This blog is meant to chronicle our journey as a questioning system and to visually show our experiences in a way that validates ourselves and others. We hope that we have as many different types of systems and people see our content, especially questioning systems like us
We are a monoconscious system discovering new things every day. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish alters, but posting every day has given all alters a voice.
We have about 20 alters now, and listing them all out here seems a little pointless
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the attractions you have are inherently genuine and honest, including when they are not shared collectively among your system. it's a normal way for attraction to occur when one is plural, even if some may struggle to understand it. your specific orientation is important, even if no one else within your specific system shares it. your existence as a headmate inherently makes your orientation be enough to count.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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does. anyoje else constantly feel like theyโre faking being a system subconsciously somehow. and liek when they find out whoโs frontinf theyโre like โi bet thatโs who i WANTED to be fronting right now because iโm an evil fakerโ or is that just us
making comics is lowk hard because we have No internal communication and we r barely distinct enough to even tell whoโs fronting most of the time and also mostly monoconcious . sometimes i feel like iโm misleading people when i draw us interacting sighhh
- when you have a seperate sense of self and plurality, or a seperate system that fronts online vs. offline! (for example i have a system that fronts irl, which is my polymind, and a system that fronts online, which is my cybersystem)
Cybersystem or Cybergenic
- when your system or plurality exists solely online
So often we'll start talking about smth that happened that whoever is fronting at the time has no recollection of and it's like. who is up here who is saying this
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Dear system members, does anyone else have, or is anyone else a headmate that makes the body feel physically ill when they are near or about to enter front? If so, why do you think that happens?
This question is for all plural systems, regarding the body feeling ill from certain sysmembers.
Yes, yes we do. Cyra has this manic energy to her that's fueled by anxiety, and it makes us nauseous when she's fronting. You kinda get this urge to cackle, cry, and throw up all at the same time and it's really disorienting.
A visual aid I made for how we experience amnesia as a system, because I haven't seen anyone else who describes it the same way we do.
Further explanations under the cut
In this instance, the bar in total represents about a week, with the week split up into different alters depending on which one is fronting at the time, coordinated to a colour.
I can remember what happened while I was fronting, alongside snippets of what other alters did (though I know that's not me who was doing them) and I honestly can't really place them at times other than "when I was not fronting"
And how I experience it doesn't make me feel as though time has passed. If not for context clues, I likely wouldn't know this wasn't just like falling asleep and waking up the next day with no reason to question the time or date. I just experienced a "blip" of unconsciousness with a few memories scattered in there, and now I'm back.
So, to put it simply, I'm aware that there was time that did pass while I was not fronting but have no idea how much time did pass while that happened, only that others have done things while I was away. We measure our amnesia less in specific timeframes ("remembering three tuesdays in a row" is something that none of us would be able to confirm, because it all registers as the same tuesday irrespective) and are still aware that there is time that is passing (in contrast to complete amnesia and being in shock that things have moved or changed) but the *amount* of time that passed is completely unknown, alongside the details of what actually occured
For us, it falls into the most literal interpretation of "blacking out"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I am not even the scarys ghost I am the cartoon ghost. very friendly? yes!!
I have flowy robes and blue skin BUT no body! I only looks as if have it if you are see me ๐๏ธ Very hard ๐โโ๏ธ See me = big cool ! Very congrat!!
Ghost in human is hard, possession is tire ๐ช see me is very tire ๐ด๐ด I like stay in room and be loud !!!
Thank you for reading, now you know about the Polaris!
I thought I would provide a translation just in case you can't understand zem -Fawn
Hello, I want to tell you all something!
My name is Polaris, and I'm a ghost!!!
I'm not a scary ghost, don't worry, I'm a friendly cartoon ghost.
Please envision me having white flowing robes and blue skin, but remember that you can't see me usually!
Fronting is exhausting, especially because people see me, and being seen is very exhausting. I like to stay in our room and have loud fun when I front!!!