Sweet Escape

You looked like you needed some love and encouragement. I also thought it would be a very unique first meeting.

It’s hard to dictate that when 95% of the house are stupider than a brick and thicker than my dick. Are you part of that refreshing 5%?

That was so poetic, Milo. You should totally use that for lyrics. I guess I am, but I also guess you have to decide that. Who else is part of this 'refreshing 5%' club, may I ask?

I am debating internally whether or not I would rather pay more for one pizza. I mean, when I buy two I feel obligated to eat them, and when two is cheaper than one, I feel like I must save the money. If you didnt understand a word of that, just know that it is a constant struggle. Fat and happy, pizza night it is.

I understood every word, and I understand your problem. I mean, why should you pay extra for just one, when you could have two for less? That just doesn't seem logical. Do you like cold pizza? Oh yes, hit me up for that whenever you like. Seriously, I'm always down for pizza.

Sure, sure, whatever helps you to sleep at night. You just can’t face the fact that I’m a pro guesser.

Has anyone ever told you how modest you are? That might be because you aren't a pro guesser.

Quite. You didn’t fill out the survey thing, then?

I didn't. I think I was out when the whole thing happened, unfortunately.

Wait, were we supposed to get our dates presents? You and I are in the same boat. Don’t you worry. We should do a drill. I’ll only do it if you do it with me. We’ll barge into everyone’s rooms with a megaphone—see if they’ve been doing the dirty.

Don't ask me, I don't know-- everyone was giving everyone presents so it's hard to tell. It seems there's a small group of us; I feel much better about the situation now I know I'm not the only one. Like a roll call? What's in it for me, can I ask? Okay, okay, do you even own a megaphone? I'm blaming you if we're hurt in the process. 

Miss Tessie Collins, by chance?

Oh man. That's some serious guessing skill. Beginner's luck?

I thought it was sort of hard to miss with the producers shoving it in our faces. 

Well, I've dodged that, apparently. Impressive, right?

Well, that makes much more sense! Don’t worry, people have forgotten worse things, I’m sure.

I hope so! I'm sure they have... it's not really a major thing to me anyway, but I know it is to some people.

Take an educated, are you capable of doing so or are you just that stupid?

Are you that stupid that you didn't realise I was being sarcastic? 

Is “I wish the answer was me” a viable option? Because if not, it should be.

Perfectly viable. I take it you're not going to be giving out presents and sending love letters then?

Well personally, I forgot about it until there was presents everywhere and everyone was looking all fancy, talkin' about dates and stuff. So I'm really not the person to ask, but I'm sure you'll get all the gossip sooner rather than later. Go check all the rooms if you wanna know, you can be the one to wake everyone up-- I'd rather you than me. 

My biggest fear is that nobody likes it..