TexasDaddy1989

When self doubt is too loud - a thank you to Dom’s

I was fixing up my hair a few weeks ago. We were getting ready to head out on a family outing. While I am far from perfect I was feeling calm about my outside appearance. Grabbing a strand of hair to curl I saw a glimmer of what I thought was a loose thread. At 33 it was my first grey.

I did what I assumed was the appropriate response given that I had just realized on top of all my other insecurities I’m getting OLD! Full stop, disregard for near perfect makeup I broke down in ugly tears after ripping that grey little demon from my scalp.

@daddysparrow has been grey for years, it’s actually super hot. I think it makes him look distinguished and Hella sexy. I adore his salt and pepper look. I was able to compose myself, fix my face and get on with my day, listening to the demon whisper.

The whole situation has been playing in my head. The double standard of aging and negative body image between males and females. I know without a doubt @daddysparrow loves me; my curves, wrinkles, and imperfections. So why can’t I? Why can’t my submission to him be enough to to silence the self doubt. Why does my inability to silence the self doubting demon spiral into me feeling like a horrible submissive because I can’t let his rule of no self hate empower me.

I can remember being very young and struggling with distorted self image. I can tell you I wish I was as “fat” as I was back then when I thought I was fat. The reality is Daddies, Dom’s and Master’s you have the whole world against you.

Media, advertising and even those women who struggle to spread kindness; their voices have been in my(probably your submissive too) head for my entire life. Wrinkle cream, hair colour, diet plans, waist trainers, booty enhancing creams and let’s not forget that plastic surgeons make a fortune on feeding the self doubt monsters.

There are very few issues that women face in regards to our body image that doesn’t have at least 30 commercial products that falsely claim to be able to fix our imperfections. While I know some men deal with these self doubting demons too and for that I am so sorry. I do feel thought that it is an issue that preys on women more.

Daddies, Dom’s and Master’s in the community I am so so sorry on behalf of myself and all the other submissives that struggle to hear your voices in the hurricanes of self doubt. We hear you, we love you, we want to obey, we want our brains to obey and you are a breath of fresh air in our lives.

When you look at us naked, bare faced,  wrinkles, imperfections and grey hairs and tell us we are the most beautiful girls in the world; you empower us with strength. You stand with us against the demons of self doubt. When our self doubt demon becomes too scary, you let us use your love as our shields.

Daddies, Dom’s and Master’s we love you, we are so thankful for you! Without you we would drown in the negative words the outside world throws at us. I can’t imagine the task you embark on taking on a submissive is easy. Thank you for choosing to be there always to build us up even though the world around us seems to be knocking us down.

Love you to the moon and back ♥️🐾

Thought I would tag a few thank you to the Dom’s and a reminder to the Subs to ignore their own self doubt demons

I’m an outgoing person. At times I can be crass. I speak quickly, and I laud loudly. I’m assertive, gregarious, and opinionated. I’m the sort of person who thrives on things like public speaking and lively debate. I can monopolize a conversation with ease, and lead one without so much as a second thought. My personality takes up a lot of space. I’m aware of this about myself, and I spend a great deal of time concentrating on tact. On making myself smaller. Quieter. More socially acceptable. I try time and again to be the proper lady my parents warned me I should be.

If I am not someone who has difficulty making themselves heard when need be, then why is it that when it comes time to make my desires known to my Dominant that I falter? I shrink back and become someone I’m not. Someone more like the person I try to become when I feel I am taking up too much space.

It’s not because I don’t think that he’ll step up. No, never once has he shied away. Not a single time has he deemed me too needy, too much work, or too demanding. He always works to make me feel heard. He rewards me with praise for coming to him and speaking my mind.

The truth of the matter is that I shy away from expressing my desires because I know he wants to give them to me, even when he can’t. How can I ask for more from someone who gives so much? Time and again he meets my needs, and fulfills my desires. The deeper we get into our relationship the more secure I become in the knowledge that he will, and that when he can’t, he wants to. It’s this knowledge that can make me feel as if I am burdening him. Like I’m doing the thing I’ve been avoiding my whole life… living too loudly.

She captured the struggles and glories of living in a Power Dynamic as the submissive partner so well.

