TeamTouchGrass

You’ll notice I haven’t acknowledged the delulus in ages. It’s usually more fun to ignore them and let them fight with reality on their own. But between the asks I got and the mistake I made of checking a few of their blogs to laugh at the meltdowns, I guess I need to say something.

First: the predictions😆

“He’s coming with Scott/He won’t be wearing a ring/She won’t be there because she is banned from entering the US/ and my favorite SHE IS NEVER SEEN IN MASS😂

And then what happened?

Chris showed up with his wife, wearing his wedding ring, looking happy. Alba looked absolutely STUNNING. The silver Zuhair Murad, the red Elie Saab ughhh gorgeous 🤤. The designers themselves posted her and the comments everywhere are praising her. But apparently we’re supposed to believe everyone hates it. Sure.

So now that every prediction failed, we’re back to the fake baby conspiracy, and the most unhinged thing I saw was someone claiming Alba “changed her body” to support the “just had a baby” lie.

How completely fucked up in the head do you have to be to think that’s a normal thing to say about anyone?

Their favourite line now is “we’ll believe it when Chris says it with his lips.” Bitch he said with his lips that he was married and you still denied it. So let’s not pretend that’s the issue😂

Also, who the fuck do you think you are? Why would Chris and Alba need to prove anything to your sorry asses? They don’t owe you confirmation, statements, baby photos, or evidence of their private life.

Normal people saw the news months ago, said “good for them,” and moved on. Meanwhile you have spent weeks upon weeks trying to prove that a married couple’s baby isn’t real.

That’s not fandom opinion. That’s just sad.

Anyway.

The Oscars happened.

You were wrong as usual.

They looked happy.

Alba looked incredible…

Lmao 😂 I definitely don’t consider a couple going to a social event a win baby, but you thinking it is tells us how much of a loser you are🙊

She had the best birthday party and ate cake for the first time ever😅

I hope her dad and I are doing it right. Raising a human comes with so much responsibility but equally so much love to give🥲

That being said, if you’re the type of person to leak stuff like this, why would you leak a marriage certificate when the celeb themselves confirmed they are married? There’s no story to break with that. It’s not news. Chris said he got married. His entire circle also confirmed it. Going through the effort to dig up and share the marriage certificate doesn’t gain a publication any kind of relevant “exclusive” on a story that isn’t breaking news to anyone.

I’m thinking of when there was a weird rumor that Lorde was actually a 30-year-old woman pretending to be a teenager, and she provided her birth certificate to show she’s the age she says she is.

Yes, TMZs habit of paying for sources is part of why it’s considered unethical journalism.

That being said, if you’re the type of person to leak stuff like this, why would you leak a marriage certificate when the celeb themselves confirmed they are married? There’s no story to break with that. It’s not news. Chris said he got married. His entire circle also confirmed it. Going through the effort to dig up and share the marriage certificate doesn’t gain a publication any kind of relevant “exclusive” on a story that isn’t breaking news to anyone.

Even though they had actual facts, and weren’t just speculating based only on a woman’s body and how fat she looked or didn’t look, they just shared publicly what needed to be shared. The extra details, they shared privately with blogs they trusted.

I’m looking mainly at you @certifiedcevanslover and @archivecevans and of course my girls at @thelonesomequeen 😌 Loved all the excitement we got to share with every confirmation you guys got🤣 and special mention to my boo @teamtouchgrass 😉😉

What an adventure!

I feel like I’m just getting into all the excitement because I’ve been tied up with work all day but it’s certainly all very exciting news!

One extra thing I want to acknowledge is that until today, media outlets were not reporting on any of the pregnancy speculation. Even when there was public evidence across social media that Alba was pregnant, it wasn’t reported on by any publications until today, when TMZ shared their scoop.

I know it’s fashionable for conspiracists and others in denial to accuse blogs who aren’t afraid of reality of being part of the “PR” campaign, whatever the fuck that means lol. But if fans were part of any actual PR teams, the speculation would have been publicized much sooner in real celeb news outlets.

TMZ posts the birth certificate: ITS FAKE!!!!! LOOK AT THE SEAL!!

lmaooo delulus never change 🤣 confirmation bias at its finest. Whatever happens or doesn’t happen is always PROOF11!1 to them that their delusions are real

OMG @thelonesomequeen @teamtouchgrass

🤐 🫣

MaTeRnItY LeAvE sure jan. your kid was born in december it’s fucking july. At least check facts before you lie

Not sure how to reply to this catastrophic ask.

Should I worry about them tracking when my daughter was born (they’re wrong, it’s November but close enough)?

OR

Should I laugh in UK maternity leave?