information specialist

Way to be pulled away at the end of the world.

As though it were already more than enough that he had to navigate an entirely new place - but hey, at least the sky wasn’t covered in life fibers, right? - he had to find a way of tracking down the others.

Well, if one were fighting aliens, would it be so strange to be pulled between dimensions while trying to completely destroy a species of sentient clothing that manifested itself by fusing with someone who had proclaimed themself akin to a god at that point?

Who knew, really. And who cared. He had found at least one name, he recognized, and while concern for the others and Lady Satsuki broiled in his gut, he appeared next to the tailor and his uniform disappeared itself.

“Iori.”

“At least you’re here. Although whether here is death, or an interdimensional space coming about by the clashing of Life Fibers, or something beyond either of those two concepts is up in the air...” Trailing off, he looked at his phone, there was a message...

Iori Shirou’s phone would read much the same, if with a different tone.

[text to: Yuan] [text] i vaguely remember getting a text from you [text] but i was kind of self-pitying until i left too

“Back to basics, it seems...” He muttered, waving at Zal and Shirou as he walked toward the edge of the platform, aggravated expression hiding the immense relief he felt at the blond’s presence.

“Well, everything’s been dismantled, but nothing I haven’t started from scratch with before.” Leaning against the car, he waits for the conversation to end.

“I’ve been up to something interesting.”

“And I think you might be interested in helping. If only because the end-game of this is really screwing with people. I could use a hacking partner-in-crime. Literal, not metaphorical. At least, some of this is technically illegal, but aren’t we all just floating around in some metaphysical state of being that may or may not be fully confirmed as a work of our synapses firing rapidly while we sleep in some hyperbaric chamber.”

“...” Click click click.

“...” Click.

Normal working environment,  it was March now, and the Spring collection had been in the works for a while. It’s funny, how they always talked about ‘busy’ times of the year, but that was kind of all year in the fashion world. So now it was Spring into Summer, and then it’ll be Labor Day (was that a thing here? Someone had said something about it), and then the Fall collection, and then...

“...”

(Wait.)

“Shirou? We...Forgot to get married.”

“What the fuck!?”

That was fast. Really fast. And he was about to take out another… …but it seemed like this guy wasn’t a fighter. Perhaps that was a good thing, if he made it all the way down here so quickly and caught the knife in mid-air. Brown eyes watched like a hawk, and lips twitched into a frown at the smirk.

“…So all these people talking to me are right, then, if you have some whole… file on it.”

Ugh. Usually, he was the suave one with the upper hand, not the other way around. Begrudgingly, he took the blade by the hilt, putting it back in his pack, crossing his arms, and listened to what he had to say.

“You’re right. I have zero idea about what you’re on about. And while I’d like to know about whatever the hell I did months ago and who lead the belt, that file doesn’t look good. Usually I make it a point to have someone on the inside, so those things disappear.”

A open hand, motioning to give it to him.

“How’d you get it, Proto-twink.”

“That’s a new nickname.” The files were displayed on his visor anyway, and he handed them over, smirk on his face indicating that he was happy to do so. The stack was large, a lot of redacted information - but more than enough to indicate that whoever this had belonged to, they knew a lot about the Belt.

“They are. And I already know you don’t remember a thing.” A gesture to Lars’ person. “You’re not the same Lars van Allen in these files - not in terms of timeline divergence. You’re a different one, but since you’re up to the same thing, I imagine this is useful for you to know.”

“People don’t seem to realize there’s such a simple way to figure it out. You don’t have internet. With no standard error, it is statistically improbable that you lack internet access on your phone and are a returnee. I imagine we’d hear more complaints otherwise.” A shrug. “Alas, we all can’t be as smart and resourceful as I am. Consider yourself lucky,” tapping the stack of files, Lars would practically be able to feel the smug aura.

Well. With Dear Old Mom out of the picture and her fortune completely gone, he had to find a break somewhere. So with a hit in mind, uniform in tow, and cold pack safe in his belt, he ventured into the night–

Until the voice, and the unpleasant shudder that accompanied it, made him look up.

“–You know? Normally I like attention, but this is getting really old really quick. And I’m not in the mood tonight, hon.”

Nothing a few pocket knives couldn’t solve. Like the one he flipped out and threw toward the other, aiming for his head without any shred of mercy. And from there–he ran.

“We’ve decided to be difficult, then. Fine by me.” Disappearing, the knife clattered against the building briefly, but if Lars was listening, it didn’t hit the metal grate. The sound of metal on brick, but not the clang of metal on metal.

