with it, my Lord,โ Anne spoke quietly as she shook her head, looking back at Thomas. Leaving England, and leaving him would indefinitely ruin her. Her sweet nature and temperate manner would disappear. Sure, he was not rich, nor was he truly all that noble, but Anne did not care. He was sincere and kind. More so than anyone Anne had ever met.ย
Soft hands encapsulated his own before leading him from the small alcove and to a place even more reserved and away from the loud mirth of the English court. The colored light of stained glass kissed her skin as she stood before him, willing to tell the truth.
โMy lordย Sharpe, I am afraid I must confess.โ Her eyes never wavered, continuing their examination of him.ย โI do not wish to leave England so long as you love me the way I do you.โ Her breath was shaky as she held the book of poems to her chest.
โI am aware of the scandal we would risk and I know that I would most certainly be shunned by my family, but I would not care if you let me be your wife. I do not have a large dowry, but I am sure it could sustain us.โ Her hopes were making themselves known as she spoke, but she finally came down to earth.ย โIf you do not feel the same, and if my feelings pose as an inconvenience, we will forget the whole matter. I will go to France as planned and nothing will be in vain. But if not, I beg of you, please tell me.โ
He felt his heart drop to his chest and then rise at her words. This was not the outcome he had expected, but he would be lying if he said that he didnโt dream of it. He took a few moments to compose himself before he spoke, and when he did, his voice trembled a little. More out of nerves than fear, which was what he should have been if he were to go against a powerful family.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย โโฆfeelings are never an inconvenience. But in a world where a womanโs father ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย determines her future, they can be a burden. I cannot lie and deny what I ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย feel towards you, Lady Anne. But I cannot offer you a good life. I have no castle, ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย only a crimson-ridden plot of land and a crumbling home. Poverty hidden by a ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย good name.โ
A passionate speech, to be sure, but he half-expected the sting of eventual rejection. Any woman in the same class as her wouldnโt seek the love of a former aristocrat. Not when she had the means and the connections. However, he fully believed that there was a side to Anne who refused to believe in the ambitious ideals of their time, and it was to that side that he focused on. A Boleyn ( well, most of them, anyway ) would claw their way to the top and put one of their girls in the kingโs path.ย
If he could, he would place them far from the maddening crowd and in a corner solely devoted to poems and passion and beauty and art. And love, if they would fall into that certain indulgence. He would allow himself to be SELFISH and boldly ask her if he could be her husband: a man incapable of wealth but more than capable of genuine love.
He prayed that the little alcove would seal their secrets away and not have their conversation reach her fatherโs ears. Thomas Boleyn was not a forgiving man, and while he wouldnโt dare strike another of noble stock, he did have the means to make the young Sharpeโs life more hellish than it already was. It wouldnโt be too difficult to spread the lies of him and his sister having carnal relations even though she was already married off to a nice young shopkeep in the village where they lived.
Anne waited patiently with baited breath for his answer, her nerves boiling up inside of her, setting her skin afire with blush. Anne watched him, dark eyes scanning his face for hints of feelings. "My future is my own, sweet sir. Is it not handed to women just as much as it is handed by God to men?" She needed him to know that this was her choice, he was her choice.
"I need no castle, no diamonds, no fortune. I am fortunate enough to give and receive God's greatest gift which is love. What is a home if not a place? It is a person, my lord. As for your name, I would be proud to bear your name." She took his hand deliberately in her own holding it tight. "I would be proud to be your wife, the mother of your children, anything you ask me to be. I would be proud." She kissed his hands gently.
"We don't need material things. We will have one another, our poetry, our books, our goals and aspirations. We will have each-other. Does that not fulfill you?
Her question wasn't meant to sound pointed, but she wanted him to know that she would be by his side. Through everything. Tired from work, old from age, weary from childbirth; through it all she would remain faithfully his wife.
"Thomas," she spoke softly, looking into his eyes, "If you will have me..." she bowed slightly before him, nervous, shaking, overcome with emotion.
