that's my dick

she  was  paying  literally  ZERO  attention  to  her  surroundings  why  did  she  need  to?  usually  people  got  out  of  the  way  for  her.  after  all,  she  was  an  entitled  millennial  or  whatever  it  was  they  shouted  at  her  as  they  tried  to  not  spill  their  coffee  from  an  inevitable  shoulder  bump.  this  case  was  no  different,  except  --  hair.  lots  of  it.  okay.  ‘ jesus,  dude. ’  eyes  widened  at  the  length  of  the  blonde  locks  as  she  took  a  step  back.  definitely  not  getting  herself  tangled  in  THAT  mess.  ‘ yeah.  it’s  called  buying  a  pair  of  scissors.  have  you  EVER  had  that  cut?  because  that’s  really  somethin’  else. ’

‘ hey. ’  hands  rose  quickly  in  mock  surrender.  ‘ doesn’t  hurt  to  ask.  new  city,  new  you  and  all  that  cliche  b.s. ’  pause.  ‘ by  the  way?  spin  class?  totally  a  trap.  went  with  chloe  once  and  i’m  pretty  sure  my  soul  is  STILL  re-entering  my  body. ’

‘ it  was  supposed  to  put  you  to  sleep! ’

‘ i’m  not  bossy,  i’m  the  queen. ’

‘ did  i  forget  to  shave?’

‘ so  brave.  so  gallant.  so  pointless. ’

‘ listening  to  you  has  been  enough  suffering  for  all  of  us. ’

‘ by  the  way,  have  you  been  taking  kick  boxing  and  not  telling  me  about  it? ’

‘ can’t  help  but  feel  personally  violated  about  that  part. ’

she  was  definitely  NOT  a  fan  of  easter.  if  she  was  being  honest,  the  whole  old  guy  in  a  bunny  suit  giving  children  candy  thing  was  a  whole  new  level  of  creepy  that  even   s h e   couldn’t  get  behind.  --  but  some  weird-ass  middle  aged  man  offering  her  a  tiny  version  of  said  bunny?  oddly  enough,  TOTALLY  down  for  it.  ‘ yes. ’  yes,  what,  beca?  ‘ i  would  feel  SUPER  flattered  and  creeped  out  all  at  once.  if  that’s  what  you  were  going  for,  then  congrats,  dude!  you  got  game! ’