Texts From Nassau

-Mod

(219): Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.

(843): He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

(812): I just announced to Denny’s that I’m not wearing a bra.

(563): how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker

(518): Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.

(817): no.

(360): It’s like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don’t even have that.

(519): There is a nerf gun war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge

(325): Sometimes I envy you when I’m not praying for your soul.

(501): If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.

(360): well I already know I’m going to hell, at this point ist’s really go big or go home

(646): I’ll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.

(203): My body feels like its decomposing

(804): I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex

submitted by @blacksailsd140

(+81): And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells “douche” on one cheek and “nozzle” on the other.