@sxnofthedxvil
Anne stirred upon Vladโs kiss to her head. She had not been in a deep sleep, nor had she expected him to come to bed so early. It was their wedding night, and despite the celebration, Anne did not know what to expect from him.ย
Rolling onto her other side to face him, she brushed her dark locks from her face. A soft smile crept unto her lips. His brow was furrowed. Vlad was deep in thought. Her insecurity could not help but spark the fear that perhaps she was the reason he was deep in thought. Did he think their union was a mistake?
โYou know, if you donโt stop with that frowning, your face will be stuck like that forever.โ A soft chuckled escaped her pink lips as she reached out for his arm, stroking the skin gently.ย โI hope that I was accepted at the festivities. I know that it may be difficult for people to like me, let alone refer to me as your wifeโฆ.โ Anne swallowed thickly, biting her lip.ย โI pray that Ingeras grows fond of meโฆโ She knew that she could never replace his mother, but she hoped that Vladโs son would grow to trust her as a mother figure. Anne craved children. It was something they had never talked about. Vlad already had a son. It was assumed that Ingeras would be his successor and that he was satiated by his first child. While Anne wanted to be a doting and caring stepmother, she also wanted a child of her own. A child of her flesh.ย
Sitting up, she gathered the courage to break the ice on the topic.
โVladโฆโ her voice started high and slow,ย โI was wondering.โ She paused, taking a breath,ย โI was wondering what you would think of more children.โ She quickly followed with an explanation, not wanting to offend her husband,ย โPlease do not think I do not love Ingeras, for I do, as if he was of my blood. But, I would like to bear a child. To be a mother in every sense of the word.โย
Her heart raced and her eyes scanned his form,ย โIf you donโt wish to have another child, I understand.โ She said softly, averting her eyes away from his form in insecurity.
Anne was nervous. Nervous about how he would receive her inquiries about children. And she was smiling until he said, 'I just...' it was just that he didn't want another child. Anne understood. She was hurt, though. This was her first marriage. She had never before had a child, or a husband for that matter and therefore she had never lost a loved one as he had. It was hallowing, hard to swallow, and deep in the recesses of her mind, her father's words poked st her with hot rods of malicious cruelty about her appearance and behavior and how no man would ever love her.
Anne shook her head, slipping her tender fingers from his grasp, "I understand, Vlad." She spoke softly, moving to lay back down. "Please forget I mentioned anything." Her dark eyes lost their spark and her smile faded just as quickly. She felt cold. Cold and dead. But she would endure. She always endured. Anne was strong no doubt, and she swore she would be the best step mother she could be to Ingeras.
Then, he paused. He seemed so hesitant and she was laying back down, looking up at him. He had brought up what he had once told her before their marriage. It was a while ago, during their courtship. "I remember." She mumbled softly, still feeling dejected. Tears peppered her eyes and cheeks and her heart beat erratically in her chest.
"I remember clearly." She wiped her face slightly, "But you do not have to tell me if you do not want to. And you don't have to make up excuses." She shook her head. "I cannot imagine all of the pain you have experienced, Vlad. But you do not have to lie to me. You don't have to tell me that you would love to have a child when you don't want one, or anything else for that matter."
"I-I will never be able to replace her. And I am sorry." She said softly. "I wish she were still here. Because I feel how much you love her. And I feel how much Ingeras loves her." Swallowing thickly, Anne shook her head as she slipped from the bed, "I married you, because I fell in love with you. No matter what or who you are." She was looking at the fireplace, the light catching her dark eyes, "And if the feeling is not mutual, then I understand. But I will make one thing clear. I do not want to be lied to. About your feelings, or about our marriage. If you don't want a child, then say so."
She felt anguished at the loss of something that hadn't even existed. But Anne did not want to get her hopes up for something that would never happen. "Just..." she felt her heart seize in her chest. Why did it hurt so much? She slumped in the chair in front of the fireplace, holding back tears. What had she done?