does it ever get lonely?

“This is worse than when that Ariana Grande girl took over everything, at least her songs were jams, you know?” He joked lightly as he but into a hot dog he’d just got while he took a break from making the rounds. He hated when he was stuck on speed tickets day, there was nothing more boring. “There’s a lot of new music, they need to show love to other people, that’s all I’m saying.”

     ⋯ CHUCKLING SOFTLY, todd nodded and licked his lips absentmindedly. ❛ yeah, no, i totally agree. i mean, great for them, but jesus christ, it would have been awesome to hear something else every now and then, ❜ he spoke and chuckled carefully, nodding his head while agreeing to what the older man said about ariana grande and taylor swift taking over everything. there’s a lot of new music, they need to show love to other people, that’s all i’m saying. ❛ hey, i agree with you one hundred percent. sadly, though, i think it’s on us though. you know? i mean, it’s the people who request the songs and whatever. the radio plays what people want to hear, and i guess we’re just outnumbered. ❜

she clicks her tongue, shimmering soft brown lipgloss catching the sunlight as she thinks. “Hmmm. I mean, some of you might remember from my earliest videos,” she begins, gesturing with one hand to the camera as she addresses her audience, “but I got started in full with this after I graduated college. Twenty-fourteen.” she shrugs, multihued eyes flitting over to todd in a brief moment of connection. “I didn’t always want to work in culinary arts, I never formally studied them or anything. Originally I started off doing food reviews, but from there the cooking started. A little backwards, I know.” 

     ⋯ LOOKING AT CLAIR as she spoke towards the camera, the young male raised an eyebrow at how natural she looked in front of it. ❛ you know, you look quite comfortable and natural in front of the camera, ❜ he said and chuckled softly, letting the back of his head rest against the seat pillow. i didn’t always want to work in culinary arts, i never formally studied them or anything. ❛ then what did you want to do? originally, i mean? ❜

“Can someone tell whoever is in charge of radio stations in this town that I’ve had enough of Taylor Swift and they need to get into the new Lana del Rey stuff because I’m losing it. I can only listen to the radio in the patrol and it ain’t fair.”

     ⋯ ❛ DUDE, I ONE HUNDRED PERCENT agree with you, ❜ todd said and chuckled softly, while keeping his dark brown eyes locked with the other male who spoke about taylor swift and how the radio stations in treeville needed to get into lana del rey stuff instead. ❛ as much as i can admit that t swift is impressive, it’s starting to get a little too much. ❜

she laughs, holding up her thumb and index finger close to each other. “Just the once, just a little bit,” she admits, putting her hand back on the wheel. “I could make a nice carrot display just for him, I think it would be very appreciated. But as for other people, I mean, anyone who wanted to? I think it could be cool to talk to, like, Julia Child or Rachael Ray, just to talk to influential figures in the culinary world, especially women, like. They’re both almost household names and I think it would be cool to talk to them, about their journey and what not. Because I’m just kind of following in their footsteps, you know?” 

⋯ ❛ WELL, IF YOU MAKE HIM A NICE CARROT DISPLAY i think you will win his heart over before you know it, ❜ he spoke and chuckled softly, and for some weird reason, he kind of forgot about the cameras already. maybe it was because of clair’s presence. she made it comfortable? that had to be it. smiling softly at what clair said about who she wanted to talk to, he nodded his head and tilted it a little to the side as he watched her drive the car while talking so nonchalantly. todd wondered how long she had been doing this. because i’m just kind of following in their footsteps, you know? ❛ i get it. how long have you been doing all of this? and, you know, how long have you known that you want to work in the culinary world? ❜ he asked curiously, the side of his head pressed against the top seat pillow. 

Antoni shook his head in turn, understanding where Todd was coming from. It was natural to want to exploit any resource, and he didn’t mind him asking at all. “It’s completely fine,” he said, no trace of deceit in his tone. “I know,” he confirmed, feeling the conversation shift back into a near-cyclical state. Antoni was more than happy to reaffirm Todd. “Remember,” he said, shifting so his bag was on his lap and he could rest his arms atop the waxed canvas. “You just have to take control of the things you can and deal with the rest as it comes.”

