when was this sent 😭😭

“just end it already, we both know you can.”

          the lack of concern over his own life had never been so plain. that same apathy always seemed to hurt the people around him more than it did him.  maybe he knew a little bit more about being the one who got left behind... maybe he should’ve known better because of that. instead, it made him fear death a little less and became a little more attracted to it. 

          those were the kind of sentiments he’d grown into because that’s the kind of life that’d been placed upon him, where death was a solution. that didn’t make it easy. it was never easy, never the first option, but it was always possible and never entirely in ones hands.

          and surely as the sun rose and fell every day, so was the certainty of a last breath. 

         why, then could he not ask for it now? why should he not be content with another’s gun aimed right at his head, promising to deliver the very thing he’d prayed for years and years? this is what both of them want, so why should he not have it?

“do you want me to beg? is that it?” he chuckled, more blood dribbling down his chin and past his crimson lips.

“yeah, well not for long. I’m selling it.” the words had only been mere thoughts a few days ago, and now that he had said them out loud they left a funny taste in his mouth. the kind that was both unappealing and inconvenient, abel had to shake his head to come to terms with both the tang and the fact that he was going to barter one of his most valued possessions. 

“I was hoping the threat of being arrested would make you leave me alone.” But the way he tossed the paper aside showed that he didn’t care much for what it had to say. “Get out of my shop Abel.”

“I had no other option, Abel. It was either that or I tell my dad what happened and we both know that would not be a good idea.”

“did you really think this would work?” abel waved the piece of paper before crumbling it and tossing it in no particular direction. silently he mocked her attempts at keeping him away.