abandoned

When 141 met you they knew something was different about you. A civilian on the outside, but there was a war brewing behind your eyes. Eyes carrying sorrow, despair, and longing. There was always a wall of contention when it came to the longing though. They could never understand why you would ever want to do the job they did. The death that surrounds them everywhere they went. You were a niece of Laswell's fiancé. Price couldn't understand why a fully capable adult would sit around base and filing paperwork all day. That was over a year ago however and now you all were more closely acquainted… More so infatuated. You hide behind the guise of happiness, confidence, and carefreeness. They know nothing about you or why the war behind your eyes continues to brew, but they catch a glimpse today.

It started slow. You arriving late to meetings, misfiling paperwork, your face looks like it holds many stone just to smile.

"Sorry guys I got caught up with Kate!"

"Sorry I got a call!"

"So sorry… I slept in…"

The nervous fidgets with checking your phone every few minutes increased tenfold, to the point where your eyes were glued to it. Eyes filling with tears waiting to flow over.

After todays meeting you head to the small petrol station for a quick snack. You need to get back to filing the recent mission brief. Your somber music was cut off by a gentle hand being placed on your shoulder. You flinch jumping away from the touch to see the kind eyes and freckled face of Kyle "Gaz" Garrick. He was always kind and quiet.

"Oh hi Kyle…" You take a moment to remove the noise canceling ear buds from your ears.

"Didn't hear you walk up. Do you need anything?" You ask with your weighted smile.

"Sorry Luvie, didn't mean to scare you. Just want to accompany you to the station for a snack." Kyle says with a smile as he falls in step with you.

You both walk in silence for a moment until you come close to an obstacle course. You pause and stare at the soldiers training. Climbing ropes, repelling off walls, moving in tandem with each other as if they are a unit, a one celled organism almost.

Kyle's gaze goes between you and the field and back to you. A look of confliction as he debates on the question he wants to ask.

"If… if you don't mind me asking… why didn't you join the military if you… uh… how do i phrase it… Long for it? I sense jealousy…" Gaz tries his best to be eloquent with his words as to not frighten you.

"I was on to many drugs…" You say almost humorously making Kyles eyes widen. You in take a breath and let out a tense sigh.

"Sorry… Kind of on auto-pilot… The drugging wasn't exactly consensual… well… it was… I… um… you know Gypsy Rose?" You ask as you begin to continue your journey to the store.

"Yes, I do…" Kyle was lying, but he didn't want you to feel the need to explain something if you weren't comfortable.

"Well… minus the parent killing and the jail time…You know the story…" You say as the small petrol station comes into view.

Kyle is now, way more freaked out and regrets not asking you to explain, but you seem to be pulling away from the conversation, so he won't push it for now.

"Yeah… um… apologies…" He didn't even know what he was apologizing for all he knows it will offend you, but when you only nod and pop your ear buds back in before walking into the station. While that happens Kyle does a quick google search.

"No wonder I didn't know what it was… It happened in America…"

As Kyle continues his search he skims articles with multiple mentions of "Munchausen by Proxy" then that lead to another rabbit hole of searches. Kyle turns back to look through the window of the station to see you paying at the counter. His brow furrows with upset before turning back around and pocketing his phone as you walk out.

"Not going to get anything?" You ask as you hand him a water bottle.

"Well since i'm your favorite I knew you'd get me something Luvie." Kyle says with a wink trying to shift his mood into a false happiness. You notice however, but decide not to push as you make your way back toward the barracks.

-

Kyle made Price aware to what he found out as you are apart of the team and your work has been suffering lately. Price's face wore a look of calm with an underlying feeling of hurt. He always tries to keep his face neutral, but he was utterly confused on how you can hold in something so devastating. especially if it was to the extent of what they read about. Little did they know that that was only the half of it.

-

The next time something concerning happened was with Soap, you both decided to go out into town on a day off. You were meeting the rest of the group for a movie at a theatre showing the new Sonic 3 movie. It was the only thing that seemed to bring light to your eyes so they all agreed to go. You were going on and on about how the movie would compare to the lore of the animes, comics, and past shows when you suddenly collide with someone. Johnny was so engrossed in what you were saying that he didn't see the person either.

What he did notice however was the look of terror on your face. You were practically trembling as the person placed a hand on your shoulder to ask if you were okay looking utterly confused, but the moment the person touch you, you flinched and clasped a hand over your mouth. Johnny notices as your cheeks puff out and your eyes water as you quickly turn in the opposite direction and rush away. soap could hardly keep up until you turn into an alley and release the early lunch you and Soap just had. The sounds you were making were making were not human sounding. It was like a terror-stricken animal taking it's last breath. That's when Soap found out you were on the spectrum as well seeing as even hours after that incident you were non-verbal.