⋯ ❛ YOU KNOW, I’M REALLY GRATEFUL for everything that you have said, ❜ he spoke and turned to look at the doctor, absolutely one hundred percent grateful for what todd had said. ❛ it have helped a lot more than you could even begin to imagine, ❜ he said and took a deep breath, knowing that he needed to do what he said and just relax, because he needs to take control of the things that he can and deal with the rest as it comes. ❛ anyway, um... here i am, ❜ he said and laughed, shaking his head, ❛ i’m sorry for throwing all of this on you. you’re a really good guy, you know, ❜ he said and gave antoni a weak smile. 

she smiles, a warm look as she reaches over with one hand and squeezes his bicep gently. “That would be a very nice breakfast, I’m sure. For me, I think…if I was spoiling myself, it would be a nice brunch spread. Fruit salad, some mimosas, eggs, bacon, french toast casserole, and then like, some options for those less inclined to hot breakfast, like bagels, cereal, etc. Vegan options too, of course. I’d have it outside, one of those long country table spreads, in like, a field or something. Maybe on the beach but I’d be worried about sand.” she likes a big spread to cater to as many people as possible, but to also cover as many diets as she can. “And I’d definitely bring my friends, maybe some fans? Meet and greets are always fun. I could crush up some oats and honey bars and make a horse-friendly parfait if you wanted to bring Apollo.” she gives him a smile, laughing a little. 

⋯ AS CLAIR WENT ON ABOUT what she wanted and where she wanted it, todd’s eyebrows raised and his mouth parted slightly. she sure had thought about it quite a lot, he thought to himself and a soft chuckle fell from the male’s lips as he glanced over at her as she went on and on. ❛ wow, uhh okay. you sure sound like you have thought about that one once or twice, ❜ he said and chuckled softly as he kept his eyes locked with her face. the smile on his lips widened and he shrugged his shoulders casually before he turned to look out of the window in front of them, watching the large trees disappear as quickly as they appeared. i could crush up some oats and honey bars and make a horse-friendly parfait if you wanted to bring apollo. ❛ if you have CARROTS I THINK APOLLO would love you, ❜ he said and grinned, letting the back of his head rest against the top pillow of the seat he was in. letting his head fall over to the side, todd licked his lips absentmindedly. ❛ no one else you would want to talk to though? i mean, if you had the possibility of talking to someone, whether it be someone you have met already or someone you haven’t met, you wouldn’t take that opportunity? ❜

Antoni hummed in agreeance. Olivia is strong, resilient, and has the right attitude– and also importantly has family with the right attitude around her. “About her treatment?” Ant repeated, mouth settling into a slightly downward line. “Unfortunately, I… Not when I am not under my official capacity as her physician,” he said the words apologetically, understanding Todd’s plight. “What I can tell you is that someone will be there ready to explain her current statistics to you. And I will call and make sure someone good is there to brief you.”

⋯ ❛ RIGHT, YEAH OF COURSE. ❜ taking a deep breath, todd shook his head and smiled weakly at the man. ❛ i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have put you in that situation. i know you can’t talk about her situation, ❜ he said and nodded, blinking back tears that were threatening to fall. keeping his brown eyes locked with antoni, todd shrugged his shoulders. what i can tell you is that someone will be there ready to explain her current statistics to you. and i will call and make sure someone good is there to brief you. sniffing, todd nodded and a soft laugh fell from his lips. ❛ thank you. i mean, THANK YOU. it means the world to me. and... i know olivia is in good hands at the hospital. it’s just... i’m her brother, you know? I’m supposed to keep her safe and any danger away from her, but this... this is something i’m not able to keep her safe from and i ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. i feel so... powerless. ❜

⋯ tcollins: good morning 😴

10169 ♡ likes   ⦁   432 ✎ comments

“Traditional breakfast, very American, I dig it.” she grins at him, drumming her fingers along the steering wheel. “And you can pick anyone, dead or alive. Could be famous, could be personal - anyone you’d want to have a breakfast with.” she figures a fun question would be easy to start with, for him; something to keep the mood lightened and keep him relaxed. 

❛ CAN NEVER GO WRONG with a traditional breakfast, ❜ todd spoke and chuckled softly, looking over at the girl who was drumming her fingers along the steering wheel. and you can pick anyone, dead or alive. ❛ hmmm... i think, if i could pick a personal person, i would like to see my grandfather again? that would be awesome. we–we had a really close relationship and when he passed away, i was heartbroken. ❜ he swallowed and shrugged his shoulders casually. ❛ and when it comes to a famous person, i think i’d like to have breakfast with... albert einstein. i mean, that would have been a pretty INTERESTING CONVERSATION, don’t you think? what about you? ❜

“Don’t thank me,” he said, patting Todd’s hand with his free one and smiling kindly. “I just do my job and sometimes I can do more. Olivia is lucky to have a brother like you.” Antoni gave Todd a serious look, nodding minutely. “I’m quite privileged to be on her team. Like I said, she’s pretty radiant. Hard not to love on her.”

