teddy🧸 @teddyissick - Tumblr Blog

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teddyissick

i lied i actually don't think i'm getting better.

teddyissick

SIKE i lied again we are so back

teddyissick

lied again babies!

teddyissick

LIED ONCE MORE WE'RE BACK!!!!!

teddyissick

we have never been more locked out

teddyissick

we are back baby. WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

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whennn will i learn that im fucking replaceable as FUCKKKKKK like i need to stop expecting anything else when nearly everyone in my life has proven to me that i was right and im replaceable

i have no one. like no one in this city. i’ve grown to hate it. i don’t feel like i have any friends anymore. they’re all drifting away from me. i hate it. i can’t do anything to stop it. i can literally feel her pull away from me. i can feel her replacing me w her and i can’t do anything because if she’d rather have her than im okay to take a step back because she makes her happier than i do and that’s okay.

i havent properly spoken to her in months and when i saw her she barely hugged me and didnt give me a second look. fuck you. i fucking loved you and i would’ve done anything for you. i stood on ten toes for you when no one else would. i’ve seen you at your fucking lowest and this is how you fucking pay me back. fuck you. i fucking hate you. please come back to me.

and you. you need to get the fuck out of your head and leave that evil man alone. genuinely get tf up because it’s getting embarrassing now. how are you so fragile to have your whole life become a void because a boy doesn’t want you in his life. get a fucking grip bitch.

and YOU. ask me a fucking question about myself. all you fucking so when we hang out is pull out your phone and take me through your photos and talk about you and your crazy happening life. I DONT CARE. i promise you i don’t care. stop living in your little bubble.

like yeah this is genuinely exactly what i fucking need right now no truly like i honestly feel like i have no one i can fucking talk to because i barely had any fucking friends to start with and all because of that fuckass boy who ruined my life in this city. i don’t feel especially close with a single person in my life and i can’t even start over. that’s it like i don’t know how to make more friends im just done here and this is going to be my life everytime i come back from uni. i come home and fester away in my room because people think im not worth shit.

i barely have any positive memories in this city anymore. everywhere i go im reminded of how it used to be and what it could’ve been like

and it’s not fair it’s not fair because no one else has had to deal with this the way i have. EVERYONE HAS FUCKED UP. EVERYONE. they’ve HURT multiple people and they’ve still been forgiven. but not me. WHY NOT ME. WHO HAVE I EVEN HURT. and i can’t talk to anyone about this because what the fuck are they gonna do about it? and they’d never fucking understand how i feel.

i’m actually just so fucking sick of these people and this city

i can’t believe all the love i have for this city has been poisoned to the point of no repair

i went out last night and EVERY SINGLE PERSON from aditi was there and god no one even spoke to me and the only fucking people that were nice to me were SO unexpected and like i don’t even know how to describe it and dev was there and he just acted like everything’s fine and chill and maahit didn’t even fucking look at me and hritik acted like he doesn’t know me and shanelle and ramdas kept fucking making faces at me like DO YOU THINK IM FUCKING STUPID HOW IS ANY OF THIS MY FUCKING FAULT ITS YOUR FAULT ALL OF YOU SUCK AND ALL OF YOU MADE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF EVERYBDAY FOR 3 YEARS AND IM THR FUCKING VILLAIN BEVAUSE IM NOT A CONFORMIST ONE DIMENSIONAL BITCH

and don’t even get me started on my family like i have to do EVERYTHING they ask of me at that moment but i they never wanna take part in anything i do. why do i have to go fucking play pickleball with you? why is painting not important? how is pickleball taking priority over something i’ve been doing for WEEKS and i fucking TOLD ALLNOF YOU i’m gonna be busy today

devansh you’re still as bratty as ever

navya if you mention that you do sports one more fucking time i swear im gonna break your legs

raghav if you don’t stop acting so fucking holier than thou

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i have a lot of regrets in this life but my inability to take disrespect might take the spotlight.

when i look around me, i realise i don’t have friends. i can count, on one hand, all the actual friends i have in this city. i have no fucking friends. why? because i valued myself too much to continuously take disrespect and disloyalty. but what if i was able to move on?

