Kristi

clexa week 2019 - day 1

prompt: useless lesbian

ao3 link

Lexa reluctantly goes to a gay bar with Anya and meets Clarke, who flirts with a clueless Lexa. Or rather, she attempts to.

Lexa crossed her legs and sighed. She couldn’t believe she let Anya convince her to come here, after telling her time after time she just wasn’t ready for a relationship, especially with how things ended last time.

“Lighten up.” Anya spoke, awaking Lexa from her thoughts. “You’re at a gay bar, not a lecture hall.”

“Well, I didn’t really want to come here.” Lexa said, rolling her eyes, “I’m clearly shit at women, so what’s the point?”

“Stellar attitude. You’ll have them falling at your feet in no time.” Anya replied sarcastically. “Besides, no one is forcing you to be here. You don’t have to stay if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Whatever.” Lexa took another drink, hoping the alcohol would wash away her visible unease.

“Oh my god,” Anya spoke. “Don’t look now, but that blonde hottie is looking over here.”

“Anya, you have a girlfriend.”

“Not for me, for you! Plus,” Anya smirked, “she’s definitely not looking at me.”

Lexa looked over to see a blonde girl, twirling her hair and biting her lip. Anyone could clearly see she was being seductive, anyone except Lexa. She knew it was rude to make eye contact and not at least smile back, so Lexa let the corners of her mouth turn upward (which would’ve happened anyway around a girl so gorgeous) and her hand wave back.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Anya whispered to Lexa, winking. As she got up to leave, the blonde came walking over to Lexa, taking Anya’s seat.

“Hi,” she extended her hand towards Lexa, “I’m Clarke.”

“Lexa.” She replied, shaking her hand. It felt odd to do so outside of a business setting, but at least it gave her something to do with her restless hands for a second.

“So, was that your girlfriend you were with?” Clarke asked, twirling the wavy hair that fell down her shoulders.

“Anya?” Lexa laughed, “No. She’s a friend of mine, thought I should get back out on the dating scene.”

“Well of course you should! If not for yourself, for the rest of us. We need more girls as beautiful as you playing for our team.” Clarke replied, nudging Lexa’s arm playfully.

Lexa felt her cheeks turn beet-red as she began to laugh nervously. “Me, beautiful? I don’t think so…but thanks.”

Clarke picked up her glass, taking a sip. She stopped for a second before whispering, “I think so.”

Lexa felt taken aback, but also sure that Clarke was just being nice. Who wouldn’t combat a self-deprecating comment with a compliment? It was basic politeness.

“Thank you, really.” Lexa smiled and bowed her head shyly. “Are you here with anyone?”

“My friend Octavia, who’s not even gay, but she just begged me to let her tag along. Not a big deal, but I don’t know why she’d want to come to a gay bar when she’s a straight girl with a boyfriend.”

Lexa nodded. “Do you like her?”

“God no. I’m single, not desperate. Besides, she may be my best friend, but she’s not my type.” Clarke replied, attempting again to flirt with a clueless Lexa. “I’ve got a thing for girls with green eyes.” Clarke said, internally cringing but keeping her cool on the outside. She’d usually make a comment about hair color or something of the like, but seeing as Octavia and Lexa were both brunettes it wasn’t exactly an option.

Lexa remained oblivious at Clarke’s attempts to flirt, instead only letting out a small laugh and joking, “I guess color contacts are a must for all non-green-eyed girlfriends of yours.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Clarke laughed. The joke wasn’t really that funny, but there was something about Lexa that just put her in a better mood. She was becoming frustrated, and could realize being subtle wasn’t going to get her anyway.

“You know what? You’re pretty cool, we should hang out sometime.” Clarke said, pulling the napkin from under her drink. She tapped the bartender’s shoulder, asking, “Do you have a pen?”

They nodded, handing Clarke a black ballpoint pen. “Thank you.” she said, beginning to write on the napkin.

Lexa watched as she swiftly moved the pen across the napkin with one hand, and held it still with the other. Her fingernails were short, and she’d already mentioned being into women. Hell, she’d complimented her like five times in the past few minutes and was practically asking her out. But, Lexa knew she had a reputation for looking too far into things. Surely, Clarke was just being nice.

