wild heart.

As Talan approached the bathroom in swift steps, expression ridden with concern and ready to provide any additional help as he had earlier, her actual answer had his arms falling to his sides. After knowing Sawyer for years now, he’d became apt at reading her features, sensing when she was telling the truth or not in situations such as these. And right now, something was glaringly telling him that it was the latter. “Uh…ok…let me pick it up, ok?” He decided to state, glancing around every which way for the makeup item that had supposedly fallen to the ground. After all, he did tell her to stay in bed and rest for the day. “Were you thinking of going somewhere? Are you feeling better?” Talan continued to gauge. Nothing on the ground that he could see. “I brought you some medicine, you know, in case you’re not..” 

       “No, don’t—” Panic ensued; she just needed a moment to think, a moment to process the fact that she... was pregnant. Anxiety settled in to her very bones, wondering how in the hell she was supposed to keep this to herself. She’d been careful, they’d always been careful — how did this happen? Was it such a bad thing? Why was she panicking? Would Talan be happy? Would that happiness make her panic because.. the first feeling she felt wasn’t happiness? Was she happy? A million and one questions and thoughts flooded her mind, barely able to be conscious of time, or any questions Talan was asking.. “In case I’m not what?” She questions in frustration, her feelings now coming to a forefront. “Not well? Throwing up? You want to know why I’m not feeling well? Because of you! Because I’m pregnant!” Though her features expressed nothing but panic and upset, she started to laugh, tears welling in her eyes, unsure of any emotion coursing through her now. “I’m pregnant! Talan, I’m... I’m pregnant!” 

                       He reads her frustrations, nearly matching it with his own until he can’t help but be transfixed on her views of that nights. He falters, unable to focus on anything else. “What kind of guy do you take me for, Indi?” he croaks out, heartbroken. Was her view of him that skewed? Did she not know him at all? Or was him, pretending to be someone else, just that good of a facade that he fooled… even her? Silas hesitates, knowing it was the latter. He didn’t even know himself. “I’ve known you… my entire life. Nothing about you has ever… even crossed my mind to be a ‘one-time thing’. Even when I didn’t know I loved you, you were there. When we ‘hated’ each other… when we had other people, and now,” he pauses, taking a breath. “…You’ll never be a ‘one-time thing’ for me.” 

There was shrilling scream, nagging at him from the soles of his feet to run. In the thick of it, he thought about it. He thought about leaving New Orleans just because he feared rejection. Silas didn’t even know he feared rejection up until now, but at this point, what more did he have to lose? He had everything to gain, didn’t he? “I run away because I know you’re too good for me. I avoid the topic because I don’t want you to see who I really am. But you make me wanna be better– so I’m asking, regardless of who did what on New Years, or what I did or didn’t do at the wedding…” He faces her, barricades down, vulnerable. “Will this be a losing game for me?” He searches her eyes, feeling his palms begin to sweat.  “Am I good enough?”

        Tears prickled at the backs of Indiana’s eyes unwillingly, simultaneously as frustrated with herself for making such assumptions as she was still mad at Silas for his mixed messages. Her heart admittedly jolts as he questions her, wondering if she went too far in thinking that way, in thinking he owed her any more than he’d given her. Pressing her lips together, she remains silent as he continues, giving him the time to explain so she can understand. Time so that she could steady the erratic beat of her heart and cloudiness of her mind as she zones in on his lips as he speaks, soaking in the waves of vulnerability in Silas’s crystal hues she’d only seen in fleeting moments before this night. You’ll never be a one-time thing for me.. the words ring in her mind over and over, layers of confusion between them unfolding, the walls they’d built finally crumbling. By now, her lips had parted, but not for a will to speak, merely because breathing became a little more difficult despite the clarity that airs between them. 