❛ I’M THE LUCKY ONE, ❜ todd said and chuckled softly at the words coming from the doctor’s lips about olivia being lucky to have a brother like him. looking at antoni, todd let a shrug roll off his shoulders. i’m quite privileged to be on her team. like i said, she’s pretty radiant. hard not to love on her. ❛ yeah, it is, isn’t it? ❜ he said and chuckled softly, rubbing his hands down against his thighs. ❛ so, is there anything you can tell me? about her, you know, her treatment? what’s going on with her and all that? ❜

she blushes at the easy compliment coming from todd. she’s proud of her set up, but to be complimented on it just makes her almost shy. “Oh, please. It’s just two cameras, don’t worry about it.” after making sure their drinks are secure and they’ve both buckled in, clair turns on the cameras, small as they are, just to not make a big deal of it. the more nonchalant, the more casual and relaxed, the better. she turns on the gps on her phone and clicks it onto the mounted holder on her dash, and then pulls out of the space. “Okay. I have two questions for you, and I want honest answers.” she gives him a purposeful look, brows raised, before turning back to the road. “First; what’s your ideal breakfast? Where would you want it, who would be there - if anyone, it’s up to you - what’s on the menu; give it all to me.”

okay, i have two questions for you, and i want honest answers. ❛ I SHOULD BE ABLE  TO GIVE YOU THAT, ❜ he said and chuckled softly, rubbing his hands together anxiously. todd bit his bottom lip and a laugh fell from his lips at her questions. what’s your ideal breakfast? where would you want it, who would be there – if anyone, it’s up to you – laughing softly, he nodded as he listened, what’s on the menu; give it all to me. ❛ wow, you surely are hitting me with the tough questions, aren’t you? and... ❜ he thought about it for a second, leaning back against the car seat. ❛ my ideal breakfast has to be a tower of pancakes, bacon and syrup, ❜ he said and chuckled softly, his stomach growling at the mere thought. ❛ and, who i’d eat it with? like, dead or alive? ❜ 

THE GIRL nodded her head and tapped her fingers against her knees. “ there’s plenty we could do. i guess it all depends on how adventurous we want to get. ” she hummed quietly, head tilting to the side. “ or i guess the easier question would be what things do you enjoy doing most? is there something here you’ve always wanted to do, but you’ve never had the chance to? or do you like to stick to things you know best? ”  

“Right here.” she gestures a few cars to the left from the entrance, sipping on her drink as she leads him over. she unlocks it with her trusty keychain, humming a song she’d had stuck in her head all morning. “So. There’s a bit of a camera set up in there but nothing too invasive, I don’t think. There’s one camera on the dash, aiming through the windshield, and a camera on the rearview mirror, aiming back into the car. I have some other stuff to use once we actually get there, but for the most part, just pretend like they’re not there.” she is going to have to introduce him and all of that, but she did most of that through the clips she shot at home, so maybe this will be more informal than her other vlogs. anything for the comfort of her guest. 

NODDING HIS HEAD, todd walked in the direction of where the car was. he turned his head and looked at the female, who explained where there were cameras and whatnot in the car and he nodded. i have some other stuff to use once we actually get there, but for the most part, just pretend like they’re not there. ❛ okay, sure. yeah, i can do that, ❜ he said and at least he hoped he would be able to do it. grabbing the door handle of the passenger seat, he climbed into the car and that’s when he noticed the set-up she had. ❛ wow, ❜ he said and chuckled, looking at clair once she climbed into the car on the other side. ❛ this looks pretty damn professional, ❜ he said and smiled as he closed the door and buckled up.

“The idea of a family owned business was always cute to me,” she says with a grin, before her attention is directed elsewhere. her orders are ready and she reaches over, taking the black coffee and handing it to todd, while grabbing her own rather sugary drink. she walks towards the door, pausing by the cream and sugar bar, in case todd wants to add anything to his drink. 

NODDING HIS HEAD, todd smiled at what clair said. ❛ my parents own this riding school, so i mean, i – i definitely know what it’s like to have something like that. it brought us closer together, for sure, ❜ todd continued and nodded, licking his lips absentmindedly. the young male tilted his head a little to the side when clair’s attention was directed elsewhere. todd took the black coffee cup from clair’s hand and smiled at her, thanking her for the drink that she had bought him. when she walked towards the door, todd followed her and the two of them walked outside and onto the pavement. ❛ so, where’s your car? ❜ he asked before he took a sip of the hot coffee cup, feeling the caffeine slide through his veins and a soft sigh fell from his lips at how content he felt.