And besides, Lars wasn’t fast enough anyway.

Reappearing in front of him, Houka flipped the knife in the air, metal catching the faint glow of streetlights.

“You may want to hear what I have to say.”

“Your organization was disbanded a bit more than a month ago. But you weren’t the leader of it at the time. It prospered for a while when you weren’t here, but once there was nobody else, well, you know how weak-willed people can be.” A hand wave, and he caught the knife by the blade, moving to hand it over hilt first. A gesture, a challenge. It spoke volumes: You aren’t dangerous to me.

“Quite the lengthy report on you, you know. And yet much of it is redacted. Not that you would know anything about it.” A smile crossed his features, smug, smarmy.

He was in the alleyway out of sheer curiosity, for the sake of gathering knowledge. And, really, for the drama of it all. It would be amusing, at the very least, even if there wasn’t any information to be had. For the sake of this encounter, he even held a stack of papers in his hands, copies of a certain file.

Well, he did hope Zal never found out he’d acquired thee and how. Although he never pretended to be a good person even he could admit there was something particularly awful about bringing your friend coffee just so you can take data from her work computer. Well, okay, not just. He did enjoy her company, but...

This was far too interesting an opportunity to pass up.

“Lars van Allen, right?” Leaning on the railing of a fire escape, he looked down, appearing out of thin air (at least, to Lars) after he spoke. “Probably not the first stranger to name you immediately, hm?” Papers waved at him, a smirk plastered on his face.

“Asking to snoop around the study isn’t really worth a long lecture on magical theory, so I never bother to ask usually.”

Was she curious about Waver’s study and any magical knowledge he could have been asked about? Sure! But she also didn’t have all century to hear about it. Zal had other things to do. Like sneaking into graveyards at night for potion ingredients.

“Are you even paying attention to me? Uhg.” Having retrieved said hoverboard, Zal still hesitated to get going just yet. Annoying as he could be, she would still feel bad if she accidentally broke his geeky toy. Or his bones. As much as she threatened to break his arm on a monthly basis–

“Yes, I’m a witch. That doesn’t mean I’m above pushing papers. Must I remind you I also work as a clerk for your fiance–”

Helped him with ‘that’? What the hell was Houka talking about? Was it something he found in the study? Something he found poking around in her own brain? Oh yeah, he could do that couldn’t he? She should probably pick up the pace and head over there before he started searching in the basement too.

“Helped with what? Houka, I mean it, you better get out of there right now. Or you better be really good at pretending to be me if you get caught. Either way, we’re going to have a lengthy discussion on what is and isn’t okay to do while you’re stuck in my body!”

—-

Okay, she had to admit it: the hoverboard was really cool and she wanted one. But that was put on the back of her mind as she stormed right into Waver’s house, finding Houka lounging on the couch. It really was weird to see herself like this, but that didn’t stop her from grabbing Houka by the front of his (her?) shirt and shaking him a little.

“What did you do before I got here? Spill it, nerd. Or the hoverboard gets it.”

“That’s sad to hear. A lecture on anything is usually worth the information you gain on the person. Maybe we’re not as alike as I thought.” Coffee came out of the kitchen for him, with just the flourish of a finger. If he wasn’t so attached to being about a foot taller with much longer limbs, then he would have traded it for psychic powers.

The coffee was poured, set down on a coaster, cream and sugar. Honestly, he would have preferred tea, but whatever was made, really. 

“And in terms of skill needed to run the shop, you don’t hold a candle to my fiance. Clerical work in a clothing shop seems appropriate. Clerical work for a wizard or warlock or mage - whatever he calls himself - feels a bit different, don’t you think?” Really, he knew she didn’t mind. It wasn’t difficult to find the circumstances of her hiring. It was barely a hiring, simply an offer of company so she didn’t have to be alone.

Honestly, it was nice. But it didn’t mean there wasn’t intense nepotism involved. Although that seemed to be this guy’s M.O.

“Hooo? Does that mean there’s more than one incident in question? Now I feel the need to play my cards close to my chest.” With a small beep he hung up her phone, sipping the coffee and lounging on the couch.

--

At least, until he saw his body storm in and grabbed him (Zal?) by the front of her shirt. “Oh? I’m usually not this aggressive.”

“No need to worry. I walked in, couldn’t understand whatever made up fantasy nonsense he was studying, and left.” A lie, but her aggression told him to keep that close to his chest, too.

“Ha ha. You’re a real comedian, y’know that?”

Deep breaths, Zal.

“I’m coming over there right now so just tell me what your ride looks lik– What!?”

