Just A Place

My mother told me a while ago that she knows she wasn’t the best mother, a part of me wishes I told her how I feel. But with the inability to actually articulate what I want to say and a fe other things, I never did.

I don’t get comforted. I get told choices and reprimanded. I don’t get told some things and sometimes I’m not included in things. I just want it different

Mmmmm I’ve been on and off with feeling better, and sometimes I just wish I could not exist anymore. I just really want to be happy and now have all this stress, or even things be consistent. I want to start a new life somewhere without being held back financially

So I lost my job and I feel so bad about it. For context, I never thought highly of myself and the reasons of why I lost this job just kind of confirmed what I thought of myself, which isn’t necessarily good. I’m trying to find a new job but with COVID-19 and a lack of skills and experience makes it extremely hard to even FIND one that I can qualify for and get a reply back. That and I need to close to home to even get there properly.