Tea with Ki

TW: for both fictional and non fictional gun violence

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“Every stolen kiss in the dark riddled in shame, every kiss they shared in acceptance. Every ordinary, beautiful moment they had been privileged enough to live together choosing love and acceptance rather than continuing to hide in shame and humiliation so many still struggle with. Like the two men, Walter got to know.  

There are people who spent entire lifetimes convincing themselves they were someone else. Men who swallowed every feeling, dated women they didn't love, learned to laugh at the right jokes.  Men like Luke. Men like Nick. Men who had mistaken survival for living long before the dead ever walked.

What a blessing it is, to love. To love, Unashamed and Wholeheartedly. 

"All war is a symptom of man's failure as a thinking animal". Walter chuckled in his head, thinking of what he just told Clementine earlier. Yet, in the end nothing mattered but the look in Matthew’s eyes, love, and grief, and devotion in full display.

Carver raised the revolver and Walter never looked away from the man he loved. The gunshot cracked through the lodge, and Walter collapsed before the echo had faded.

“That’s for our man”

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honestly this was one of the hardest sections and chapters I’ve ever written. On July 13th, ICE shot an innocent man, Johan Sebastián Guerrero was shot in the face. Handcuffed while bleeding out the head, and left on hot asphalt for 6 hours while his daughter was in the car. To think this profound violence happened in my community has just been insane. I grew up in Los Angeles, I’ve been at major protests, and part of why I came to Maine was for how peaceful it is.

I can’t get my roommates face out of my head when she came back home, holding a birthday coffee for me. Staring blank and pale, apologizing that they didn’t have the coffee I wanted because that was all she could think about for a brief moment. I woke up annoyed because her dog wouldn’t stop barking. I thought her annoying ex boyfriend was outside. But it was gunshots that took a life that was upsetting her dog.

It was very surreal to get comfy in a chair and crack open my laptop to brainstorm ideas for Carver entering the story, when right now the street the real effects of gun violence are shown. I drive by the makeshift memorial everyday, the protestors who have set up permanent tents in our park. The local park that I use to organize music festivals for is now the site of continuous protests. My peaceful town is now lined with protest signs. It’s a surreal sight.

his blood is still on the street stained into the black asphalt. And like clockwork, everyday I drive over to get to work. I try my best to miss the hundreds of flowers that line the bloodstain. Not wanting to run over sunflowers, roses, daisies, and marigolds.

Just wanted to give a shoutout post to @neonvioletlight

The coolest most beautiful amazing wonderful stunning lovely amazing gorgeous beautiful artwork from @neonvioletlight. They did such a fantastic job omg omg omg

To her right, she heard Kenny and thankfully Clementine was with him- jump over the transformer they were hiding by. Moving closer so Kenny could get a better shot.

To her left, she heard Luke exclaim in the distance again. "Come on!" he shouted. A walker lunged and when he stepped back, Luke stumbled over a fallen log. His body slammed into the snow. For one terrifying second…Katriana watched in fear as he disappeared beneath reaching hands. Then he rolled free, scrambling back to his feet as his machete carved through the nearest walker's skull.

Ahead through a shattered window of the ski lodge, Kat caught another glimpse.

Nick still forced onto his knees in a neat line with Pete beside him and Sarah trembling on his other side. Carver's people stood over them with Ak-47s raised. Nick's face was hard and defiant, as he recognized exactly who was rounding them up. He stared at the red headed woman, Katriana had never seen before with pure hatred in his eyes. 

Pete's shoulders remained straight despite the gun at his back, just staring at Walter's cold body on the ground in front of him. Luke cried out again in the distance as he was backed up more into the forest. 

Nick couldn't move. Luke couldn’t stop moving.

Katriana’s feet felt like concrete as her heart pounded against her ribs. She needed to move. But to whom?

Luke...or Nick?

A trio is always difficult, when one gets left behind.

Check out the rest of the chapter here:

Incredible incredible artwork from @neonvioletlight

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Fingers tightened around the cold steel as Katriana climbed down the ski platform ladder. The cold metal burned against her palms. A single snowflake landed on the bridge of her nose before melting almost instantly.

Then another. And another. Within seconds, a gust of wind howled, leaving the scene before her feeling more chaotic than she thought possible. 

Another scream cut through the storm. To her right, Luke was leading a cluster of walkers away from where Kenny was stationed with his rifle in hand. The man who just an hour before, held her hands so tenderly, was now waving his arms frantically as a cluster of walkers staggered after him. He hacked wildly with his machete, barely staying ahead of snapping jaws.

"Come on!" he shouted. A walker lunged and when he stepped back, Luke stumbled over a fallen log. His body slammed into the snow. For one terrifying second…Katriana watched in fear as he disappeared beneath reaching hands. Then he rolled free, scrambling back to his feet as his machete carved through the nearest walker's skull.

