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oozey mess
$LAYYYTER
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#kid

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Observation/situation
Title: meditation at the airport
I felt very self conscious having my eyes closed and sitting upright doing nothing in the airport terminal.
Notes
Earlier I was reading about why the mind conjures up negative stories because I was 'entertaining' myself with one this morning and I noticed the negative emotions it was bringing up. Anyways the article I read on this subject suggested being mindful about what is a perceived threat and what is a real threat. Being present helps. So I decided to practise meditation.
I'm sitting at a terminal with a bunch of other people. It's fairly noisy. And I'm sitting there with my eyes closed in a dignified posture of awareness feeling very nervous about how I appeared to other people. The mediation was 10 minutes long with a focus on acceptance. The exercise includes asking yourself 'Who or what are you resisting right now?'
Immediately the answer was - myself. Other people around me. This situation. Eventually the emotion eased but it's still very strong. As if I'm standing in a spotlight and people are scrutinising me. And there's just no way anyone is doing that!
Observation/situation
Title: the best seat
I won't sit at the top front seat on the sky bus with the best view of the road and the novelty of unobstructed view because I'm embarrassed to take the best spot. I sat three seats back from the front.
Notes on the experience
I am afraid of people seeing that I am unashamed to take the best seat. I am afraid of being noticed.
Clearly other people feel the same about these seats since they immediately filled up. Majority men over 40 in the front four seats. Asian lady at the very front probably under 30.
I have had this experience before where I sat one seat back from the front and after a few minutes I changed my mind and moved to the very front which was embarrassing.
Chap-books of the eighteenth century, 1882
Just cause this makes me feel good to look at it

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Cauliflower Rice Tabbouleh
Weeknight Chicken Enchiladas
Breakfast Apple Crumble
Look at this... 👀 https://pin.it/7voOol7
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Creamy Mustard White Wine Chicken
My Favourite Chocolate Chip Cookies
Sheet Pan Jalapeño Pineapple Shrimp Tacos with Cilantro Garlic Sauce
Shrimp Toast
Crepes with Lemon and Sugar

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Azuki Red Bean Ice Cream
☘️ ~hanged city of ivywood on the @texturepak server~ ☘️ this city includes: 🌿 an old, overgrown religious building with lore for the whole city 🌿 a farm 🌿 a town hall 🌿 three houses 🌿 blacksmith 🌿 library 🌿 mine 🌿 flower shop and department store 🌿 secret melon room made by me (catoad on the server) and my brother, lum709!
coordinates: 561 / 64 / -939