TF Bunny Farm

so everyone knows that First Aid has a huge crush on Springer. even Springer himself eventually knows it. doesn’t really give the little medic a second thought, that is until one day Springer is really horny and wants some easy aft, so he basically booty calls First Aid, knowing that he’ll be all too willing.

First Aid says yes, and they do the thing. it was great, both parties are satisfied, they kinda pillow talk afterwards, but then go about their lives the next day. this happens several times again, and Springer is slowly realizing what a sweet and cute mech First Aid is, and how good and passionate he is with his job, etc etc.. Springer starts developping feelings for First Aid.

First Aid, on the other hand - while he’s having fun fooling around with this hunk of a mech, he’s slowly finding out that Springer isn’t as wonderful as he thought. He’s a bit arrogant, sometimes rude / says mean things, blabs on about all his heroic missions, and when he’s not talking about that, he’s actually kind of boring. First Aid is becoming unenamoured with Springer.

and basically, one way or another, their true feelings for each other come out. or maybe Springer starts seeing First Aid’s disinterest in him. either way, as Springer is falling for First Aid, he realizes he’s actually in trouble and needs to step up is A-game and try to woo back First Aid; has to learn how to actually hold a good conversation, how to be romantic, how to stop thinking of himself and actually figure out what First Aid’s likes and wants and needs are, all that.

The war never happens; Prowl is a Praxian Enforcer created with an experimental tactical suite. His work is mainly at the desk, using his tacnet to help those doing field work on their cases. His work is, of course, consistently exemplary. So much so that the higher-ups decide that he could be even more useful- to all the enforcers of Praxus, not just one precinct. Because he was created by and for the enforcers, every single inch of him except his spark is essentially their property to do with as they please. On top of this- they’ve found it impossible to recreate the same good results by using a tacnet alone, or even with another bot. He’s a singular, incredibly special and important resource. So, in order to make the most use of him they remove his brain module and spark chamber and place it in a specialized machine that keeps his relevant parts alive, but also connects him to almost every sort of information grid and public network. He’s also hooked up to a ridiculous amount of external storage hardware, of course. 

Prowl continues to work, because while he wishes he still had a body he does understand why, and agrees with using him this way. His output and efficiency triples. They only downside is that most people forget that he’s still a person, not just a voice in their coms or text on their screens giving them information. He starts to lose his sense of self after awhile, because there’s really nothing for him to do, and nobody for him to talk to, aside from work. 

And then one day, he starts noticing a pattern of crimes and connections between events that literally nobody else would notice. He realizes that it fits perfectly with a closed case- one that’s hundreds of years old. It fits almost exactly. But he can’t get anyone to listen to him- they’re busy with their own work, or think he’s just seeing something where there isn’t. (because of course he could find a connection! With enough time, you could find a connection to everything, etc)

Prowl realizes that if he wants something done, he’s going to have to do it on his own. The only downside is…he doesn’t have a physical form anymore. It is, however, easy to get into the confiscated accounts the enforcers have that nobody looks at anymore. It’s easy to get find contact information in the register.

the kids crash landed fuckmillion years ago as like. not yet activated cannon fodder in stasis pods or something idk. i like them being a mix of ‘autobots’/'decepticons’ tho so lmao idk, an autobot ship full of cannon fodder crashed into a decepticon ship full of cannon fodder

this is TFP EARTH weirder more contrived shit has happened before

their stasis pods survived on emergency power for a while before they all woke up (maybe jack woke up first because of a mechanical error and rescued the others???) and they were like whoah what are we what’s going on

anyway the point isn’t weird contrived backstory the pOINT is the robo kids being weird robot kids

miko is some kind of military jeep raf is a voltswagon bug and jack is idk a motorcycle?? he’s probably a weak noodle that miko can bench press tbh

the day miko learned she could do the heely’s thing is a day that will live on in infamy

his names jack because he’s a boring JACKass haha *miko high fives herself*

who knows where the other kids got their names from tbh. jack gave up trying to call himself anything else when raf got into it

the decepticon insignia (which miko and jack?? maybe???) have is referred to exclusively as 'the angry purple cat’

raf has the 'grouchy old man’ branded onto his chest

the kids live off of energon from their crashed ships and human oil which tastes like shit and gunks up their systems but u gotta do what u gotta do man

they steal the oil from the us military btw. who are WELL AWARE giant ass mechs exist before the autonerds show their faces around earth

the kids only get away with not being caught by the humans because raf 'all ur systems r belong to me’ the adorable bug is terrifyingly effective and keeps the humans off their back

they’ve seen the iron giant they know what’ll happen!!!

like 90% of their social interaction is via the internet and like, forums and blogs

raf has mastered the fine art of shitposting

eventually they accidentally show themselves to june darby who basically adopts them once she realizes they’re kids

building sized kids

with laser canons

Drift as a burlesque dancer.

Ratchet meeting him in a club, instead of in his clinic.

@iopele, sexy Drift dancing around for Ratch after they hook up, humming or singing while he cleans their apartment or something, shaking and shimmying, and Ratchet’s like ‘grab him, or let him clean….damnit…..’ Or waiting for Ratch on his naming-day or after he gets a promotion or something, in a new outfit, ready to perform just for him.

If anyone’s not familiar with the song “Show Me How You Burlesque”, it’s this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VuUMtsY-GQ (warning for some flashy lights)