what if i have already moved on and im okay being friends with them again? i dont even know how to describe how completely and absolutely lonely i am. like everyone in my life have tons and tons of great friends and here i am with like 3 people to my name. and we’re not even a friend group; the “friend group” i have has issues of its own where one chick randomly decides she doesn’t like us anymore, the other is too wrapped up in her boy drama to care about anyone else. but they all have other friends. i don’t. i’d say they’re all i have but do i even have them anymore?

i’m so so so okay going back to the people that did me dirty, even if not to be besties w them again but so i stop feeling so fucking lonely. i don’t have that ridiculous urge to gain their approval anymore, so i don’t think that perhaps inviting them back into my life would be okay and wouldn’t affect me anymore.

got high last night got called out by mom and still feel balls high next morning

to my friend group

if you guys could all stop talking about general bodies and physiques and bmi and weight and food i would be eternally thankful thanks

ramsha if you could stop talking about how less you eat and how need to eat because you feel dizzy and that you’re off carbs to fit into your dress for winter ball and stop talking about bmi that would be great thanks

val if you could stop showing me photos of how big your tiddies used to be before you MANIFESTED them into being smaller knowing how much it pisses me off that would be great thanks

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Last night was the Winter Ball that everyone on campus had been talking about for the past few weeks. I was one of them, buzzing with excitement whenever it came up in conversation. That was, up until yesterday. The winter ball took up a lot of space in my mind, but that space began to slowly fill with poison. Excitement was replaced by fear. Anticipation with dread. Stress about how I would make it on time. Worries about how I’d look. Regret for being so excited about it in the first place. My friends and I began getting ready together at around 5:30 pm. While they enjoyed the music playing and shared laughs and their hopes for the night, I sat quietly in the corner, secretly praying for cosmic intervention that rendered me incapable of attending the function.

I trembled as I picked up my makeup brush. I stared at myself in the mirror passively, blaring Marina and the Diamonds in my AirPods. I kept trying to turn up the volume so I wouldnt have to hear my friends talk about things that triggered me: their weights, the way their body looked, how their dresses fit them, how they dont really know how to do makeup well. I did most of their hair and makeup, being the most experienced in this aspect out of all 4 of us. They thanked me profusely, apologised for taking time away from me to get ready myself. They went on and on about how lucky I am to know these things, but they never considered why I know so much about changing ones appearance.

My friends all have thick, cooperative hair, clear skin, good facial features, and bodies that look right on them. I had to learn how to do hair and makeup to distract from how acne-riddled my skin is, how I have an uncooperative cowlick, how my hair is thinning, curly and frizzy, how no dress ever seems to fit me just right. I thought about how unfair it was that I had to put in twice as much effort to look half as good as other girls my age.

I thought about how unfair it is that while the most beautiful girls stress about these inconsequential things, the boys get to throw on a suit and call it a day. I thought about how unfair it is that no one expects boys to look good, but the girls must always look like angels in human form. How unfair is it that girls get backlash for wearing “too much makeup” but also for not looking picture perfect 24/7. I watched the boys in my friend group laugh about how long us girls take to get ready without considering the societal expectations placed on us.

how i feel being the fattest fucking chud in my friend group

why why why is when there is an important function coming up i want to isolate myself to the point where no one on planet earth no longer has any memory of who i am yet at the same time i want everyone around me to hold me and just be there

whendidmythoughtsgocrazy

And if i'm meant to be alone, please take away my desire to be loved.

k.b. // unknown

kronos: percy jackson, son of poseidon!

percy: kronos, son of…

percy: a bitch

#percabeth #annabeth chase #pjo funny #pjo #riordanverse

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

why do i keep letting people walk all over me bruh. why do people always talk over me. why does no one want to listen to me. it’s so dehumanising to keep repeating the same few words only to realise i need to shut the fuck up and no one actually cares. like i swear guys i have insights too. i have thoughts and ideas and feelings and i want to share them. it’s not me to be quiet and it is not like me to just fade into the background. not anymore. i told myself it wouldn’t be like this in college, that my friends wouldn’t be like the ones i went to high school with. they’d love me and they’d want to hear me speak and they’d make fun of me but not at my expense. they’d laugh with me and not at me.

why does this happen bro i need to fucking lock in

genuinely why do i keep letting people walk over me. no like. what is wrong with me. why am i always the butt of the joke. surely it’s not that easy right. im not that pathetic.

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