🌙

I was absolutely insufferable at my daughter's school, demanding to see the curriculum, screaming at board meetings about "gender ideology," getting teachers fired for using students' chosen names. I told myself I was protecting children. I told myself I was a warrior mom.

Nero didn't seek me out. I went to him. I found his address and showed up on his doorstep with a folder of "evidence" about the "trans agenda" and a voice recorder hidden in my purse. I was going to expose him as the patriarchal puppetmaster I knew he had to be.

He opened the door wearing sweatpants and no shirt. He looked me up and down and said, "You're the locker room lady."

I started my prepared speech. He interrupted me by pulling down his sweatpants.

I stopped talking.

It was the most magnificent thing I'd ever seen. Thick, heavy, already half-hard just from the morning air. It hung there between us like a verdict. Like a period at the end of a sentence I'd been running from my whole life.

"You're here because you want to know what a real man is," he said. "You've been so afraid of men in dresses that you forgot what actual male power looks like."

I didn't argue. I couldn't. I was already wet. I was already sinking to my knees on his welcome mat, in broad daylight, where any of my "concerned mother" friends could have driven by and seen me.

He let me suck him in the entryway for twenty minutes before he pulled me up, bent me over his kitchen island, and fucked me with my "Protect Female Sports" t-shirt still on. He ripped it down the back so he could grab my shoulders while he pounded me. He told me, between thrusts, that I didn't know the first thing about womanhood. That I'd been playing at being a "mother" and a "protector" because I was terrified of my own emptiness.

He was right. I was empty. I was a vessel, a hole, a nothing pretending to be something. And when he came inside me—bare, no protection, just filling me with his certainty—I finally felt full.

I went home and told my husband I was leaving him. I told my daughter I was sorry for using her as a prop in my fear. I deleted every account, every blog post, every hysterical thread. I burned my "adult human female" t-shirts in the backyard.

Now I work at a clinic that provides gender-affirming care. I schedule appointments. I hold hands. I cry with parents who are actually concerned, actually loving, and I tell them what I learned on Nero's kitchen island: that the only thing that matters is letting people become who they are.

And twice a week, I go back to Nero's house. I let him use me however he wants. Sometimes he doesn't even fuck me—sometimes he just makes me kneel in the corner while he watches TV, my "Protect Female Sports" shirt (he kept the torn one) tied around my neck like a collar. I sit there, wet and waiting, feeling grateful.

He cured my TERFism. He emptied me of all my certainty and filled me with something better: obedience, humility, and the profound peace that comes from finally admitting you were wrong about everything.

Good nazis = Dead nazis

the reason why they are so obsessed with trans men is because of the amount of power they hold over us and their ability to forcibly feminize us.