        Confusion suddenly becomes a factor — He thinks he’s not.. good enough for me? Everything started to make sense, the tug and pull between them over this last year. Their constant attempts at advances and the inevitable pulling back. Silas’ fear explained his behaviour, his hesitance towards her. The blurred lines, the constant ambiguity between them. The what ifs. “Silas—why would you ever think you’re not good enough for me?” The question is absurd to her, if not for the fact that she knew she was no angel, and definitely not one to put on a pedestal. But he... he was so multifaceted and talented and wonderful in every sense of the word. Enigmatic. Heart wrenchingly gorgeous and endearing in the not-so-obvious ways. He made her heart soar at the mere sight of him, in his mere presence. Even now, with the magnetic air between them near weakening her at the knees. She takes a step towards him, somewhat for good measure but mostly because the distance between them was proving to be increasingly difficult to endure. 

       “I see you, Silas. I see your creative mind. I see your compassion, despite the fact that you do your best not to show it. I see the way you battle yourself internally over the choices you make. I see the way you wear strength after all you’ve been through, after everything you’ve seen and experienced. And I see that despite your relationship with your parents, you treat my mother better than most would their own. I see the way you show patience whenever my sister or I would.. would give you a hard time. You’d put up with it without saying a word. I see how good of a friend you are to those around you. How you decide yellow is your favourite colour based on a guess. I see.. the way you look at me; the way you care about me. I see you, and..” Somehow, she’d neared him enough during her speel that she could witness the rise and fall of his chest, the breaths that fell from his lips. Her hands were clammy with impending truth, suddenly very aware of her vulnerability as her eyes locked with his own. As if to confirm the undeniable question hanging in the air, Indi decides to convey what truly lies in her heart, confidently and without a fragment of fear. “I want to be with you, Silas. Only you.” 

To say that Talan was living his best life lately was honestly an understatement. He’d never been happier. His job at the shop had only been gaining even further exposure under his management and his relationship with Sawyer had only grew more and more strong since taking a major step in living together. And of course she was killing it on ensuring New Orleans streets remained safe for everyone. His feet only picked up the pace as they normally had after a day at work, knowing she’d be there to come to. No other feeling throughout his life amounted to this, no doubt in his mind that Sawyer was it, she was his future, there would be a ring on her finger in time. Also the fact that he knew his girl had been under the weather on and off over the past week or so.

Swinging the shopping bag containing some aspirin that he picked up to one side, Talan proceeded to grab his keys and open up the door to their place. Never got old. Though the serene though instantly got interrupted by Sawyer’s distressed shout. The plastic bag dropped to the ground and Talan began darting without thought, swinging the door harshly shut behind him. Following her voice, he halted right outside the bathroom, worry ridding his own expression. “Babe? What? What? What is it?” Talan urgently asked, kneeling down beside her.

         How?! She’d been so careful.. she’d always been careful, having made it a habit since the get go. The prospect of pregnancy, a child, being a mother.. all concepts she’d never mulled over for too long ‘cause she knew what she wanted to do with her life. After her shitty childhood, the brunette swore she wouldn’t bring a child into the world to suffer the way she did, with shitty parents.. after all, how far could the apple fall from the tree? Her heart was pounding so fervently in her ears, she almost didn’t hear Talan enter, the hand holding an object quickly flying behind her back instinctively, almost like a reflex. A look of terror remained on her face regardless — that, she couldn’t do much with the time she had. “Uhh.. well, uhh.. I almost.. dropped my eyeshadow palette..” Why did that statement sound more like a question than she intended? Nice save, idiot.

If Andy had only berated him for a death the Jesters caused, Cal would have every ounce of disbelief remaining raging through him. At the same time, there was still unnervingly a prominent part of him that no matter when they would run into another, he still liked seeing her. Even after everything and what could certainly never be again. And the fact that this was about a close friend, quite possibly the last link of their years-ago destroyed marriage, Cal wanted to help, how this happened right under them.  “Alright. Done deal then.” Cal nodded, her mesmerizing gaze still resonating a genuine one to him that he couldn’t forget. “— Do you still have my number?” He found himself asking more out of mere curiosity.

        Andy looked over at Cal with something of nostalgia, her features conveying a little heartbreak, disappointment, longing that had never quite ceased.. she wasn’t sure. In so many ways, Cal was a new man.. shown clearly in the years that had fallen between them, igniting a level of distance between who he was now and the man she knew. Yet, in his eyes, she could see him, fragments of the boy she once fell in love with and still, in many ways, was in love with. A teasing smile crossed her features, if only for a fleeting moment. “How else did I get you out here today..?”

