i should be writing

And sometimes, you have a string of fandoms that are Actually Pretty Good. And the danger of this—the very great danger—is that when you have a string of Actually Pretty Good and even Actually Amazing obsessions, you start to believe that maybe you have taste. Perhaps you are now immune to the indignities of losing it over something mostly bad.

And frankly, it’s starting to really get on my nerves when people read “I think this thing is good. I wouldn’t change a thing about it and frankly I don’t even think there should be more canon added to it, but I am still going to write thousands of words of fic, make a cosplay, and draw fanart” and then completely misunderstand and respond with “yes I agree—I like things that are good too. But I never feel the transformative/creative fandom instinct for them because they are too good.”

compelling worldbuilding (invites interaction with the setting)

interesting gimmick (see: daemons, drift compatibility. subcategory of compelling worldbuilding)

shipping bait (duh)

original character bait (in-universe categories/factions and design elements that make it fun for people to create their own characters)

compelling narrative (invites interaction and tweaks to the storyline: AUs and fixits and so on)

basically anything that invites interaction and recombination. but fandom also has a sort of multiplying effect: the larger the interactive audience of fandom is, the more likely it is to generate ideas and works that draw in more participants. so:

not because he's a baby a la classic man cold

but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick

he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself

he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him

not happening

as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult

his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing

like. no one else on the team understands Hollander Illness Behavior yet, so they're teasing ilya about being overprotective because shane is SO underplaying it and meanwhile ilya is just, "no, i am so fucking serious. get a medic and then call an ambulance."

and shane who is barely on this realm of existence and about 0.2 seconds from having Involuntary Floor Time is just, "don't worry :) i'll just take an advil or something :)"

@nirby-wirby

the idea that ilya was trying to be loving and let shane come to his own conclusions that he was sick and give in to being cared for because they're still early in their marriage and he thinks that's still possible

only for The Appendixing to happen and shane in the aftermath losing his faking it privileges as a result because APPARENTLY his shifty ass will just "no thank you" his own body THROUGH A FUCKING! MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!

@dragoonthegreat

CACKLING

i also feel like part of the problem is that he IS so good. yeah his fever is 102 and he can't really see straight and gravity is applying to him unevenly, but he is still making goals. would that goal have happened if he was at home?? GUESS WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO KNOW.

the idea of the team thinking they can rat him out to ilya (at home on temporary injury reserve) being SO darkly funny to ilya. he WISHES he had the authority to just make shane admit he's sick and rest. you would think someone obsessed with their health in every other way would take illness seriously enough to rest when he needs to.

he makes it into the locker room before his body goes "okay night night time" and he just goes DOWN

but he held it together SO well in the interview that people see the ambulance coming to the arena and start speculating about fucking EVERYONE

EXCEPT THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO ACTUALLY GOT A WEE WOO TAXI RIDE

he's still out for the next one and announcers are like, "wow, bad luck to have a player end up in the hospital last time and hollander out on this one" and ilya is just -_-

shane in the fucking stratosphere after surgery: TWO appende-appen-appenbyebyes. one more than ANYONE else on the team. that's called-that's called WINNING, babe.

Using their likeness will spark their ire.

Encroachment upon their domain will earn punishment beyond earthly tithe.

The consequences of their regard may be intangible and long-lasting.

Rarely, you may earn their approval, but it is not worth the risk.

You must ask their permission, which is rarely granted.

Once they have you, they will not let you go for a hundred years.

You must be clever and use trickery and wordplay to evade them.

The master of each domain has their own unique and fickle nature, and some are more forgiving than others.

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

i also LOVED that fic so much.. do u think vivienne Knows about them.. like surely there's one family member going i know what you are shane hollander and ilya rozanov

i think vivienne has suspicions that there's a crush in there somewhere, but i don't think she KNOWS.

^ elle probably figured out which mutual luca was as soon as she was in the car on the way home (ive seen the user luca-rozanov thrown around which is so unsubtle and so funny) but luca doesn't figure out elle is hane-shollander until years after they met

GOD shane who knows his little cousin likes heckling grown ass men and has since she could barely fucking see over the wall who just assumes she's doing the same to luca, so he takes luca aside and is just, "listen, you can't let her get to you, okay? she's just having fun. she does the same to me all the time."

and now luca is internally having a crisis because he thinks this is shane saying he is somewhere on tumblr, too, and now he is about to have a panic attack thinking about if Shane Fucking Hollander has seen his in-depth hollanov analysis posts in person.

elle (who is. a demon) one day after a game is making introductions to a friend she brought along and goes, "and this is luca rozanov, no, oops, i mean haas. :) my mistake. :) right, luca? :)"

and luca is just

maybe harris finds out that shane's beloved cousin is in town and is like. hey shane do you think your cousin would like to come to practice and help me with media (maybe he heard from troy about shane's menace of a younger cousin and thinks that she would be a fantastic person to bring to the media team)

shane's like yeah why not? i'll see if she's free

and oh boy is elle free, she's so excited. she's coming up with new questions that these hockey boys had never heard of before. like why do you look sometimes like a trout when you're warming up? or how many times do you think you can skate around the rink at full speed before you throw up?

it's ahead of family night, so she gets to do interviews as kind of a bit of involving family at every step of the way, and she's not on camera (both because minor (they do get a sign off from her mom) and also she's just not interested in that. she'd rather be an anonymous plight to hockey players everywhere), but for ANYONE paying attention it is VERY clear that she is very slowly chasing luca around the rink as luca looks increasingly sweaty. she is coming for him, and they BOTH know it. luca straight up contemplates just puking on the ice so he can CALL IT and LEAVE.

no one who watches the video knows elle's name because the only time she's addressed is by ilya, who calls her Small Hollander (which is affectionately changed to Smallander by fans). the video also gets traffic because it's among the most relaxed interviews shane's ever given. he's still On because he's in his uniform and aware this is going online, but he's smiling slightly because it's his little cousin "interviewing" him, which means it's mostly just chirping back and forth. "what's your ideal breakfast, shane?" "a protein smoothie" *loud buzzer noise* "boring answer. try again." "that IS the answer." "well make up a better one. we're trying to make a television program here." "this isn't for television. this is going on instagram, i think." "okay well just for that, you're getting the villain edit in this one. it's going to make rupaul's editing look tame." "i don't even know who that is." "GOD you're so bad at being gay." "i'm telling your mom you said that." "okay and then i'll tell ilya you said you wouldn't love him if he was a worm?? en garde, dude."

And you just.

Said no????