Ahead through a shattered window of the ski lodge, Kat caught another heart stopping scene.

Nick being forced onto his knees in a neat line with Pete beside him and Sarah trembling on his other side. Carver's people stood over them with AKs raised. Nick's face was hard and defiant, as he recognized exactly who was rounding them up. He stared at a red headed woman Katriana had never seen before with pure hatred in his eyes. 

Pete's shoulders remained straight despite the gun at his back.

Luke cried out again in the distance as he was backed up more into the forest. 

Nick couldn't move. Luke couldn’t stop moving.

Katriana’s feet felt like concrete as her heart pounded against her ribs. She needed to move. But to whom?

Luke...

Or Nick?

A trio is always difficult, when one gets left behind.

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So completely unprompted, the guy im seeing, his mother told me she reads BTS omegaverse fanfiction…..woah ur like 60 mama but go off girl

so naturally I’m like “Okay girl I’m writing gay walking dead fanfic”

It was my birthday yesterday so she bought me Heated Rivalry

Would you guys be more interested in a fanfic that explores Luke and Nick further from In game events or moving to new locations and stories?

diving in heavy on their relationship through Howes, the escape, the lake, Kenny vs ?????, and the ending of season 2

OR

I have been really enjoying writing and often write lil things down in my notes app. This has brainstormed into a lot of scenarios that take place out of the canon Season 2 game. Examples include:

Cabin group survivors run into Negan and the Saviors???????

The group runs into a certain van driven by a certain famous baseball player??

Potentially finding a place to settle down???

Messy love triangle shizzzzz hehehe???

Today I woke up to my roommates dog excessively barking, so something was clearly wrong. As I got out of bed, my roommate came back home from getting me a birthday coffee with a blank expression. She then told me that on her walk to our favorite coffee shop, ICE just shot a man in the face right down the street of our little town.

We protest, we chant, we vote. But when will change actually happen?

I always struggle with my birthday because its another year older, and I spend another year mouring my dads, mourning them longer than I ever got to know them.

Today, a 3 year old girl was in the car when her father was senselessly killed in front of her.

That is going to be the last memory she has of her father. Shes going to be 4 and remember that. She will turn 18, graduate high school and remember that. She is going to turn 26, the age her dad was when he was murdered, and remember that. And one day, she'll be 27, older than her dad, and remember that.

Losing a parent never really goes away, and I cannot image the grief this family must be experiencing right now, to witness your loved one be taken from you in such a violent and senseless manner.

To learn that Joan Sebastain Guerrero was not the man ICE was even looking for. That he was in this country legally, with a social security number, that his last words were "I was trying to stop".

This is a disgusting act of violence brought on such a hardworking community. I love Biddeford, I love Maine, and nothing like this has happened in our community before. After they reopened the Pool & Hill street, I had to drive to work, and his blood is still. on. the. street.

His blood is still on the street.

I go to work, I tell customers oh its my birthday trying to get a higher tip percentage, and my tires drove over the blood of an innocent man to get here, sucking up to fat rich folks as a 3 year old girl in Bluey pjs just lost her father. I feel sick.

All this violence for what? Is America great now?

It would be an honor and a blessing if you could look into the work of Project Relief Maine, a non-profit that works with immigrants and provides emergency aid. Please, please keep Joan Sebastain Guerrero's family in your thoughts.

so I woke up this morning to 4 gunshots, my roomate was gone. She went to go get me a birthday coffee so she left at 7 am to walk to our coffee shop, then ran back crying.

ICE just shot a man in the face at 7 am on my street. They pulled him out of his car and laid him on the sidewalk.

I just watched the Biddeford Crime Scene Unit put up a tent as I get spammed with generic emails from various companies about my birthday giving me discounts on buying trivial bullshit, as a man-who we learned was given a social security number and a visa to work- was shot in the face.

hearing all the Heated Rivalry and Stranger Things tea that huge fanfics are actually AI is fucking crazy to me.

Writing fanfic has made me talk to myself while I drive to brainstorm dialogue between characters…. I’m fucking flirting with hot men at my day job (server) for tips and to get a feel for how men actually talk. It’s really colored up my life. Bringing that whimsy I need.

HEADCANON DROP:

Nick confessed again, “Maybe I don't want you with her. Because I know what it's like to kiss someone and pretend it's somebody else."

Luke's face crumpled somehow even more. Looking utterly defeated. 

"I've done that for years." Nick swallowed. "And it makes you hate yourself." His eyes dropped. "And I don't want that for her."

Luke shook his head quickly. "I wouldn't do that to her."

"I know."

Nick's voice softened. "That's why this hurts. Because I know you, Luke."

Luke looked away.

"You wanna save everybody. You wanna be the perfect man. You wanna be the guy who does the right thing. But sometimes the hardest thing to do is to be honest with yourself.”