Tanner had waited years to finally confess even an ounce of his all en-compassing feelings towards Natalia. Hell, he loved her since they first began play time as kids, how she easily became more and more strikingly beautiful as their years in high school came and went, to how she eventually became a perfect mother he knew she always would be, him considering himself the lucky one to essentially be another member of the solid family her and her daughter established between themselves. And all up to now, where he’d selfishly let his relationship that had run its course only continue for the mere fact of waiting until maybe he’d get a chance if Natalia ended up not being with anyone. Now that this apparent moment had come, of course he only screwed it up, only likely losing her, his very best friend, for good. The only thing Tanner could think of at the moment was to leave, and let her be. Without him. It’d be for the best without making a mess, a further confusion she didn’t need. Or Noah. Though before he could inch forward any at all, her words rang through his mind. It does matter. Did it? “How?” Tanner questioned more so in frustration at himself, yet his heard surely halting a moments in baited breath. “How can it matter when I just ruined it all?…I understand if you don’t feel the same, if you never did or will…” He shook his head, though he couldn’t help picking it up when Natalia’s soft touch gently moved his hands away, getting their gazes to meet once again. God could he never deny those eyes, and paired with the words she uttered that followed? Maybe…just maybe everything wasn’t all lost. She didn’t want him to leave. “You don’t?” Glancing down at her hand soothing his wrist, his chest heaved in preparation. “Nat, I — I never really wanted to leave. But I..guess…I was holding on to something at that point that just wasn’t going to be there anymore in case you were seeing someone else! It’s selfish but..” He trailed.  It was the truth. Going through the motions only to try and force himself to find some semblance of happiness elsewhere as he always had, to try and do his best to move on from the fact that he and Natalia likely wouldn’t be an option. Tanner had reached a breaking point to know whether or not he’d only ever be a ‘best friend’ to her. “If I did or didn’t marry her…I just I had to know before , Nat…if there was, could be any possibility of ..us..” He’d already dug his hole this far in. Now he had to lie in it, prepare for the very worst of receiving denial, despite what she genuinely felt in return. If that was really it for them altogether.

         Trying to hold back inevitable tears, Natalia twisted her features in attempt to keep them at bay. But she knew exactly what was coming, she knew that there was a weighted risk, but there was no choice now. Their friendship had already crossed boundaries they never should’ve gone near. Always fearing losing him, Natalia had hidden her feelings from everyone, including herself. But now, she had no choice but to either tell him the truth, or lose him anyway. And yet, a part of her felt terrified she would unveil her true feelings and then.. lose her greatest rock. Her best friend. The guy who had fathered her daughter better than the one Noah shared DNA with. The man she needed, the man she loved so unequivocally. There was no choice but to take a chance, for she was to fall either way. 

        The brunette merely shook her head as he spoke, brown hues filling with tears as she fought with herself over just spilling her true feelings right then and there. “Tanner, Tanner.. listen to me,” blinking away the tears that struggled to keep at bay, she took his wrists in her own and searched his eyes — whatever he managed to show her anyhow. Her heart was pounding so prominently, she feared it might fly out of her chest. This is what their thirty or so year friendship came down to.. the heart. “Tanner, I love you.” And somehow it was easy to say it.. as though she’d been yearning her entire life. Why hadn’t she tried it before? “I’ve always loved you. From that very first day in the sand pit.. through high school when you hung out with me even though I was ridden with pimples and fears about the future.. through every heart break and challenge, you’ve been there. And with Noah,” the brunette paused, her voice breaking at the mere thought of how he’d treated both her and her daughter. “You’ve treated her like your very own from the get go. You’ve shown us more love than we’ve ever gotten from anyone else.. every single day you’ve ever stood by me and been there for me, I have loved you. Even when I didn’t know it, I did. I should’ve known when I saw you with her, with anyone.. those feelings of jealousy. They weren’t there because I was having to share my best friend with someone else. They were there because.. because the man who held my heart didn’t even know it, and I couldn’t admit it to myself. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I never knew if you felt the same. So I was scared. I was terrified of losing you. But I’m admitting it now.. and I feel kind of stupid if you don’t feel the same and I don’t.. I don’t know where to go from here but I do, I love you.” 

