Don't Call Me Ezzy

this is so fucking relaxing

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS

When you’re too broke to afford a Launchpad

Feeling a slight shift in weight, Ezreal lets out a small groan and rolls over slightly. When his barely conscious mind realized the thing he was now somewhat on top of was warm, he put his arms around Amumu and curled around him.

@aira-the-ancient-star

And give them a heart attack

“You do talk alot in your sleep, I find it adorable to say the least.” He said pulling Ezreal to his side and placing an affectionate kiss on his head. Ruffling Ezreals hair so it stuck up in all directions even more so than before he smiled widely and shifted the eggs. The eggs were both sunny side up in one pan and scrambled in the other, the ham in the oven roasting for the time being. “Want to see my special way to prep ham and eggs?”

“Well, watch closely okay?” His eyes seemingly shining with happiness as he took the ham from the oven and placed it on a long rod, shoving the rod into a small hole in the counter it began to spin. Holding a knife to the ham he began to peel off the skin of the ham leaving behind the pink tender meat. “And now we do this.” Slicing off a large slab of the ham it fell to the counter with a thud, slicing it into cubes he placed the chunks into the pan with the sunny side up eggs and popped the runny yoke letting it ooze over the ham. Quickly breaking up the eggs with a spatula, he moved the eggs all into one pan with a loud sizzle. “And that, is how you prep ham and eggs.”

YES IT ABSOLUTELY IS.

Why it takes me long to reply.

this is more common then you’d think

The accuracy FUCKING hurts me personally on this one.

//This is the sad but necessary truth…

For rpers: reblog if you are 18+

“No, but I imagine you would have wants or needs of your own.” He said, not at all surprised by this. The book had quite an in depth explanation on the type of succubus it summoned could do, but not much on it as a creature and/or person. Evidently, the writer and most readers wouldn’t care. “Do you eat? I mean, human food. It says here you don’t need to be fed, but it doesn’t say I you can be or not. Can you? If so, would you like anything?” He flipped a few pages and showed her a page detailing some key points of a succubus’s physiology, but mainly what it could do during sex. The only exception was a small not saying one didn’t need to feed it for the duration. @blueberry-succubus

“Nope… I eat by devouring my clients souls. But not enough for them to die or feel fatigue.” She said as she crawled on top of Ezreal and onto his lap slowly, lowering the book from his sight. She rested her head against his shoulder with her breasts were pushed against him as she kissed his neck, surprisingly her black glossed lips didn’t leave a mark. “But I’m not here to be your teacher dear, I’m here to keep you satisfied. But, judging by your question earlier, it seems you want the opposite.~” @thatoneexplorerguy

Ezreal sighed. He wasn't sure what he expected, trying to talk to a succubus. And so, he peeled her off of him and guided her into his bedroom and onto his bed. "In all honesty I'd prefer the opposite, but it looks like you're all I'm going to get for now. So using the grounds that I'm weird enough to summon a succubus to talk to, could we get around the whole 'satisfying me' by saying I'm satisfied by satisfying others?" As he talked, he worked on getting her undressed. By the time he was actually done speaking, he'd had a good five seconds of just standing at the foot of the bed trying to get out of this on a technicality.

Grab a marker and write something on my muse! ( Anywhere over my muse's body. )

“You do talk alot in your sleep, I find it adorable to say the least.” He said pulling Ezreal to his side and placing an affectionate kiss on his head. Ruffling Ezreals hair so it stuck up in all directions even more so than before he smiled widely and shifted the eggs. The eggs were both sunny side up in one pan and scrambled in the other, the ham in the oven roasting for the time being. “Want to see my special way to prep ham and eggs?”