this is not a blog

Hey guys!

So some of you that follow me probably know me as the person who just reblogs everything. Well, I wanted to change that and be able to interact with everyone I follow and everyone that follows me. :D I will be posting some weekly advice things, I’ll be reblogging (still a fitspo, not to worry), answering questions and the rest of it! 

I hope this change is for the better and I also hope I get to know all my followers <3 

Dear Blackout,

My mother has never called me by name, 

she calls me beautiful

“How was your day, beautiful?”

“Beautiful, help clean up.”

“Yes, beautiful?”

And I believed her.

But then I turned on the tv,

flipped through the magazines,

saw the only thing deemed a “beauty”

to look nothing like me. 

And as all the boys chased my friends,

with flirtatious words, fawning over fair faces, 

mine received not one glance

not one word

and the silence erased my mother’s words

in a deafening, hollowing way.

But days like today,

moments like this,

I hear her loud and

clear 

(once again)

“I see you, beautiful.”

“I love you, beautiful.”

”Beautiful.”

And so thank you, blackout,

for the reminder, 

sweet as honey,

warm as my mother’s voice,

that my black is beautiful.

(You all are beautiful to me.)

The eyewitness who recorded the cellphone video that put a South Carolina police officer in jail on a murder charge just said that he is afraid for his life. Feidin Santana walks with security who is watching out for him right now – something he is fairly low key about – but in his first interview Wednesday, he said that even when he first told officers on the scene that he recorded the incident, he had the impression that he would be killed if he waited around.

“I’ve seen that movie before” he said last night in an interview with NBC News.

So when the officers told him to “wait right here” and they left to get other law enforcement officers, he took off and leaked the video through less formal channels.

Now, he says that he still believes his life is threatened by members of the police department. He walked the same route to work every day – that’s when he saw and recorded the incident which led to the fatal shooting of Walter Scott. But now that has all changed. He explained in interviews yesterday that now he varies his route to work and does not go that same way any longer, in order to avoid assassination.

Santana told NBC News that “I felt that my life, with this information, might be in danger.”

Once he left the scene after officers told him to stay put, he worried that perhaps he should just delete the footage – as releasing it would put him in police crosshairs.

But after hearing the lies the police department announced about the incident, he decided he could not – in good conscience – remain silent.