#until-ash-kingdom

moral he had and no matter how he fought it, the ex-soldier had to admit that it felt like home.  all of it.  both the good and the bad.  two years ago the good started to heavily outweigh the bad.  kelly became pregnant.  months later they welcomed their son and in the time since bucky had finally discovered peace, which was odd considering just how chaotic being a new parent was.  sleepless nights were filled with screams of someone who couldn’t communicate wants or needs, leaving him dazed and confused.  but, when he finally managed to figure out what was causing the discomfort it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world.

          since then, bucky had made the conscious decision to throw off the investigation.  all he needed was something to get himself out from under the agency’s thumb.  shield wouldn’t just let him up and quit nor did he want to take that chance considering there was a family at stake.  the soldier feared fury would attempt a power move by dangling his family’s freedom right in front of his eyes.

          apparently, steve was on the same page.  several days prior they’d met at a park near the docks.  odd that they’d meet so far away from avengers territory but, soon, it all made sense.  turns out his best friend had not only been thinking of the same thing but had been working on something that would cut them loose.  those details were the reason behind pulling bucky so far away from home.  while everything was finalized all he had to do was meet up with hill to explain they were done.  steve would take care of the rest.

          that meeting happened the day before and ever since then bucky felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  smiles came more easily.  every movement was done with the knowledge that he no longer had to live a double life.  more importantly, he and kelly could move forward without any threat.  a dozen roses were held in one hand with a plastic bag dangling in the other.

          “  ‘ey! “  

          just as bucky turned around he was sucker punched in the gut.  paper boxes of chinese food fell to the sidewalk with a thud.  plastic crinkled as the flowers followed suit.  in an instant all of his military training came rushing to the front of his mind.  panic set in from his time in captivity.  

                                 it’s happening again.

          bucky’s arms flail, swinging and grabbing at anything within reach.  his fist connects with something but in the flurry he’s not sure what exactly falls to the ground.  there’s a string of profanity.  since the sun had fallen several hours prior there was only the scant street lighting to help guide him.  and, unfortunately, it wasn’t anything to go by.  not even when he manages to turn in someone’s arm and put all his weight into jamming the top of someone’s foot there’s several other hands to fight off.

Then of course her brother’s infatuation had to bring James Procter around and screw it all up.  

They had met for the first time when Tony had come into her shop with Steve and the then very new around James trailing behind him. Kelly hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him the gorgeous man standing almost awkwardly in the corner of her office while she discussed some club thing with her brother. She had told herself just once wouldn’t hurt anyone, no one even had to know about it.

Once had turned into twice a week very quickly.

She found out that they were very similar in the time they weren’t naked. Both ex-soldiers. Both sharpshooters with the same make and model preference in rifles. Talking to him was like talking to someone she had known for decades and she found herself seeking him out not just for sex. She’d invite him over for dinner or be the one perched on his lap at clubhouse parties. It was only recently they had started spending the night in each others homes. And this had been the first time either of them had left the other alone in their home completely. She hadn’t texted to ask where he was when she woke up to find him gone, didn’t want to seem like it bothered her to much. Instead she pulled on one of his shirts over her bare body and decided she was going to need a cup of coffee sooner rather than later.

His bike pulls into the drive only a few minutes after she’s taken the first sip of her coffee, not turning around until his voice cuts through the silence of the room. “Well considering someone used their boot knife to cut me out of my underwear and leather shorts, I needed something to wander around in.” She smirks at him, showing that even though she mourned the shorts, she had liked what he had done more. The dark haired ex-solider puts down her mug and steps a little closer so that there’s a fraction of the distance there was before. “Keep inviting me to stay and I’ll keep having reasons to wear your shirts. And probably steal them from you.”

It should worry her that all she wants is to curl into his chest and let James Procter take care of her. It should be sending alarm bells that she knows she’s been acting like his old lady the past week and a half. The thing about Kelly Oliver is that she’s never been good at heading warning signs. 

          steve’s position was supposed to be his.  years ago when the mission was first being discussed it was bucky who was supposed to go deep cover.  with his quiet demeanor and the tattoos he’d amassed since coming back from his time in the army he fit the bill.  but, as steve tended to do, he fought.  he fought up and down the offices because what no one ever mentioned about bucky’s time in the army was that time he spent as a prisoner of war.  not only had he been tortured but he’d been experimented on.  his captors wanted to mold him into something else for reasons no one really understood.  