She almost dropped the phone upon hearing that. Not even five minutes in and he was already snooping around a stranger’s house! The urge to start yelling at him was great, but she refrained from raising her voice. At least until she got outside into the parking lot.

“Inumuta Houka you don’t just go looking through another mage’s study without permission! And I do not have permission to be in that room, so kindly remove my ass from it before I get there. Just… Go sit in the living room or something.”

Not like she expected him to listen to anything she had just said. He never did. Especially not when he could go snooping like he was now.

“You can’t even use magic, so it’s all meaningless nonsense to you.” That, and she wasn’t sure if Waver had family secrets he didn’t want seen in the study. Most magic users did. “Why can’t you just embarrass me like a normal friend in your position would?”

“That’s a little sad. You spend so much time around here, but you can’t come in?” The blackboard was flipped over, revealing an intricate series of notes on empathetic magic. She certainly was talking, but he wasn’t listening. As much as he was inclined to move further into this topic - apparently the rash of amnesia in Archimedes was caused by someone the mage here knew. And he was able to keep it under wraps because...

Well, that is certainly how law enforcement loves to play it, isn’t it? That’s why while he knew what had been happening at Honnouji was wrong, he also knew it was the same everywhere. A means to an end, and Lady Satsuki’s end was saving the world from a parasitic alien race.

This is simply covering for someone. It disgusted him.

“That’s because I’m not a normal friend in my position. The hoverboard should be nearby wherever I was. It goes fast, so be careful.” The blackboard was flipped back over to whatever position it had been in before.

It was not all nonsense to him, but that was information to be kept close to the chest.

“Aren’t you a witch? You really work for him in just a...What? Detective capacity? You do paperwork? I would have expected a little something more.” He knew it was more than that, and riffling around her memories he found the file he was looking for.

SOLLUX: ha ha. i’m laughing my ass 0ff as we speak.

[No you weren’t.]

[But despite the weird anatomy you were use to on yourself- it felt kind of strange… in a good way. You weren’t dealing with so much with yourself as before. You still think you aren’t the best human ever, but that was something you two seem to share, yet put up a front of being good with it. Though thinking about how you two handle your own situations is pretty different. It’s kind of like a refreshing start to see- an idea of how Houka actually thought, how he thinks, you can kind of grasp what is usually on his mind.]

[In a way.]

SOLLUX: well f0r y0u it may be b0ring, but f0r me, it isn’t s0 bad. i mean, we don’t have anything in common with 0ur anat0my.  SOLLUX: s0 it feels like y0u want t0 try and see whatever results y0u can get while y0u’re in my b0dy.

[Well don’t you dare think he won’t take advantage of that. You’ll do the same as well anyway.]

[Though the question lingers for a moment before you walk up to him. Looking down at yourself is really unsightly… but with what Houka thinks, he likes it.]

SOLLUX: it’s different. i d0n’t kn0w if i hate it 0r n0t. at least y0u d0n’t hear the inevitable d00m 0f 0thers ar0und y0u. i guess that’s n0thing t0 be w0rried ab0ut. SOLLUX: it’s… well, i miss being alive again. like fully alive.

[You sit down on the bed to express what you are feeling.]

SOLLUX: it just feels oddly satisfying. like a mini vacati0n fr0m my usual th0ughts. it’s n0t always nice where my mind w0nders t0.  SOLLUX: s0 y0u’ll at least understand it? maybe?

SOLLUX: anyways, i like feeling alive.

“Boring? Please.” A crooked grin far more suited to Inumuta’s own face appeared. As devious as Sollux could be, there was a certain level of snark that he himself typically did these days. Tilting to the side, he tapped the side of Sollux’s head, brow quirking as the grin spread even further.

“Did you not think about exactly what this means? Memories are stored in the brain you know. And brain formation is important in determining long-term personality and behavioral types. Communication stems here, and even now I’m sure there’s some kind of disassociation between how you would feel in your own body and how I would feel in mine. Honestly, despite my explaining this to you I feel apprehensive over the whole thing, whereas...”

Tapping his own chest, one eye flashed dangerously. The other remained as dead as it was before.

“While you should normally feel half-apprehensive about this at least, at the moment you’re probably pretty excited over the potential deep dive into my brain you can do, hm?”

Flopping down on the bed next to him, he looked over. “As it were, you’re right. While I could always attempt to sympathize with you, I couldn’t ever empathize with how you felt. How your life changed pretty much overnight. A flood of new memories.” A hand moved up to Sollux’s chest, staring at the ceiling with only half his vision.