No damn cat, no damn cradle!

Not even their kindness. Certainly not their time or an interaction with them if they want to be left alone. This is my first preface to his awkward and stressful interaction today...

This doesn’t just pertain to street harassment, which I think is important to note because most “nice guys” think they are exempt.

Today a man that is at least 50, and has creeped on every young woman in the Baltimore arts scene, ran into me at my local coffee shop. I had unfriended him MONTHS ago because he was posting creepy photos he had taken of women without their permission at such coffee shops with captions like “Makes my blood pressure go up!” etc. etc. Also he didn’t know me at all, and I felt awkward forming a relationship with this person, so I went my way and left it at that. On another occasion he had come into my work place and basically forced me to take a photo with him, even though I was clearly uncomfortable with that and FOR FUCKS SAKE, at my JOB.

Today I saw him, he said hi, and I said hi back, getting my coffee and waiting for my sandwich. Then he approached me. He said something along the lines of “I noticed you’ve been kinda cold. Did I do something?” I’d like to preface by saying I had responded to him, said hello, smiled, whatever, but apparently did not engage him enough. I was cordial, but I find him creepy, and was giving clear body signals to be left alone. 

Apparently to some men, this means that they should push because they didn’t get the overwhelmingly positive engagement they feel entitled to with women. Honestly, I’ve had a long week, so I gave it to him straight about his posting on facebook, explained I unfriended him for that reason, and really I was not being rude but didn’t really want to talk to him anymore either. He immediately denied the posts, and looked very bewildered. I reiterated what I had seen, that it was pretty gross behavior, and that I wanted to be left alone. Of course I didn’t want to have that confrontation in a public place, but he pushed me there, and honestly, I’m sick of seeing him get by with this creepy ass behavior. If someone was going to call him out, of course it would be me.