The Name's Than, Jonathan

it's snopping snaturday. snop to it

we like to joke here but let’s be serious: Yoda deserved to be blasted apart (into smithereens) for lots of things, despite his wisdom

What's actually crazy is they blasted him apart every day but he used the force to keep his smithereens together.

he cant do it forever. 1 like = 1 prayer to separate a smithereen

So many ads are just “we at corporation care about our customers which is why we [thing we are legally obligated to do]”

I think about this so much more after working at a call center and being told “you need to not say outage unless we actually have a confirmed outage because we legally have to reimburse people if we fail to provide service” and then seeing that in ads as a really cool and nice thing the company does instead of something they’re forced to

the differences between alcohol, tobacco, and anything else in america is kind of absurd and it’s hard to wrap your head around without going kinda insane

you can drink alcoholic drinks in public if you want BUT ☝️ only in some places. you can smoke cigarettes almost fucking anywhere though, even though that makes the environment way worse for everyone around you. however you cannot smoke cannabis anywhere. you can’t even have it at all in a lot of places. having open containers (i.e. a bottle of liquor you’ve drank from before) of alcohol in your vehicle is illegal EVEN IF you’re sober as a nun. you can smoke in your car. everything has so much caffeine in it that sometimes a drink just hospitalizes or kills you. you can buy caffeine pills to stay awake at drugstores and gas stations. you need a drivers license to get decongestants and you have to jump through hoops and bark like a trained seal to get any kind of hrt or psychiatric medication. they sell cigs literally everywhere. they wreck your life and finances and make you smell horrid and give you cancer but a bunch of rich people are dumping so much money into keeping them legal that seemingly the only thing the government can do is “ehhh they give you cancer but we can’t BAN them.” cannabis has well-documented medical properties but old white people think smoking it makes you a satanist because of racist government propaganda. hell world

I have heard a variant on it that I really like: "You cannot hate yourself into someone you can love."

What's with the sudden bad luck Brian resurgence?

The beginning of Skyrim where you get hauled off and instantly sentenced to death just because you and some other guys happened to be in the same place is pretty much how riot charges work in real life

Dragons should stop cops from doing their jobs more often

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.