Absolute Wonder Woman Headcanons
Diana, my love, it was about time I made some headcanons of my favorite iteration of Wonder Woman. I love this absolute softy with a heart of pure gold and kindness, but can and will take on a God/Goddess if given the opportunity. And if you piss her off enough. (Hades.) There will be SFW and NSFW and they will be separated. SFW first, of course. And these are written with a female reader in mind.
--as mentioned before, she is such a softy when it comes to you, like tooth rotting fluff
--literal definition of would not hurt a fly, because she would not
--if you find like any sort of bug, insect, or arachnid in the house, Diana can not only talk to it (I believe), but will take it outside (except for spiders. She will relocate them in the house/apartment to where you won't find it for a while)
--animals love her, like absolutely love her, and she loves them
--if she's spending a lot of time with animals, and Pegasus is around, Pegasus will get jealous and stamp around until Diana calms him
--would definitely take you out on Pegasus for the first date kind of transportation, here's how it would play out
Diana whistles and Pegasus flies down into view.
--she convinces you that Pegasus is safe and if anything happens, she's there to save you
--in which you proceeded to literally be in Diana's arms while flying as that was the only way you'd feel safe (for the first time of course)
--other times if you wanted to, you'd still be in Diana's arms
--speaking of being in her arms: certified and verified best hugger ever
--those arms of hers, yeah she can choke out a Chimera with one tight squeeze, but is so comforting when she hugs and cuddles you
--she loves holding you close to her in any position (wink wink)
--she loves it when you sit on her lap while you two are just lounging about and your face is tucked into the crook of her neck
--also loves to hug you from behind if you're doing something, but with her being 7 foot tall, she has to lean down a bit to place her head on yours
--she will pick you up every time to kiss you
--if she sees you try to stand on your tiptoes, she will just scoop you in her arms and kiss you
--loves it when you play with her hair and give her different styles (especially braids)
--and when I mean play, I do mean like running your hand through her hair when you're cuddling, petting it, but also being silly with her hair
--like giving yourself a long moustache or beard (will also love it if you give her one as well. She'll just absolutely melt when you're silly around her and you bring her into the mix)
--is also the kind of person to slow dance in the kitchen and if you own like a ranch, she will slow dance with you in a field under the moonlight
--I feel like in private she'd call you her moon or her stars, or even her sky (Idk why, but I think her associating constellations to you is something unique that only she'd do)
--but if you two are in public, she'd call you love and darling
--very overprotective, but not in a way where you can't be independent from her
--like if you go out alone with friends, she'll just ask to text her when you get there and when you're coming home, she doesn't expect you to give her constant updates
--and of course if there is anything that goes wrong, she's there to help out
--I can see her sleeping very hot, so if you're a person who is typically cold all the time, you have your own personal heater and she has her own personal AC unit
--like she'd be sprawled out on the bed, starfish style, and you're laying on top of her cooling her off while you steal her warmth
--is fascinated with the height/size difference
--like her hand swallows yours and if she carries you, she's basically enveloping you in her body
--is definitely not the jealous type, not the stereotypical jealous type like I've written for other characters like JQ
--but if someone is being pushy with you, she will step in
--and she won't have to do much with how intimidating she can become
--I can see it playing out like so:
Diana walks over to the person, her hands in fists as they rest on her hips, her one eyebrow is raised and she has a stern look in her eyes. The person folds immediately and backs off. If they don't, well, they're going to learn a lesson from Wonder Woman herself.