                         as a result he’d lost an arm

           smirking, bucky lets his eyes drift down from kelly’s gaze and focuses on several metal digits.  they flex and extend while memories of the knife come rushing back.  he’d never hurt her but bucky would certainly destroy her clothes all day long.  in fact, with the threat of kelly raiding his closet, he silently wondered if he should tear her clothes apart more often.  the sight was painfully domestic.  something about the oversized shirt had the soldier pressing his lips together.  kelly filled a void inside him he hadn’t realized he’d lost in the army.  when she was close he felt complete, which was also the kind of sap that made him want to take a step back.  day by day their world was getting smaller.  with each meeting steve and bucky attended the case was that much closer to closing.  it was only a matter of time before both tony and kelly found themselves behind bars.

          “ would that be so bad? “  bucky practically choked on the words.  to distract himself from whatever facial expression kelly was making in response he looked back down at his metal hand.  he took his time removing the black leather glove that covered it in public.  the patch was enough to send people running when he was in public.  a metal arm?  most civilians didn’t know how to handle that gracefully.  “ staying, i mean.  more than just....whatever we’re doing right now. “

                   don’t do it, barnes.  don’t fuckin’ do it.

FROM: @until-ash-kingdom​ aka kelly oliver SUBJECT: “ is that a threat or are you flirting with me. “ FILE: various starters STATUS: accepting        

           bucky choked on his soda so fast there’s a screech on the linoleum when steve’s chair flies backwards.  his gloved hand waves his best friend back.  nothing like a little more embarrassment to add insult to injury.  the blonde had tony to look after now.

          he turns in his chair, looking at a wall behind him until the burning in his throat stops.  the question wasn’t meant to stir anything.  kelly happened to be sitting next to him when the assignment was announced so, why not?  they’d already been talking a lot after school.  they ran into each other pretty often at the youth center, especially since it seemed to be the hot hub for local activities.

USER :// @until-ash-kingdom​ INQUIRY :// “ if you think this is a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention. “ public string { bite the hand that beat you } ; accepting

          lips part.  steve’s initial reaction is to protect bucky’s honor because his best friend was still healing from all the torture the avengers had put him through.  they’d both known the risks but steve still found it in himself to be upset that anyone questioned his best friend’s heart.  after everything bucky had been through, after everything he’d done for the club, and after everything he’d done for kelly there was still some spark of concern.

                         and that pissed steve right off.

           he was trying to move past it.  both tony and kelly saw a threat to their home.  all they were trying to do was protect it.  still, there was still some petty left in him and he was trying to let it go.  because of that, his jaw simply clenches.  the soldier takes a deep breath to let it out slowly.  hips sway to the side.  steve’s hands come up to rest on his hips.  “ he loves you, kel.  i don’t know what else to do or what else to say to drive that home.  we’ve come to a point where you need to evaluate if you really believe that.  if you don’t then why are we even here? “

          steve’s own relationship was still on a knife’s edge.  patting the front of his plain white shirt, he grips the dog tags that are resting against his flesh.  he inhales deeply, closes his eyes, and lets it out slowly.  just because he and bucky escaped death didn’t mean they were out of the proverbial fire.  funny, considering there’d already been one to destroy all the evidence they’d amassed over the years.  all he’d kept was enough to help divert the attention to a local politician named pierce, who wasn’t innocent by any stretch of the imagination.  in fact, he legitimately made the avengers look like a band of boy scouts.  tossing him behind bars would solve two of his problems.

USER :// @until-ash-kingdom​ INQUIRY :// “ this is turning into a lovely evening. “ public string { bite the hand that beat you } ; accepting

          angel grove was turning out to be a more interesting assignment than steve originally thought.  the initial perks had been to spend some time living with both bucky and tony.  his best friend and his boyfriend under one roof?  sign him up.  at the same time, steve knew fury was up to something.  there’d been reports of some kind of superhero group called the power rangers showing up to fight an inordinate amount of monsters.  ‘ check it out ‘ could mean a number of things to an organization like shield.  that was a little too far into the future, though.  the soldier couldn’t see that far ahead because of all the variables that came into play.

                               so, he’d try to enjoy himself as much as he could while also paying attention to the parameters of the mission.

          bright blue eyes drift up toward kelly.  she happened to be one of people he’d managed to befriend in his new class.  there was something odd yet adorable happening between her and bucky.  he was torn on that.  on the one hand, steve wanted his best friend to be happy.  after everything he’d been through in such a short amount of time he deserved to be happy.  on the other, there was a lot of trauma to unpack.  

SUBJECT: “ i rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony “ FILE: various starters / accepting

           seeing a bottle on the table should’ve been the first sign but as bucky started walking deeper into their apartment he knows there’s something else at work.  dark eyebrows pinch together.  calmly, he tosses the keys to his harley onto the shelf near the front door.  a soft click accompanies the twist of the deadbolt.  all through his slow and 

deliberate motions the biker tries to recall anything that might’ve upset his lover.  tony hadn’t said anything.  neither had steve.  to bucky’s knowledge there weren’t any pressing concerns or proverbial axes hanging over their head, meaning this wasn’t club related.