                   He almost regretted it. Everything was out in the open now- well, most of it was. It was a lame declaration of his true feelings, but a declaration nonetheless. He panicked but desperately made a messy attempt to collect himself after she brushed passed him, following after her. He shut the door behind him, the loud sound triggering his anxiety. “You–” he scoffed, shaking his head, taking a step forward. “You fucking kissed Noah! What’s the fucking difference!” He yelled, quickly to pull himself back in. Adeline was still inside, though, Silas had no doubt she wasn’t clueless to the situation going on between him and her daughter. “Look– I’m… I’m talking about Luke, not Juliet. This has nothing to do with her. It was a New Years kiss… nothing more.” He looks off to the side, stepping left and right, feeling restless. “Besides, I told you I wanted to kiss you at that wedding in December. I remember that night, Indi. So don’t tell me you had no idea there was something going on between us. That, I ‘never made it known’.” He realizes how shaky his voice had gotten, a part of him nearly falling apart, recalling that night. He shudders, wondering if it meant anything at all to her like it did to him. 

          The last thing she needed was for her mom to witness their whole exchange; and the fresh air did something to soothe the tension she felt in every part of her core as she focused on deep breaths and the shedding of light between them — which was harder to deal with than expected. The truth about their feelings and about all things misconstrued. “He kissed me! That’s the difference!” She knew she was acting completely childish — love could certainly send someone mad. “Well, I—” Indi paused, Silas’ mention of that night igniting fire within her very core, and a flush across her cheeks. “I wanted you to kiss me, but you didn’t because your friends came over and.. and you just didn’t. How was I to know it wasn’t a one time thing?!” Arms folded across her chest, an expression surely conveying her inner frustrations, and words spilling from her lips she could no longer control — she was a mess. “And let’s not forget when on my birthday I left my own party to.. to find you and ask for an explanation on what was going on between us and I never got one!” 

   @teewrites based on this plot

             Shaking her head, Grace steps onto the pavement, phone attached to her ear. “They’re already flooding the place, Doug. Didn’t I say to come around in 30?” She sighs, their driver, going on and on with excuses. She notes the various paps on standby across the street, as well as a few situated in their cars, just waiting for Asher to exit the building. “Just get here, okay? I don’t wanna resort to hailing a cab, especially on a Friday. He’s not even supposed to be in New York right now and–” she rolls her eyes, exhaling another pensive sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Regardless, I’m either hailing or calling for a Lyft in 15 if you’re not here.” She turns around, walking back up the steps. “And if that happens, consider your job as Asher King’s driver hanging by a thread… or worse.”

         Cigarette hanging halfheartedly from the corner of his lips, Asher couldn’t help but pause the lighter to zone in on someone in particular’s conversation. It most certainly distracted him from the near disaster that occurred that evening with his voice breaking — laryngitis could very well fuck off. He was mid-tour right now; losing his voice was not an option. Smirking now however, he couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped, nor the amusement in his eyes, as she hung up on the counterpart to her conversation. Watching her for a moment or two in silence as he visibly relaxed against the wall, Asher finally cleared his throat in attempt to make himself known.  “Wow,” he murmurs whilst lighting his cigarette, crystalline hues finally landing upon Grace once more as he draws his first breath. “I’d hate to be poor old Doug right now.” 

This was more than likely the worst possible time he could have attempted to express pent up-years long feelings for Natalia. And Tanner just had a glaring hunch that he’d regret this for as long as he lived. He probably just lost her. He lost their friendship. The wide-eyed expression of shock ridden upon those gorgeous features was more than enough of an answer for him. Of course this was how it would turn out. Natalia would never and had never felt anything, no potential at all between them. What the hell did he expect? And yet even with all their other relationships growing up, Tanner had to be the foolish one that even though he took the “best friend” title seriously, he still somehow held out for one day maybe, just maybe, she’d look at him in a different way. It was a stupid risk to take. No amount of humiliation could match this very moment. Better to just get the ring off her finger so she could leave and never have to see him again.

