Wake of a Fractured Mind

Silver eyes locked firmly to a knot in the wood pattern above him, one hand idly petting through Ranirus’ hair and the other held skyward, fingers trying to trace the pattern in the wood grain even from a distance. The spotted Miqo’te lay comfortably sprawled across his bare chest, calming breaths causing his body to rise and fall; if he was asleep or just as spaced out Thaldrin couldn’t be sure. At some point the Thaldrin’s shirt had been lost and he wasn’t entirely sure when but given his company he didn’t mind. Nothing lewd or passionate came of it, just the soft feel of Ran’s hair and tail against his skin and the comfort of warmth. 

He could still feel the substance the two had shared coursing through him and it was blissful. All worries and frustrations gone, and all focus was on how light he felt, how comforted he was by the Keeper atop him, how exciting and wonderful this new home and new beginning was. All from a little blue vial. 

At least that’s how he felt for a long while until the glint of his sapphire ring caught is attention. “…Thaldrin?” He breathed the name in a whisper, sound barely passing his lips.

‘Yes?’ The low thrum of a voice echoed in his mind, both heard and unheard at the same time. 

He hadn’t entirely expected anyone to answer him back, glowing silver orbs blinking owlishly up at the ceiling. “I don’t want to hurt them.”

‘So then don’t… but it’s never been that simple for you, has it, Snuffles?’ Came the heady sigh. 

”I thought I could escape having the cards stacked against me. I’ve made amends. Duroxas and I both have… Has he told them? Why would he tell them? Surely he wishes to escape his deeds too.”

‘If there is anything that will always be the same for us, Snuffles, it is that nothing will ever be in our favor. Such is the way of anyone who has forsaken the Goddess. We have to pave the way on our own.’

“What sort of advice is that?” He whispered with a huff, trying to remain quiet enough to not disturb the resting prophet. “Are you telling me I –should- do something to prove myself?”

‘I am saying to do nothing would maintain exactly where we are now.’

“That’s not fair. We shouldn’t have to start six feet under. We should start on the same grounds as he started. His family started it- Not us. Not me. How come I’m being punished again for something that these people know nothing about? All because they simply don’t trust me? For what reason? This is supposed to be a new start.” His words grew louder, more heated. 

All at once panic set in, as if finally hearing himself speak outloud- Speak to his other self. He fell still, heartbeat racing as his breathing grew difficult, chest tightening and goosebumps rising. No. No, no. He was a singular person. He was both Thaldrin and Snuffles; there were no two. Not anymore. Just one. Just Thaldrin Imbertain. This had to be the Blue- had to be the come-down. 

‘People like us... like you- You don’t get to start from the beginning.’

Trembling fingers felt a sudden warmth and he jumped, staring at the olive-brown hand that gripped his hands. Ranirus hadn’t even lifted his head, clawed digits guiding Thaldrin’s hands back atop his head to his ears; the Elezen had stopped petting them at some point. With a purr and a gentle nuzzle to softer part Thaldrin’s stomach the Miqo’te shifted his position to rest facing another direction. A light blush rose to his cheeks and he let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.