Whatever I Want

So a lot of this is copy+pasted from messages I sent on discord a few minutes ago bc I don't want to retype it all, but:

I really liked the portrayal of a man blaming everyone else for his failures, while the movie reiterates the distortion of facts and memories that takes place within an individual. His truth is so because he remembers it that way, distorted in the way he, likely subconsciously, had chosen. Also, the way he sees himself as entitled to everything, from his wife to an imagined future to the backrooms itself ("this is my house"), as well as its inhabitants, the last one for his own literal consumption. "The best part is... you can eat them," shocked the theater I was in, but I think it fits his character perfectly. To him, the people in the backroom are lesser than him, and he's perfectly justified in tearing chunks out of them with his bare hands to eat. It's his house, and his domain, his wife

And at the end he was so confident in his dominion over the Backrooms that he was trying to reason with the monster constructed from his own ego (that his wife ran screaming from, worth noting), and in the end, it was that that was his downfall. He was torn apart by the manifestation of his own persona he'd constructed

That's not to mention that the reason he didn't change wasn't that he was incapable of change, just that he never wanted to in the first place. He paid lip service to the idea, even going to therapy, but he was so resistant to the idea of actually changing the whole time. The backrooms didn't change him, either. Not at his core. They just enabled him to get what he always wanted: consequence free irresponsibility, and an environment he was able to dominate

In the little time we spend with Nikki before she becomes possessed “freaky” Nikki, Obsession goes to great lengths to establish Nikki as a person.

In just the first 15 minutes of the film, we learn that Nikki loves writing, she’s laid back, and that she cares very deeply for others. We see that she’s funny, she likes to gently tease her friends and joke around. She has ambition and wants to pursue her writing seriously. She has her own goals and thoughts and opinions.

She’s also characterized very well by her wardrobe, how she talks, her body language and expressions (courtesy of Inde Navarrette’s absolutely STUNNING and brilliant performance).

In a VERY short amount of time, the audience is given a VERY clear picture of Nikki’s personality and usual behavior.

Which makes her “transition” into “Freaky” Nikki all the more horrific when Bear makes his wish.

Because even if we give Bear some grace, and acknowledge that he couldn’t have known that the One Wish Willow would do what it did, and even if we treat his kissing her on the first night she comes over as morally grey (although in my opinion he absolutely did take advantage of the fragile mental state he believed her to be in), there is no way to excuse Bear blatantly ignoring that Nikki changes so drastically from the person Bear claims to be in love with.

After the wish, Nikki starts speaking differently and using a higher pitched voice, she starts dressing completely differently and wearing more traditionally “feminine” clothing. She suddenly drops her plan to quit working at the music store and pursue writing, she stops showing any care towards her other friends and the people in her life. She defers to Bear in every situation, with the only exception being any time Bear shows any sign of moving away from her emotionally (or physically).

After the wish, Nikki becomes a completely different person.

And Bear does not care or show any concern regarding this at all.

Everything that makes Nikki who she is, everything that makes Nikki, Nikki, is just gone after Bear uses the One Wish Willow.

And Bear couldn’t be happier.

We get a whole montage of Bear and “Nikki” as a “happy couple” hanging out together and ignoring everyone around them.

It’s not until Bear starts seeing actual consequences to his wish, such as “Nikki” causing a scene on their date or feeding his dead cat to him, that he begins to worry about her behavior.

And even then—EVEN THEN!!!!—Bear STILL adamantly refuses to accept that Nikki is not behaving rationally or how she used to in any way. While he eventually acquiesces to canceling his wish, he first tries to just “alter” it to make it so Nikki still loves him, but is just less intense.

He would rather use “Nikki” to satisfy his own desires and ego.

If Bear loved Nikki, hell, if he even just LIKED her for who she is, he would be horrified by “freaky” Nikki. He would have recognized and acknowledge extremely early on in their relationship, that something was deeply wrong. He would know that the woman he was with was not Nikki.

But Bear would rather have a bootleg version of Nikki that he can feel validated by, than have an actual relationship of any kind with the real Nikki.

He does not love Nikki. He does not even like her.

He likes the idea of Nikki. He likes the image of Nikki that he’s constructed of her, the image of her that only exists in his head.

He likes the fantasy of what Nikki would provide to him emotionally and physically.

From the beginning of the film, Obsession shows us exactly who its villain is. Nothing that “Freaky” Nikki does horrifies me as much as Bear’s treatment of Nikki and his refusal to see her as an actual person with autonomy.

For me that’s the most disturbing element of Obsession. That the people you trust the most and care about may be so obsessed with the version of you they’ve created in their mind that they’ll actively ignore your personhood and autonomy.

Bear doesn’t say a single thing about Nikki as a person in his speech. He doesn’t say that he loves her kindness and how she cares for others, he doesn’t talk about how he loves her creativity or care-free spirit, he doesn’t talk about what he likes about her.

He talks about nice things she’s done for him. He talks about what she means to him. He talks about her being there for him, and how he likes how she’s treated him.

And while I won’t pretend that those things aren’t important, they are the only things Bear mentions in his big vulnerable romantic speech.

Bear’s “confession” tells us literally nothing about Nikki other than that she’s been nice to Bear in the past.

But in a subtle way, his “love confession” tells us a LOT about Bear and his actual feelings for Nikki.

He likes that she’s been nice to him. That’s it.

He likes that she’s been nice to him, and whether it was an unconscious process or not, Bear has responded to Nikki’s being nice to him by becoming obsessed and infatuated with her.

To the point that, once he’s (albeit initially unwittingly) in a position of power over her, he completely disregards her personhood and begins to feel entitled to her and her body.