“Let Him Decide…”

—

Robert Ghost Wolf (via

canis-lupus-orion

)

#greywolf

When I first came into the kink community, the prevalence of women calling their partners Daddy was staggering and shocking to me. I didn’t understand it or know what to make of it. It honestly grossed me out a bit because of my ignorance of the meaning behind that title and those types of dynamics.

I most certainly knew at the time I didn’t want to be called Daddy or be a Daddy Dom, even though I was constantly told that’s what I actually was and would be a good one.

Just as with any aspect of the Bdsm community, Daddy/babygirl dynamics are vast and will be different for each respective relationship. But on a whole, one of the biggest misconceptions I had and why someone calling their lover, Daddy, freaked me out is because I thought they were sexualing their feelings for their own father.

That’s not the case in the majority of people who fall under that style of dynamic. Instead, they are taking a classic and even comforting power exchange template, that of a father figure and his precious little girl and turning it into a healthy, robust kink dynamic.

It’s no different than someone playing cop/prisoner role play. Except with the Daddy/babygirl dynamic, it’s not roleplay, it’s about having roles that loosely define how’ll you’ll interact and the style of your dynamic you’ll reside in. No different than any other kink dynamic you want to engage in. Master/slave, Owner/pet, Dom/sub, Predator/prey and the list could go on. You don’t just have to have one style either, we weave in and out of multiple styles. But Daddy/babygirl is our foundation emotionally and Sadist/masochist is our foundation kink wise.

We all understand the power of that dynamic between a father and his daughter. What a Daddy/babygirl relationship tries to do is not replicate that relationship, replace it or sexualize it, but rather create a dynamic that understands that bond and unique exchange and recreate that style of a power dynamic relationship, in a loving and kinky manner to create a very special bond between you both.

With my current dynamic, I wear a lot of hat’s and titles. I’m her Sadist, Top, Best friend, her Primal beastly lover and her Daddy. I’m not only okay when she calls me Daddy, I absolutely love it.

When she calls me Daddy, it’s a sign of respect, love and admiration and it makes me smile and feel special when she does. I love being her Daddy and more importantly, I love having her as my sweet and precious baby girl.

*****

This rat doesn’t know anything, but it knows that sometimes snacks fall into its cage, and sometimes the floor shocks its feet.  It likes the snacks, and it hates the shocks.  It will tell you to do things that produce snacks, and it will tell you not to do things that produce shocks.

This little rat is not the only power inside your head, and it might not be the strongest, but it’s there and it has influence.

So pay attention to how you’re treating the little rat.

If every time you learn something new, you say to yourself “ugh, I’m so ignorant for not already knowing this,” you’re shocking the rat.  You’re teaching it to be afraid of learning new things, to associate it with embarrassment and self-criticism.

Remember to feed the rat instead.  Tell it “now I know, and that is good,” and let it eat its snack in peace.

If every time you take care of yourself and your home, you say to yourself “ugh, I never do this enough, and I’ll never get it right,” you’re shocking the rat.  You’re teaching the rat that it was safer when you didn’t try to take care of things.

Feed the rat instead.  Praise what you have done, forgive what you haven’t, so the rat can feel safe.

When the rat takes a step in the right direction, even if the step is too small or slow or not in quite the right direction, feed it.  Don’t shock it for being imperfect; it’ll only learn not to take any steps at all.  Feed it, and let it get bolder, and take bigger steps, and give it bigger rewards for those bigger steps.

D-types, listen carefully to your s-types self talk for those nasty negative themes. You can have an immensely positive impact with rules and tasking designed to counter those and instill a positive reframe.

-where I can use little space dinning wear all the time

-where I can drink out of a sippie 24/7

-I can walk around the house and play dress up

-bath times will become normal

-I can call or scream “daddy”

-I can have playtime and dada can play with me

-I can color daddy pictures and they can be hung up throughout our house

-I can suck on my paci more often

-I can carry around my stuffies

-I can cook, clean, and bake in cute outfits and/or daddy’s clothes

-I can watch little shows

It’s not logical. It just is.

Make her believe you. Understand that Maybelline, Revlon and size 0 with perfect D cup breasts are working hard everyday to convince her otherwise. And sadly, Tumblr porn only adds to what you have to fight through. But fight you must.

Let the spirit move you

Worship isn’t something you do merely to be of use

Worship allows you to delight in Him with all of you, with all of your senses

Delight your fingers, delight your skin, delight your lips …

Fill your ears with His moans, fill your lungs with His scent