reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

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me: hello darkness my old friend
darkness: I don’t know her
do u ever just look at someone and get annoyed
Full offense but women with dark skin should be treated with respect regardless of how attractive you find them 👀👀
If ur stressin over some boy just know he’s not worth it. ur too good for him

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im gonna hire someone to stand behind me and say swag whenever i pause between words
2011 was so fucked up… How did a Katy Perry song about fucking an alien become #1
He's gone.
You know what strength is? Forgiving a person who wasn’t even sorry.
not to be dramatic but i would literally rather die

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i’m convinced that the ice age franchise won’t end until the squirrel that always chases after the nut gets an equally hideous girlfriend with Squirrel Tits™ and eyelashes
no….. No
NO
No you don’t understand, I have this entire developed theory about the Ice Age universe which has been cooking up in my mind and has only be reinforced by the latest 5th installment. Scrat is the god of the Ice age universe. The story began with him and the story will end with him. If there weren’t hints before, in this latest installment, it becomes clear that Scrat’s actions dictate what happens on Earth and to the protagonists. Yes, maybe Scart’s only goal is to get the nut, but his actions SHAPE what happens in the film. If we needed any further proof then may I point out something Buck said in the 5th film along the lines of “we’re 6 mins early! Somebody up there likes us!” That phrase is usually used to refer to a god and in this case it’s used to refer (unknowingly) to scrat!
However, there is an ALTERNATE theory that I have been working on. What if Scart isn’t the god of the ice age universe, but rather, the NUT is? As i have already said, Scart’s actions shape the course of the story but what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut, it is truly because of the nut that Scart does what he does that leads to the events that take place in the story. This would create an interesting metaphor here. Scrat is chasing the nut like man chases divinity. So when will the Ice Age saga end?? When Scart finally gets the nut for good. When man catches God.
i didnt even read this but im laughing at how many times scrat is typoed as scart
“what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut” is the funniest fucking string of words I’ve read in my life
i say idk alot but trust me i be knowin
@sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)
becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am
@sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)
english: coconut oil
french: :)
english: oh boy
french: oil of the nut of the coco
IM CRYINGNFN

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*when you're really hurt about breaking up with your ex but you can't even talk about it because everyone around you hated him
quite honestly im walking into 2017 with a knife
EXPERIMENT 1000 degree knife VS 2017