Simon had to be the one to carry you back to the car as well as your room, because he was the only one seemingly strong enough to keep ahold of you. Simon recognized immediately what was happening. As it happened with many soldiers and him especially.

-

The final incident started off with a bang. Literally, the sound of smashing glass and animalistic cries of anguished could be heard all throughout the 141 barracks. The first to enter was Price gun in hand and wearing nothing, but briefs he went to sleep in. The sight he gazed upon was broken drinking glasses, smashed picture frames, and you hunched over something with a pair of scissors. crying and grunting as you stab the blade of the scissors into whatever it is.

Price in his delirium was shoved out of the way by a hulking Ghost as he storms into the room wrapping his arms around your waist and picking you up off the floor. You make feeble attempts to grasp at what the whole group can see is a raggity old pillow, that has seen it's fair share before being mutilated the way it has been.

"She knew! She knew! SHE KNEW!" You screeched as your whole body goes limp.

Simon had to fall back on to the edge of the bed before sliding off the edge and landing on the floor keeping you curled into his chest as he ripped the scissors from your hand and throwing them far across the room. Simon now forces your head into his chest as he uses his legs to wrap around your lower half as one arm wraps around your shoulders and the other buries it in your hair tugging at your scalp gently to ground you. He coos softly as Gaz and Soap finally walk in to see the carnage you caused. Their eyes land on you and simons maskless face. His eyes share the concern before shaking his head before focusing on you.

-

"Johnny we need to be quiet an..." "Fuck being quiet! What happened to us being a team!" He says as he gets face-to-face with him.

He can feels the slight warm breaths of Ghost through his balaclava. He can feel the intense stare as he looks up at him. He is sure Ghost could feel the anger rolling off of him. He hopes that Ghost feels the slightest bit intimidated but he knows that isn't the case.

"We are a te-" Soap makes sure to lean up as far as he can. Trying his best to puff out his chest and make himself bigger.

"No apparently we're not because we just left her behind! What happened to the Ghost that would stick his neck out for his squad member!" Soap exclaims as his anger seems to rise.

"He is still there Mactavish! I needed to get you both out of there. You were injured and I had no idea what Gaz's condition was! I had to assume she was dead in an effort to save the rest of you!" Ghost says as his voice begins to rise in turn.

"You hated her the moment she stepped foot on base... You didn't bother to confirm if she was alive! She is one of us!" Soap says shoving Ghost which causes Ghost to Step back a step.

"Was this some opportunity to get her off your back?! You were probably glad she was dead!" "You need to hush it John-" Ghost bellows only to be cut off by Soap once again.

"Just because she is younger than us doesn't mean she isn't capable! Was she just going to be another name in your already red ledger? Do you only see her as collateral damage?!"

Ghost stays silent. Not because Soap is right, but because he is unable to come up with an answer. Technically yes she was. He didn't want it to be that way, but she dug her grave and now she had to lie in it, and that is exactly what he said.

"She dug the grave for herself and she had to lie in it! It was sacrifice the few to save the lives of the many! You need to understand that I made a logical choice! You need to separate your emotions from situations like this or it will get you killed!" Ghost sees Soap change stance.

He knew that Soap was going to punch him in the face the moment he stepped outside the tent. He knew he deserved it, but just because he deserved it doesn't mean he was going to let it happen. Before any action could take place Gaz steps out of the tent.

"What the fuck are you both doing out here!" Both Ghost and Soap turn to Gaz.

"It doesn't fucking matter. Medical evac is seven klicks out. We need to get a move on before you alert anyone else of our position..." He grumbles as he walks back inside the tent.

Soap grunts before going around the fire and packing up things that are needed. Ghost walks toward the tent and begins to pack up everything that is inside. Gaz is walking out with the radio and some medical supplies.

Ghost looks over to you laying nearly lifelessly on the cot. If it weren't for the rise and fall of your chest he would have been convinced. He begins taking things off the foldable tables and folding them up before exiting the tent. He does this for the second table as well. When he comes in a third time he sees Soap sitting on the ground and running his fingers through your hair.

"We're going to move you alright Lass? We need to finish packing up and then we will get you out of here." He says softly.

Soaps hand goes from your hair to your cheek as the back of his hand caresses the side of your face. He then turns his hand so his thumb can wipe away the wet residue of your tears and blood. Soap then turns his head to Ghost and glares. He stands up and goes to pick you up when Ghost stops him.

"You aren't fit to pick her up Sargent. Go wait in the jeep." Ghost says.