Tanner merely shook his head through a scoffed laugh at himself. What in the actual hell had he just done? How could he really continue life without her when she had always gone through it right by his side, and vice verse? And yet, her words did warrant an answer. “Nat — I…I didn’t propose yet! I..I was questioning all of it, I was telling the truth when I said I didn’t want to leave here!” Leave you. His eyes anxiously conveyed. “I was working on ending it with her!” Tanner exclaimed, noticing the ring almost symbolically for the moment slide itself off of her finger, the tears welling within those deep eyes searing through his heaved chest. The last thing he wanted ever was to see her cry. By his doing of all things. “Yes! I have, but it doesn’t…it won’t ever matter will it?! Just forget it.” He huffed, burying his head in his hands.

         It wasn’t that she never knew her feelings for Tanner over the years, it was just that she’d tried to bury them a million times over. After all, how could she not absolutely love him for everything he was? For the way he treated her daughter like she was his own, for the fact that he’d undoubtedly been there for every single school play or every time Noah fell off of her bike or every time she faced a bully. For the times he’d cooked them dinner and taken them to festivals and water parks and undoubtedly been a better father than Noah’s own ever was. How could she not love him for the way he was there for her thought everything, through her father’s death with a shoulder to cry on, through her divorce with countless bottles of wine and company. Or the way a certain green feeling seeped into her very core every time that obnoxious blond threw herself all over him. How could she not, with the heart that he had and those ocean blues and.. just for the way her heart skipped a beat every time she’d laid eyes on him over the span of their friendship. 

         Nat’s brown eyes filled with tears as she locked onto his gaze, tears streaming down her cheeks uncontrollably as she found herself lost in his words. He was.. going to end it? He didn’t want to leave. Tanner didn’t want to leave. A small wisp of relief soothed her soul as she watched him quietly. Her lack of breathing became apparent when she took in a lengthy sigh, eyes filled with emotions she couldn’t even comprehend — but one overpowered everything. Guilt. Guilt over the way she’d made him feel now as he cowered into his own hands, knowing he’d bared a little of the inner workings of his heart. And here she was, making her own best friend feel ashamed? “It does.. it does matter.” Natalia was teetering on the edge of disaster, she knew she was. She wasn’t one to break up another couple for her own benefit; the likes of that was reserved for her ex husband. But the way she felt right now, in this very moment, overpowered any logical or rational thought as she captured his wrist gently in her own, moving his hand slowly away from his face. She was about to expose her own heart in just a few words, hoping he would catch on with such desperation in her eyes.. “I don’t want you to leave.” It was too late. Their ‘platonic’ friendship now seemed like a distant thought, a foreign memory.. instead, they were left with the possibilities and change, however it ended up. All she knew, was that she was in love with her best friend. “Don’t.. don’t leave, Tanner. Don’t marry her.”

I know you wouldn’t. It only took those four words coming from Andy for his stature to straighten once more, shoulders relaxing slightly. That’s all that mattered. Even after all this time, going their separate ways years ago, she still trusted him. He gave nod of appreciation, of acknowledgement while a slight hint of a momentary grin hinted at the corner of his lips at the notion. After all, delving for answers in this tragic situation meant a great deal to the both of them, potential attacks and side wars aside even. His own smirk didn’t falter at Andy’s following remark, they sure didn’t lose any of the abilities to meet up behind everyone’s backs. Some things never did change. “I know. I just…wanted to make sure you were still ok with that I guess.” They’d essentially be working together on this and it would mean seeing one another more than they had been over the past years, more than just run-in encounters that they took advantage of to speak to one another around the city.  “You know I’m in. I want to know what happened just as much as you do. I’ll scout around the Jesters and you’re going to do the same, right? We might want to set up different meet locations though, keep throwing them all off.”

        Andy was mad at herself for allowing memories to seep into her mind, for allowing feelings to get in the way of the matter at hand. Could she even really trust Cal? Her brain fought a hard no, but her heart, a small part of her heart knew that she could. Riccardo was their only mutual, and if not for her, she knew Cal would do it for him. Somehow, a part of her believed he was speaking the truth. What she didn’t believe, was that the Jesters were innocent, whether Cal would get on board or not. Each were loyal to their own.. or so they believed. “Of course I will,” the brunette nods, lowering her gaze as her still attractive ex-husband continues. “Well, you’ve got my number, so..” 

