Teaside Sketches

Outside of art, I've started taking college courses again to get a second degree to work my way into a new career. It's going well so far! Studying again has been nerve wracking, but also good for sharpening my brain again.

Artistically, I've gone back to traditional art; I gave my husband my old tablet, and there's been a bit of a learning curve getting back into it, but I feel a bit happier getting back to pencil and paper like old times.

Most of what I've been sketching has just been entirely original, self-indulgent characters. My husband and I have a pair of characters we've been playing around with a lot recently, and it's at least kept me inspired enough to have the drive to create at all.

So, on the bright side, I'm finally drawing somewhat regularly again! I've sketched a couple dozen little studies in the past two or three weeks, so my sketchbook is seeing some good use. I only got back into sketching with no finished illustrations, but it's nice to be making something again after so many years.

I don't feel confident enough in myself to be able to share anything yet, especially since it's all original (and the same two characters over and over), but maybe if there's interest or I have the confidence, I may try to share some of my work once I get back into the hang of painting again. We'll see -- otherwise, if I ever start drawing fan art again, that's when I'll start posting.

I've been wanting to work on Ivory Weald again for a while now, and while not art-related, I've considered shifting it to a novel instead of a comic so I'll be able to finish it within my lifetime. But, well, both writing and drawing have been rather... impossible for me for months now just because of this intense mental block I have surrounding it right now.

Long story short, I've pretty much lost all my drive and confidence in art and writing after leaving a community that unintentionally broke those down in me.

I've been rather silent because, aside from having a full-time seasonal job until a couple weeks ago, I've been trying to give myself some time and be patient to hopefully "get over" those negative feelings. Alas, time hasn't been doing much to help, so I might need to go about it from a different, less passive angle?

It's just difficult because I just feel the worst, heaviest sinking feeling in my chest that makes me physically ill whenever I try to write or draw now.

And I'm... really not sure what to do about it.

Writing in particular used to be my biggest comfort hobby with art as a close second; now I just feel so lost in my free time. Whenever I try to think about doing either of them, at best, my mind just draws a complete blank and I just, completely stop functioning until I give up and do something else.

I'm open to advice on how I might be able to approach them from a different angle to get past that mental block, but in the meantime... well!