Megan’s Adventures with BDP

still living with my parents as an adult is just like. i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to not have to worry about sending out endless job applications that all lead to nowhere. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here

i rlly hope it gets easier soon bc i am fucking losing my mind

oh and how could i forget. final boss. take your fucking medication

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to isolate myself before others could exclude me

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

please god stop talking about diets and weight loss in front of kids. especially if those kids are girls. and especially if you’re someone those kids look up to. but really just stop talking about about diets and weight loss when children are in earshot at all. I promise you you’re doing far more harm than good.

Endlessly diabolical how you can't say words like rape and suicide uncensored without either being criticised by idiots or punished by conglomerates.

It's not r*pe, it's rape. It's not su*cide, it's suicide. Not unalive, dead. The backbone needs to be reintroduced en masse because softening the blow of these concepts with advertising language does absolutely nothing but allow people unaffected by them to feel not even a sting of what they can do, prompting inaction.

And it's been proven that on certain websites, you don't even face a repercussion for using the words as they are. People just started censoring themselves because they feared the potential lack of views and likes and followers which is so nasty itself.

I attended an anti-suicide seminar in college. One of the big takeaways from it was that stigmatizing suicide increases the rate of suicide, because people who are feeling suicidal feel like they can't ask for help. Every time I see babytalk garbage like 'unalive', I think of that.

sometimes mental illness does make you act like a piece of shit. when my ocd was undiagnosed a couple years back I was absolutely insufferable because I could not control my confession/reassurance and rumination compulsions at all and I fucking hated myself so everything had to be morally pure or I would spiral and I made myself believe and said some things that made my personality not the best. sometimes healing means knowing that you are not perfect. sometimes mental health issues make people act awful and that does not give you the right to demonize and dehumanize them or the disorder. yes even that disorder. and sometimes you have to forgive yourself for the bad things you believed. you are not perfect and that is a good thing.

Mmmm medication :) I love you medication. Modern medicine makes my life so much better. "Ohh you're so young maybe you'll want to taper off..." no thank you, I will keep taking the pills that resolve my symptoms :) thank you pharmacology I love you

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

preforming my compulsions while rolling my eyes to show i know theyre irrational