thatannoyingbitch

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

The aircraft are all under the command of the Australian government, which has declared that the nuclear arsenals are not their problem and that no aircraft will help anyone out with that problem. Your grandfather did fly with the bracelet one time, but he only got away with that because no one involved knew what the bracelet was and it would have been a huge deal if anyone had realized what was up. If you charter a flight towards the world's only hydraulic press, the Australians will know and throw lightning at the plane.

You can't fly to Arizona because the FBI has a massive radar installation located right next to the hydraulic press, and part way through the story Seal Team Six gets upgraded to also being fighter pilots.

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

one of my central ambitions for the next twenty years of my life is to know less about The Discourse.

Like I don't want to have an opinion on the Super Mario Galaxy movie.

My prayer is this: Dear God, free from all thoughts of the Paul Brothers.

one of the underrated lessons from lotr's Aragorn is to avoid responsibility for as long as humanly possible, possibly in the woods, possibly without showering, until the small folk need you or whatever

1000%. Perfect, no notes

I agree. Plus, at least part of this is already canon. In Something Old, Something New, Cress mentions that she told Thorne to take the Rampion to a mechanic in Dublin, and he says he already has a mechanic and gets Cinder to look at it.

its so sad that tom paris is From star trek because if he was from anything else he'd LOVEEE star trek

AI has made the internet so much less fun. I don't want to question whether a photo of a bunny is real. I don't want to worry about someone making a deepfake just because I posted a pic with my friends. I want to read a recipe and know that the photo is a real cake they made. Yes I know I need to touch grass but also I think I should be allowed to interact online without second-guessing whether someone fabricated every image for personal gain

Men & women are inherently human.