--loves to kiss every inch of your skin and if you're insecure about your body image, she is the queen of reassurance; she will just show those spots even more love (will get more into this in the NSFW section)
--I feel like she's also a handsy person (not in that way just yet)
--like you two are together in the house/apartment and if you're near one another, her hand is on your body somewhere that is ok
--like on your shoulder, your hand, thigh, or even an arm wrapped around your waist, holding you close
--always the big spoon unless she wants to be the little spoon
--it feels like she's protecting you with how big of a woman she is
--she will have those vulnerable moments where she will let you be the big spoon, but that's if she's especially had a rough time
--loves to cook and bake, but is better at baking than cooking
--will make you special baked goods if you're having a rough week or if your birthday is coming up
--and they always taste amazing, you don't know how she does it because when she tries to show you, it doesn't come out like how she's done it
--she tells you that she puts all her love in it and it shows
--if there was a competition when it comes to aftercare and how well they do it, Diana would win every. single. time
--she does not joke around when it comes to being intimate, the safety precautions (even though there are not many dangers with the two of you), but she still goes the extra mile to make sure you two are still practicing safe sex
--and is the queen of aftercare as well
--she'll get a bath or shower ready for the two of you and will help clean you off
--will get you water and just overall make sure you are comfortable and taken care of after being intimate
--I feel like her libido is kind of low and doesn't really happen often (borderline demisexual)
--but whenever she has to go to Hell for a month out of the entire year, whenever she comes back, she's all over you
--that's the only time where she will actively want to be intimate with you, because she's missed you so much
--she will leave behind a piece of her clothing for you whenever she does leave
--or at least have her smell on a piece of your clothing so if you do miss her that much and want to ya know, you have something there that will remind you of her
--however, she does not partake in the act of touching herself when she is in Hell (I don't see her as the kind of person to do it in general)
--she has different sizes of straps that tends to your needs
--she also 1000% puts your pleasure first before hers every. single. time, no ifs, and or buts about it
--that is whenever she is taking charge, when you do, she's in the palm of your hand
--vanilla if she's initiating, but will be up to try whatever you're into if you are into that kind of stuff
--but will not do extreme stuff and anything unsanitary
--the only time she will do like some "bondage" is holding your wrists above your head in her hand (because we know damn well she can hold both of your wrists without issue) and some light pinning
--if there is such a thing as a super fucking soft dom that has no room to be a hard dom at all, that's Diana
--sex with her takes hours, not because you're doing round after round (if you have the stamina, you know she will because that woman would have stamina for days)
--but it's because she is just admiring you, making you feel loved, making you feel comfortable
--basically is worshipping you and you eat it up
--but that doesn't mean you can like dictate her around, she won't budge on a few things, such as taking her sweet old time kissing every inch of your skin
--she will go from your fingertips, to your forehead, down to your chest, stomach, and thighs
--she won't go any lower than the thighs, maybe back where the knee bends, but that's if your legs are over her shoulders
--would be very shy the first time being intimate
--like she'd be super fucking awkward when it comes to foreplay and just kind of setting the mood, so most of the time you'd have to start and then she'd take over
--best kisser in the entire universe, no I will not be answering questions on how she would get the experience
--the same goes with being the best at giving head, especially if she uses her fingers (you'd be a mess in the palm of her hand)
--and might as well lump in knowing how to use a strap and is the best at it
--first time using it, she was painfully slow, but after a while of grinding and reassuring her everything was going to be fine, she started to go just a bit faster
--she's afraid to hurt you in any way shape or form and it's easy for her to lose control if she's not in the right headspace
--meaning if she's too absorbed in the moment, she might lose control of her strength and end up breaking the bed and hurting you to where you can't walk in the morning (without the intention of doing it)
--so she always is talking during intimacy either through whispering how good you're doing, how well you're taking her (it helps ground her and keep focused)
--or just overall just telling you how much she loves you, adores you, all that mushy stuff
--might crack a joke here and there, so she's not too serious about intimacy
--and her eyes says it all during these moments with her
--it can be overwhelming to the point where you can just see how much she truly loves you and wants to spend this sacred moment with you
--on the off occasion that you are leading, she's very vocal and I mean VERY vocal
--to the point where if you two are living in an apartment together, you get some noise complaints the next day so you sometimes have those moments in Diana's fortress
--she's not afraid of getting hurt because she knows she can handle it
--but you don't go full on pounding in and out of her, she still has some limits
--she will get you all hot and bothered and act like she's all innocent and will smile at you like she is innocent (I swear those big blue eyes of hers are going to be the death of me one day)
--and how she'll do it is she'll do it in public
--like if you're on a date night together and you're sitting next to one another, she'll run her hand along your inner thigh, squeeze it a bit, you know, that kind of stuff
--she might even get a little flirty with you, calling you pretty, making you look her in the eyes when she catches you staring at her chest
--can and will edge you, she has no shame in that
--whenever she is kissing along your body there are a few main areas she always goes to
--being your neck, stomach, and inner thighs; she loves marking those areas and sometimes your shoulders
--will do anything and everything to kiss your back
--now as for her, she loves it especially if you kiss her biceps, neck, abs, and maybe her V-line if you're feeling adventurous (and if you're into that)
--will melt if you kiss/boop her nose
--will always want to look at you during intimacy (can be any position)
--I think her favorites would be of course the normal position, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, you on your knees, and if you are doing cowgirl, she doesn't mind if you lay down on top of her
--it's always a great experience no matter what with Diana