        Moving in together after two years of dating was a no brainer. Talan and Sawyer spent every waking moment together when they weren’t consumed in their own careers, and there wasn’t anyone she trusted more. Life was working out in the most unexpected way, knowing that somehow, she’d fallen in love with the French Quarter’s most eligible bachelor. But sometimes living with another presented it’s own challenges, like the fact that she’d been ill for the past few weeks. After much consideration, knowing that her nausea was on and off for some time now, she had to rule something out. And there just wasn’t a chance in hell it could be true, but her only options were to have a pregnancy test, or admit herself into the hospital for a deathly bug. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to put herself in the latter situation any time soon, knowing she hated hospitals. 

       Sawyer sat on the edge of the bathtub, awaiting a surefire impossibility. She faltered to register the sound of the front door to their apartment opening, her heartbeat pounding in her ear a surefire way to silence the outside world. That, and the fact that she’d never been more panicked in her entire life. “No... no, no, no, no!” Her chest was heaving, eyes zoned in on an answer she wasn’t ready for whatsoever. “NO!”

Talan was well aware that he’d taken a major risk at what he’d done, hopping on a bus from New Orleans to come find her on detective work. Sure, Sawyer had every right to turn him away, but that was the way Talan lived, his mantra. Why not take a chance? Especially from the fact that this cop had already made quite the major impression on his life so far, one that he didn’t want to see just fade away this time. She was intriguing in every way, in a way that he never known before. And now that she’d began to give him a chance by letting him stay around in Florida with her, it gave him the impression that maybe he’d made an impression on her in a similar manner. At least he certainly hoped and did want to prove, however Sawyer wanted to take it, his shot was one he wanted to go for. When Talan’s mind was set on anything, nothing would unyield him. His work at the shop was the only other time that truly occurred.

“Because a certain cop came in and rocked his world.” Talan instantly replied with a widened grin, though it formed into a moçk offended expression as she spoke of the drunken tat he’d given her. “But yeah, I know. I was right in that crossfire of you supposedly saying you wanted to have it removed. Kind of knew you were going to keep the ink though.” He teased, his eyes catching hers eagerly, that maybe, her words meant that he was growing her too. “You know it, that’s why I came here, to be with you. Can’t wait for a grand tour.” Talan instantly nodded in acceptance. “I guess I..uh..should put my bag down first though?”

       Sawyer wasn’t normally one for chances. She liked cold, hard facts and practicality and being objective. The unknown terrified her, mainly ‘cause it meant taking a chance could bite her in the ass, and she preferred to keep herself safe. But Talan threatened all that, he threatened the way she’d always thought her life and world would go. He threatened everything she’d ever thought about dating someone, being with someone. In running to Florida, the gaping hole that had formed knowing she’d left him behind and she missed him more than anything gave her a chance to think. And maybe that was her greatest curse — thinking. Over thinking, over analysing. Not succumbing to the desires of her heart. But with him standing before her now, running away was no longer an option, for she no longer had the strength. 

        She wanted to be with him. “Right,” amusement lit up the entirety of Sawyer’s features as she tugged him toward the door, quickly manoeuvring to slide his bag off of his shoulder, desperate to go on a Floridian adventure with the man who was slowly worming his way into her heart. “C’mon, smart ass. Let me show you around.”

As she rejected his attempt of comfort, Cal’s hand fell slack again, lips pursing together, glancing back outward to the spiraling desert. What was he even doing? Mere years ago, he’d know exactly what to do. He could provide Andy the comfort she was seeking, but now? Where to begin? How cold and distant their usual run-ins had been lately become a custom, resorting them back to their early days before falling for one another, it was mandatory after all. For both the sakes of their legacies, they’d have nothing to fall back on if they both ended up failing their families, their respective gangs, yet again. This sort of vulnerability they used to confide in, share between one another once marrying long ago had been left deep along and alone in the sprawling, ever-dissipating sands the moment they crossed those borders to make a pain-stricken return to Nevada. But then again, Cal couldn’t not appreciate his ex-wife coming all this way to come and tell him. Ricardo had essentially been the last, thin string left of their past relationship.

