kind of lame that graffiti is considered vandalism, while advertisements being forcefully beamed into my eyes via every inch of visible wall, road, and social media feed isn’t

if someone is making an effort to lose you, let them.

if I found out I was prophesied to kill my father, fuck my mother, and bring a curse upon my city, I would simply move to a different city and leave my parents behind to avoid it.

by zeus this can’t be happening

september was practice… in october I’m getting my shit together

in november I'm getting my shit together

in december I’m getting my shit together

when u look at 2017 and think “oh that’s only like 3 years ago” and it’s actually 12,000 years ago and everything is gone and everyone you know has been reduced to ash and the world is completely different

my favorite pastime is ruining my sleep schedule for more alone time

“what’s stopping you from-“ listen i am so so sleepy

and like. broke

i do feel somewhat ruined forever. but it’s okay we stay silly

Stop volunteering to be the village sacrifice we all know you're not a virgin. The dragon probably wouldn't even be into you.

Untie yourself from that altar right now.

Look. I didn't want to say anything because it's kind of a touchy subject, but the dragon doesn't actually take these "brides" back to its lair full of riches and add them to a harem. Okay? It's a big fucking lizard with a brain the size of an orange, it just roasts and eats them.

That's why we always pick the most useless airhead to sacrifice come harvest season.

Now come on, get those chains off. Where did you even get these? Oh you made them? See that's the kind of craftsmanship the village needs you for. We'll have a big orgy after the ritual and if you want a bunch of us will dress up as dragons and take turns having a go at you. It'll be nice, you'll see.

Yes, yes, I know, not the same. Well not all dreams are attainable, in the end.

LOL but seriously release the hounds

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

don’t listen to what anyone says the elephant really ties the room together

silly girl, you almost forgot that you're the sun.