          “ i’d like to think i’m a better ear than the bottom of a bottle, “ he says softly.  there was humorous intention somewhere in those words but bucky’s not sure it translated as he intended.

         black combat boots are kicked off near the coffee table, which is his last stop before finally joining kelly.  when he plops down into the wooden chair there’s a strained creak.  the noise repeats itself several times over as he leans forward.  metal fingers curve, pushing several dark strands away from his girlfriend’s eyes.

          a kiss is pressed to the curve of her shoulder.  he knows from personal experience that it’s not as easy as simply stopping.  his own trauma cultivated a number of habits that others told him to simply ‘ stop. ‘  it wasn’t that easy.  

                                                 if only life were that easy.

          several years later, nick fury approached him again for the very same mission.  they needed another man on the inside for whatever reason.  honestly, barnes was surprised steve hadn’t been able to take the organization down in the span of time he’d been there.  rogers had been incredibly passionate about what the avengers were doing to the local community.  children were endangered.  local businesses were getting bullied out of their hard earned money.  neighboring cities were under just as much threat as tensions between all the clubs ebbed and flowed with the treaties.

          “ i got it, buck, “ was all barnes was able to get in a quick phone call to his best friend.  the tone alone was much different than that of the steve he’d known before going deep cover.  then again, their contact had been minimal since everything started.  “ whatever fury says don’t let him scare you into this. “  and that was the flag he needed to sign on board faster than he’d ever done anything in his life.  fight had been replaced by what sounded dangerously close to complacency.  steve had to be in trouble.  that was the only plausible explanation.

                            at least, until bucky arrived.

          driving with tony and steve showed bucky several things.  first, that there was some weird tension between the two.  he caught a number of stolen looks between the them in the short time they spent in the car.  second, that tony was much more charismatic and family-oriented than anticipated.  their first stop was to a tattoo parlor owned and operated by the vice president, one kelly oliver.  only, her title was ‘ sister ‘ more than it was ‘ vp. ‘  that alone was an interesting tell in the dynamic.

          bucky was clad in something simple.  a heather grey hoodie covered a simple white tee.  his worn levis had several holes along the knees, white pumas were barely visible beneath the denim, and black leather gloves covered both hands.  those were less about fitting in and more about hiding his one metal hand.  he had no idea if steve mentioned it to tony or not and he’d rather not have to spend his first day explaining the story several hundred times over.

SUBJECT:  [caught] for soft kelly/bucky FILE: @until-ash-kingdom / accepting

           bucky had always known and appreciated the meaning of family.  his father put a lot of emphasis on their unit even if he didn’t always have the best ways of expressing it.  as a military man a lot of things came out as barks or orders; things a younger version of himself had a hard time understanding as love.  but, after the accident that took his father’s life bucky was able to reflect.  he and his sister rebecca got closer.  a lot closer.  even while in the army bucky did his best to call his mother at every opportunity.

              being undercover was difficult for both of them.  he’d been prohibited from contacting any of his family unless it was through his handler, nick fury.  it was like talking to his mother through a game of telephone.  he’d send a verbal message only to wait for something to come back.  they had to take every opportunity to cut trails to his old life, just in case.

           one such message had just been given to him.  funny how something so simple could throw his whole day off.  a simple ‘ i love you, ‘ nick said.  ‘ please come home safe. ‘

          the ex-soldier had to laugh at that.  being throat deep in the avengers wasn’t safe by any stretch of the imagination.  he could get killed by a deal gone wrong or, worse, he could get caught.  every day with his head still attached had been a blessing.  but, his mother didn’t need to know that.  in fact, winifred barnes didn’t even know her son was still in the country.  all she’d been told was that he was participating in a secret mission for his country.

           “ what are we doing, steve? “  barnes mumbles to himself before finally opening the front door to the apartment.  from what he’d been told it was registered under his alias of james proctor.  he’d been telling everyone that the nickname of bucky was something he picked up in the army, not that it had to do with a middle name.  so many lies in so little time.  every day he worried  one would come to bite him in the ass.  the key was to keep them as close to the truth as possible.  proctor was his brother-in-law’s last name.  easy to remember that.  bucky needed to be kept because no one thought steve could drop the habit.  

                                 one lie on top of another until barnes had no idea what was up and what was down.

          a breath is held in that fraction of a second it takes to walk through the threshold and close the door behind him.  before turning he lets it out slowly.  eyes widen at the sight that greets him when he turns around.  kelly oliver wearing one of his club shirts and it looked like it belonged there.  bucky could feel his eyebrows starting to knit together because even though this was only the second time she’d slept over he would swear on his life that they’d been doing this for decades.  the way she molded not only against his skin but in his life was absolutely uncanny.