Soap looked like he was about to argue but he knew Ghost was right. It would only injure his leg more and he would jostle her around to much in an effort to avoid causing further injury to it. Soap walked out and Ghost sighed.

"Gotta stay with us Corporal. I need you to be alive so I can rip you a new one for being so fucking stupid." He grunts as he bends down and collects you in his arms.

He walks out of the tent to the last standing vehicle and opens up the back seat. He lays you down in it and you groan at the change of body placement. Soap then hops in the back seat as well using his right thigh as a pillow to support your head. Ghost looks between the both of you as he sees Soap run his hands through your hair.

"You'll be alright m'eudail (My dear)... We will get you better." Soap looks up at Ghost and sighs.

Ghost takes that as a sign and gently shuts the door and sighs. Ghost swiftly goes over the layout of the camp to see if there is anything else needed to be packed, but Gaz seemed to have already packed everything and put out the fire. Ghost goes to the passenger side and gets in which is soon followed by Gaz in the drivers seat.

"Drive easy Gaz... Please." Ghost hears from behind him.

Gaz nods into the rear view before he stops driving. "Keep the lights off until we are a Klick out or so got that Gaz?"

Gaz nods but stays silent as he goes a snail pace. Once they are out a bit the head lights go up and he begins to drive a bit faster. Soap has been whispering soothing words to you this entire time. Every whimper you make when there is a particular harsh bump he is there to comfort you. Ghost can only listen as he keeps his eyes out on the horizon. He feels his heart pinch in his chest. He allowed you to get hurt. He left you behind. He needs to make sure you are okay, but he knows that Soap can handle it. He needs to get out of his head and focus on the task at hand and keep an eye out for potential threats as well as the helicopter that will be evacuating them. Ghost doesn't want to be harsh, but he is going to talk to Price about your behavior. You were down right suicidal today and he will not have that threaten his squad.

"Why do you call her Misdi?" Ghost asks in a low tone.

"It's uh... it's short for Misdirection. When she was in Iraq under American command she was the best at distracting the enemy from the main task at hand..." Gaz says in an equally low tone.

"However she had her own squad for that." Ghosts eyes widen.

"She is only a Corporal how is that possible?" Ghost says keeping his tone level.

"Well she was on the promotion board, but that was cut short for some reason and she was nominated to be on this task force." Gaz murmurs.

"Must've gotten in some trouble with the bullshit she pulled today. I wouldn't be surprised..." Ghost growls.

That is when there is a whimper from the back seat which was louder then the others. Your eyes are filled with tears as you adjust to what they assume is consciousness.

"I'm here lass, they bein' to loud huh?" "Bear..." you mumble. "Hurts..."

"I know lass... I'm here you can squeeze my hand as hard as you want." Soap says as he slips his hand in yours and you squeeze.

"Scared Bear..." you whimper.

"I know, but we are here and we are heading home." Soap says using his other hand to run through your hair and gasps slightly.

"What is it Soap?" Gaz asks.

"Her head started bleeding again. 'Ts bleedin' through the bandage..." Soaps voice cracks.

"She'll be fine, keep pressure on it." Ghost says as he taps on Gazs shoulder to get him to speed up. Gaz nods before speeding up.

"I got to put pressure on yer head alright?" Soap says as he presses down on your wound.

You let out a cry and he tries his best to comfort you. "I know, I know. You got this alright?" Soap says as he continues to murmur to you. ---

You weren't unconscious that entire time. You were up ever since he put you in the car. You hate that Ghost thought so little of you. You couldn't help but let out a small whimper. You just hope they assume it was out of pain. Then again it is pain. Pain of the heart because they have no idea what you went through. Only Laswell and Price know and you want to keep it that way. You wish you could have said a snarky comment, but your eyes fell closed. Only to open at the rendezvous point. You were lifted onto a stretcher and into the helicopter. You look up to see Soap, Gaz, and Ghost in the seats and strapped down and that is when you realize your head is strapped to the stretcher and unable to move.

Your chest begins to heave up and down as your eyes strain to look either side of you.

"Let me out... Let me out!" You cry out and the three snap their head down to you.

You begin to thrash and strain in an effort to get out. Your vision starts to blur with tears as you feel the other restraints binding you. You suddenly see a head pop into your vision.

"Get away from me!" You shout.

"Ma'am if you don't calm down we are going to have to sedate you." The person above you says, but this only causes you to panic further.

"Love we're here." You hear Gaz say and suddenly you feel a hand enter your own and you immediately dig your nails into him.

"It's just me love. It's big G. Remember when you gave me that nickname? It's really stupid innit?" Gaz says with a laugh.