Stress and anxiety are caused when there’s a disconnect between your values and your behavior.
Christy Wright
So, when I’m upset about being upset, it’s because my BEHAVIOR isn’t matching what I value. I value not getting upset about stupid things. I value not being a spaz so when I AM a spaz, I’m upset for being upset.
The sucky part is we can’t control what we feel. As much as I wish I was a robot. Alas!
I just try to remember that feelings are data and not direction. Sometimes feelings want to be in the driver’s seat. Instead, we need to pat them on the head to make them stop screaming (Yes, I see you’re there. You don’t have to be so loud!), untangle them from the steering wheel, and strap them into the backseat.
Negative feelings are your brain’s way of trying to make sure you don’t get hurt, eaten, or die. Something happened in the past and now your brain is hyper sensitive to it.
Smart, but annoying!
Knowing all this doesn’t make it easier when I feel I’m more emotive than I want to be. It does remind me that it’s not really ME that’s doing this, it’s my brain trying to protect itself. There’s nothing to fix or change to make the feeling go away. It’s just what will happen until the brain is convinced that the bad thing that happened before won’t happen again.
Thanks, brain. But we won’t die. I promise.
