save me

In this ‘new world’ Kelly was different maybe most people were and maybe that was a good thing. It was almost like when she looked in the mirror she wasn’t really seeing herself anymore but maybe this Kelly was the Kelly she was always meant to be. The person who learns or has learned to help people rather than talking down to them or making them feel small for no reason.  Kelly really hadn’t been sleeping much these days as she’d been working and studying so much at the hospital, she was studying up on everything and anything that could and would make one sick and on top of that, she had a close eye on her who was still in her coma. With her eye on her book that she had thankfully found in the libary her looked up when she heard a sound. 

Hello. Who’s there?” She asked, her voice strong in order to not sound scared. 

tess shoved her hands into her sweatshirt, counting the packs of reese’s she had stashed in the pockets with her fingers. “oh, sorry! i just- i was looking for allie, i figured she’d be here-” she froze, looking at cassandra. she still wasn’t used to it, but then again, who would be? she looked like she was asleep if tess ignored the machines, and beeping, and tubes... “do you- would you like a reese’s?” she asked, pulling one out of her sweatshirt.

his laugh made her angry. it sounded like doubt, like she wouldn’t- couldn’t do it and anyone who knew tess knew that telling her she couldn’t, only made her want to do it more. you can’t run away from everything. her head screamed watch me but her mouth wasn’t as straight forward. “oh i’m not running, monty. i run because of a lot of things. i run from them, toward them... but this, i’m not running from this, i’m walking away. because you’re not going to let it go and nothing you can say or do will change my mind about it. and you can’t fight me if i’m not here.” she made her way to the door. “i’m not running away, you’re pushing me.”

“i’m... not sure. no one’s really in charge right now with cassandra being-” in a coma. she was tired of saying it, she was tired of knowing it. part of her was convinced it was her own fault. if she’d been there to take monty home instead of off with grizz, peyton might’ve been with cassandra and then... then peyton might be dead. the thought of it made her feel sick. she pushed the thought down and turned her attention back to elle. “i can ask someone in the guard? or maybe will needs some extra help in the kitchen?”

“better than chocolate and peanut butter? statistically nothing,” she grinned. tess was glad she could distract allie for just a few minutes, even with nonsense. “we went to hershey park once. they dress up like at disney except they’re walking candy bars. i honestly thought monty was going to pee himself when we saw the kit kat.”

sam was pissed that west ham didn’t offer asl, and petitioned multiple times for them to add it. “cass and i- we were going to work on teaching people sign, if they wanted to know. it’s not stupid at all to not know something you never got the chance to be taught.”

wait, he caught himself on her words, like a fish on a hook. “wait, considering what?” 

did she have something to do with- with everything that happened? or did she know more about sam’s feelings than she let on.

there was the GUILT again, bubbling in his chest.

“i definitely would’ve signed up for that,” she nodded, with a grin. even though he said it wasn’t stupid, she still felt it. she was used to not being good at things, but she always made sure to be when it came to something important. and for sam, this wasn’t important.

 it took her a second to realize what he was referring to. “oh, i just meant considering everything that’s happened. i can’t do much to help medically, so i found something i could do.” 

tess considered lying to him. telling him it was because they knew they had to break up to go to college and wanted to get used to it. but she was already keeping a secret from him, she didn’t want to add lying to the list. “because it’s nobody’s fucking business! it’s between grizz and me!” she watched as he continued to yell at her and she couldn’t help but feel a tinge of something wrong with this fight. not because they were fighting, but the way he was fighting. it was almost like he was too mad. it made her think about why she was getting too mad about this fight - because she had a secret to keep. that’s what the tinge was, the feeling that he was also keeping a secret and she definitely did not have the energy for that right now. “monty, i can love you and be practically twins with you and still have a secret. if you can’t accept that, then maybe i should leave.”

“hide what?!  i obviously went to his house after prom! we were... stuff was happening when peyton called and we left! that’s it! i don’t understand what’s so important about knowing that!” she was pretty sure that wasn’t what he meant but that was the best he was going to get. “why does everything have to be a direct attack on us being siblings? i’m entitled to secrets, monty! i’m sure you have some things you don’t want me to know, do you see me yelling at you about it? no!”

“i grabbed the first thing i could get my hands on so i could go help our best friend! and yeah, my only options were grizz’s clothes because that’s where i was! i’m lucky i found a pair of my sneakers or i would’ve just spent the last god knows how many hours in heels or barefoot.” tess shook her head angrily. “nothing about what you did today was in any way to help me.” she snorted at his response. “day one? you’re my older brother! don’t act all high and mighty like you deserve a fucking award or something for doing what you’re supposed to! if you shut yourself out.”

“what a guy, honestly. a true hero to our country. forget the founding fathers, they did absolutely nothing in comparison. who needs basic human rights when you can have chocolate,” she chuckled.

“my only other option was a prom dress! next time i’ll show up in my underwear, would that make you feel better?” she realized he was probably going to assume that meant she had been in her underwear, which to be fair, she had been. but he didn’t need to know that. “you made it clear you don’t like him anymore so why would i tell you about it? all you’re going to do is talk shit about him and that’s not going to help me.”