Clarke handed the pen back to its owner and slid the napkin across the counter to Lexa. “Here’s my number. Call me sometime.” Clarke said softly, getting up to leave.

“Of course.” Lexa replied, grinning at Clarke and taking the napkin into her hands.

Clarke smiled back, and began to walk away. Nearly ten seconds after she had left, Anya had sat in her seat to replace her. “So, when’s the wedding?”

Lexa looked at her with a puzzled look. “What?”

“You two clearly have something going on, you’ve got chemistry off the charts.” She replied. “I told you you’d be happy to came here with me.”

“Oh, Clarke?” Lexa laughed. “She’s not into me. No way. In my dreams.”

“Are you blind? She was all over you.” Anya wasn’t surprised Lexa was unaware of obvious flirting cues, but this felt like a whole new level of oblivion. “It’s up to you if you’re into her, of course, but she is clearly into you.”

Lexa looked back at her, still unconvinced.

“What’s that in your hand?” Anya asked, referring to the folded napkin.

“Oh, she left me her number. Said we should hang out sometime.” Lexa said, fiddling with the napkin.

“Oh my god, Lexa,” Anya spoke, throwing her head back in both amusement and disbelief. “She asked you out.”

“No, she-“ Lexa stopped and brought her hands to her face, sighing. “I’m really that oblivious, aren’t I?”

Anya chuckled, “That’s why you have me. You’re going to call her, right?”

Clarke: What are you talking about?!

Lexa: I just don’t think it suits you. You should change it.

Clarke: [scoffs] Like to what?

Lexa: Woods

Lexa: [walks away]

Clarke: …

me, an aged monarch lounging on my fur-strewn throne, gesturing for my servant to bring me my monacle: Bring them here! Bring them here, I say. Let me look at them.

guards: *drag the unwitting blog before me*

me, peering intently at the new blog and poking them with my scepter: Is this a real person? Hmm? What have you to say for yourself? What are your fandoms? Your interests? Speak up, these old ears aren’t what they used to be.

guards, tentatively: they do seem to be a real person, sire. We found them in possession of several memes and a fandom rant.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

by eternaleponine

Summary: During the day, Clarke works for a bank. At night she makes extra money as a bartender at a bar near the airport. Lexa is a frequent flyer who happened upon Clarke’s bar after one trip, and now can’t seem to stay away… but she also can’t bring herself to make a move. Or, y'know, eye contact. When a massive storm cancels Lexa’s flight and they end up alone together at the bar, will one of them finally make a move?

For Clexaweek2019, Day 1: Useless Lesbian

A Hogwarts AU Moodboard:

Lexa Woods arrived at Hogwarts, age 11 and was promptly sorted into Ravenclaw. Over the past six years the arithmancy nerd and Seeker, all glasses and gangly limbs, has managed to stay under everyone’s radar, romance-wise, which is just how she likes it.

Former Beaux Batons student, Clarke Griffin has arrived to complete her magical studies and is upsetting every apple cart, from criticizing the potion teacher’s recipes to an all-out revolt against the school’s use of “artisinal surveillance” and even…horrors…ending dangerous sports like Quidditch after one player is nearly killed going after the snitch…and crashing into a post head-first.

For her own part, Lexa swears that post wasn’t there moments before and she also swears she was never distracted by the new girl and her generously filled uniform…she is absolutely positive someone threw a curse her way…

Possibly suffering a concussion or simply Useless Lesbianism, Lexa finds herself, mysteriously, wherever the blonde witch just happens to be and is it really her fault if she keeps falling down or walking into things? Hogwarts is a school dedicated to magic, after all. Floors can be slippery and walls can appear out of thin air. And who knows? Maybe a love potion was involved.

Clarke Griffin is rather talented in that area…and seems to take a subtle delight in watching the poor Ravenclaw hit the floor whenever she’s around…is the latest addition to Slytherin up to something nefarious? Or does she just like watching girls fall for her?