His eyes fell back towards the ground, his feet hastily kicking a bit, letting her grieve how she needed to. “ I was on a shift. I didn’t go, I heard of a hit going on, but that’s the honest truth, Andy. I wouldn’t — you know I wouldn’t. I didn’t know it’d be him…” Cal found himself swallowing hard, trying to find Andy’s gaze. They both wanted answers for Ricardo’s sake. “That means we’re going to have to keep meeting up you know..”

       Like a moth to a flame, if Andy stepped any closer, she could cave to muscle memory. To falling into his arms and allowing their love to consume her whole all over again. Strange how such experiences could leave such an imprint on her heart, enough for the mere memory of what used to be to have such a powerful effect over her. A magnetising one at that. But she wasn’t stupid about fickle things like love — at least, not anymore. “I know you wouldn’t,” she admitted, bitterness finally leaving her mouth as she, too, lowers her gaze. It doesn’t mean that turning down the past wasn’t painful. She wipes at her eyes roughly before taking a weighted breath, as though trying to get her shit together before meeting those sky blues once more. “It’s not like we haven’t pulled it off before..” she smirks, the slightest bit of amusement radiating from her core. “I just—I have to know who did it. I need to know why.. he didn’t—” She pauses, looking away as tears threaten like prickles at the backs of her eyes, determined not to let them show — at least, not again. After all, showing emotion was a sign of weakness. “We gotta know. Whether it’s your people or not.. he was our friend.” 

Amongst the bathroom suddenly heating beyond the running water from the sink, and that lingering, profound gaze of hers on him while near to no space remained between their frames, Tanner didn’t register what he’d exactly began to reveal after years and years of holding it in until Nataila questioned his words.It was a make or break. They surely couldn’t go back to the usual routine, with his mind running a mile a minute as to how to even start to attempt admitting how he felt. But no way did he want to just keep keeping it in and lose a possible chance again. Natalia did tell him recently that she was absolutely single after all. As long as he did lose her either way, that wasn’t something he could handle. It was a risk that apparently had to be taken, a question that Tanner finally wanted to acquire the answer of. Whether there might be feelings for him in her case too.

For so long of thinking this through, it all went out the window as this moment came. A lump instantly formed in his throat, yet insisting his eyes remained on her mesmerizing doe ones. “I mean..” Tanner began, a huff heaving from his chest. “I mean, that I’ve been there for you for so long, I don’t regret one second of it..and as your daughter came along, me helping you guys out, it only made me think about it more. Think about you more that maybe…I..we could finally have a chance too..” 

       There was absolutely no way that she was remotely sober and hearing the very word she thought she heard spilling from Tanner’s lips. No way. Not a chance. Had she misinterpreted? Was she so caught up in the ring situation, and admittedly the undeniable pull she felt words him and insane jealousy she felt towards his ‘girlfriend’ that.. she’d heard what she wanted to hear? As she peers up at him with parted lips, signifying the very shock she felt inside, Natalia couldn’t do anything but stare. Stare at the way his features softened with such candidness, such raw emotion, words simply failed her. Thoughts failed her. This was the moment she could bare it all — he’d left the perfect opening. Could she finally be honest with him, and with herself, about her feelings? Could she really make what she’d always wondered about a reality? This was her chance.

       And yet, nerves overcame her, spilling out a brief “What?” before turning away and breaking the hold of his gaze, focusing instead on tugging at the ring on her finger desperately. “Tanner, you’re.. you have a girlfriend. You—you’re about to get engaged if I can get this damn ring off of my finger.” The heat had risen to her cheeks, and for more reasons than one. Liquid had formed in her eyes, something like tears prickling at the backs of her eyes. Why was she crying? Why did she suddenly feel an onslaught of emotion, as though it were going to consume her whole?! Her heart was pounding in her chest like never before, barely filling the silence that fell between them as she dared to turn around and face him, the ring finally slipping off. But that was no longer her main concern. “Do you mean what you.. what you just said? You’ve thought about us?”

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