My birth stone is a coffee bean

A luna moth (Actias luna) in New York, USA

Purple Irises by Calm Waters

“Somewhere in Germany” by | Robert Bilos

there are moments

i don’t think you even notice.

little ones.

the kind that happen

in the middle of a FaceTime call,

when you laugh at something

or smile at your phone

and suddenly

i catch myself smiling too.

not because i meant to,

not because i was trying,

but because something about you

pulls it out of me

so easily.

it’s the way your laugh

turns the whole room lighter.

the way your smile

makes my chest feel less heavy.

the way i can be stuck

inside my own head,

overthinking everything,

turning every thought

into a thousand more,

and then you’re there.

just you.

and for a second,

my brain stops running.

the noise quiets.

the world softens.

everything that felt too loud

fades into the background.

and it’s just your face

on my screen,

your voice in my ear,

your laugh finding its way

into places in me

that have been tired

for a long time.

i think that’s why

it has always felt different

with you.

because you don’t just

make me happy.

you make me still.

you make me feel like

i don’t have to brace

for the next bad thing,

or explain every piece

of what i’m feeling,

or carry all of my thoughts

at once.

with you,

even the quiet feels safe.

and maybe that is

one of the softest ways

i know how to say it.

i smile because of you

in moments you don’t even see.

i smile at your laugh,

at your little looks,

at the way you exist

so naturally

and somehow still manage

to undo me.

i smile because

you bring peace

without even trying.

because when you are laughing,

i don’t want to be anywhere else.

because when you are smiling,

the rest of the world

doesn’t feel so heavy.

and when everything in me

wants to overthink,

you have this way

of becoming the one thing

my heart does not question.

you quiet the noise.

you soften the room.

you make the world

feel small enough

to breathe in.

and in those little moments,

when it is just you

and that smile

and that laugh

i never want to stop hearing,

i think to myself,

yeah.

this is why