He stepped closer. "So either you let me go..." Nick's voice shook. "...and you go be with her…..or you admit there's something here."

Luke's eyes filled.

"You don't get both."

The words hung between them. Luke looked down.

"Nick…when I look at you...It feels like something I'm gonna get punished for."

Nick stared at him and grabbed onto Luke’s hand, squeezing hard. Everything outside of this damn room disappeared. The shouts, the people, the shots....

"The church is dead, man..Let it go." Nick squeezed his hand firmer. "You'd have to stop the world to stop this feeling we've had for years, Luke."

A bitter laugh escaped him. "But the world did stop."

Luke looked back at him.

"It ended. So stop running from this."

Luke's face twisted.

"Nick..."

With hope, now Nick was the one to ramble on, "Luke, look at Walter and Matthew. They're out there. They're happy. And nobody gives a damn. Kenny's an asshole, but if he was really the kind of person who couldn't accept it, Walter and Matthew wouldn't still be around him."

He lifted their intertwined hands.

"The world didn't end because people loved who they loved."

Luke stared at their hands and the words slipped out, "No one would care?" There was so much confusion in his face. Fear. Relief. Grief. But slowly…Luke squeezed Nick's hand back.

Nick smiled faintly. "It's always been just you and me, Luke."

Luke opened his mouth. For once, he had no excuse. No argument. No reason to run. They would figure this out together, when a sharp burst of automatic gunfire ripped through the ski lodge.

My fucking superpower at my waitressing job is that I’m a huge fucking dork and sometimes when I put effort in I’m conventionally attractive on my GOD this fine as fawk man comes in with his family? And I do my whole introduction thing. He shows me his ID to order a drink….i go… “sir do you know video games”

he goes “oh do I ever, and If you tell me what I think you’re gonna say…”

so naturally I go “you look like Carlos Oliveria from resident evil” and he goes “oh my god I love you”

ANYWAYS THEY ORDER DRINKS AND FOOD and we start chatting about video games, telltale, RE, etc.

for his next drink he orders a drink with my name in in and goes “oh I thought you’d be in it”

…BRO WE CANT TALK HERE MEET ME OUT BACK IN THE WALK IN FREEEZER

I just saw an interview from Robert Kirkman and he talks about asking Telltale to write Negan into season 2 or 3 and Clementine would have an encounter with him that leads him to getting a huge scar on his side…. Oh my god has anyone written a fanfic about that?

should I?

Pete shrugged. "I've never once felt like I was supposed to like a woman, Luke. I just did."

Luke looked away from Pete, "I don't know what I am."

His voice was quiet.

"But I know what I'm not supposed to be."

Luke closed his eyes briefly, thinking about every sunday where his pa would drag him into church after morning chores around the farm. About how often his mother nagged him about women. 

Pete sighed through his nose. Luke's jaw tightened as he bit his inner cheek.

"You know..." Pete said slowly. "I knew good men in the Army. Better men than me"

Luke glanced at him.

"Men who got discharged because they loved another man...we got medals for killin' people in villages we'd never heard of. Commendations, handshakes, all that bullshit." Pete shook his head. "But loving another man? That made 'em unfit."

He snorted.

"Never made much sense to me."

Luke didn't know what to say.

"I ain't tellin' you what you are, son."

Pete's voice softened. "That's your business, but I am tellin' you this."

He looked Luke dead in the eye.

"There's gonna come a day where you gotta make a hard decision. Might be love. Might be survival." His expression darkened. "Hell, might be both."

"And when that day comes, you better know who you are."

Pete pointed at him. 'Cause you can't half-ass two things, you can't keep one foot in one life and the other foot in another, you can't love somebody halfway and you sure as hell can't lead people while you're busy runnin' from yourself."

Luke winced. The words struck deeper than he wanted to admit.

"Sarah watches you. Clem watches you."

Pete's voice softened.

"Nick..." He paused. "That boy's been watchin' you damn near his whole life."

Luke's chest tightened. Pete stepped closer.

"So quit telling yourself what you're supposed to be."

The breeze moved through the trees again.

"Figure out what kind of man, what kind of leader you want to be."

Luke swallowed as Pete started to walk away, Then he stopped. Without turning around, he called back:

"If you spend your whole life tryin' to be the version of yourself everybody else picked for you..."

He looked over his shoulder.

"...you're gonna wake up one day and realize you don't know yourself at all."

"And by then, you might've pushed away every person that ever gave a damn about you."

His expression softened.

"Take it from an old man who's made his share of mistakes."

Luke said nothing, looking at the forest ground. Pete gave a small, tired nod.

"Well...Good luck, Luke."

I'm sorry its taking me so long to write the next chapter. It is going to contain a lot of themes on acceptance and I really just want to get it right. Im also working my ass off at my summer job. I've been in a bad mental funk lately so I'd really appreciate some love and feedback. You can catch up on this story here: