my happy page

We often forget how many people think of us dearly and would support us in a heartbeat when anxious feelings and thoughts close in on us. When the mind is whirring about the what ifs and hows, we rarely have space to think about the positives and the could be. I am lucky that sometimes before I reach out for my phone, someone checks up on me unexpectedly. Sometimes they become the next best thing to cry to and rant about whatever that's on my mind, and sometimes they then think to themselves that maybe they shouldn't reach out anymore... But there is kindness in what they do and how they try to help in their way or any other ways.

Today was especially productive, considering the vicious email received late on a Saturday implying I'm not doing my job proper. Things like that weigh on my mind a lot... It's even worse because those thoughts constantly ruminate and refuses to let up despite what I do to not think about it. Anxiety is a funny thing... Just when I thought I finally am able to understand it enough to control it somewhat, it bursts through the door and takes me by surprised... Again.