kayla!

                   heterosexuals need to see our suffering          the violent deaths of our friends and lovers    to know glitter on a queer is not to dazzle but to unsettle the foundation of this murderous culture  defiant weeds smashing up through cement             you think Oscar Wilde was funny            well Darling I think he was busy              distracting straight people             so they would not kill him

looking back on the 1989 era is so bittersweet because at the time, it really did seem like taylor was happier than she had ever been before. and i think she genuinely thought she was too: she was loved by the public, she had a ton of friends, her album was doing well, she was breaking records and winning awards left and right…and it wasn’t until the aftermath, when everything had come crashing down, and she was sitting in the rubble of what was, that she realised how superficial it was. that happiness doesn’t come just because you keep insisting you’re happy. that success isn’t worth it if you don’t have people you can count on. that praise means nothing if it’s coming from people who will turn on you with the flick of a switch. that forcing yourself to be the person that everyone wants you to be, might bring temporary love and joy, but it’s fleeting and ultimately empty. and i think when you’re young, especially at a time like this, when happiness is advertised to us as something we can achieve if we buy the right things and follow carefully curated advice, you’ll sacrifice real happiness for the illusion of it, because it’s prettier and it makes others happy. and we don’t always notice we’re doing it. it’s not until that all collapses in on us, and we discover that the mansion we were living in never had a solid foundation, that we realise it was never true happiness.