TeamMerthur

how do u get ur grades up in like 6 minutes

Me before social events

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

always say thank you to the bus driver and the crossing guard and the cashier this is crucial

Now is the time to reblog this. I’ve been awaiting this picture.

porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house

having difficulty with the transition from ‘impressive child’ to ‘below-average adult’

this is actually me. 

i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”

 and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”

also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”

Life hack: deal with your emotions by becoming so sleep deprived you no longer have higher order brain functions.