oh shit the Gauls are texting

(417): Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?

I used to use grande_caps but unfortunately their gallery crashed awhile ago and they haven't restored their Spartacus caps yet. 

(440): Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth.

(416): what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.

(609): I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

(413): I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blowjob.  So this is college.

(479); Fair enough.  I am not going out with you.  The goat was not negotiable.

(425): Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people

(660): The feeling are messing with the penis

(607): Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

(+44): When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

(406): Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.

(484): Bro, you’re like, my right testicle. Can’t go anywhere without you.

(734): If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do.

(604): And then someone hit me with a pool cue

(270): I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.

(914): DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD