Going Out Of My Mind

As a hilarious side note, THIS apparently happened on a highway in china this morning, which SEEMS like a joke but is apparently real:

1. Ever Given is the ship; Evergreen is the company. Yes, that's confusing

2. Yes, it's the same Evergreen that owns the shipping container on the truck (but not the truck itself, I think.)

3. It is also the same Evergreen that has a ship, the Ever Laurel, that spilled thousands of rubber ducks into the ocean in 1992.

“Beating” mental illness is actually the norm, not the exception. Most people who have a major depressive episode never have another one. 80% of people who survive their first suicide attempt never make a second attempt. 93% of Borderline Personality Disorder patients achieve remission. Up to 74% of people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder achieve significant clinical improvement in their symptoms, and 20% achieve full remission. Half of Generalized Anxiety Disorder patients achieve remission after the acute phase of treatment. Even disorders with relatively low rates of remission - bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoid personality disorder - generally become milder and easier to manage as you age. Psychiatric symptoms tend to peak in your 20s and generally drop off as you get older, especially if you seek treatment. 

This is why the narratives we use to talk about mental illness matter so much. Right now, the dominant narrative is that mental illness is “an imbalance in the brain” and that it’s largely something that people are born with. There are upsides and downsides to this. The upside is that it promotes the idea that mental illness is not the ill person’s fault, and it helps us understand that mental illness can impact anyone, regardless of their life circumstances. The downside, however, is that it’s sort of given us this idea that mental illness is inborn and unchangeable. People have taken on the idea that “that’s just how my brain is”, when the reality is that, for most people, mental illness is less of a stable trait for them, and more of just a shitty thing that they are going through for a little while. The idea that mental illness is just “in your brain” also erases the very real connection between your life circumstances and your mental health - while it’s very true that a wealthy person in a happy marriage can become depressed, it’s also very true that living in poor conditions and being in an abusive marriage can be the cause of depression, and that improving your life circumstances can lessen or eliminate mental health conditions. 

If you have a mental health condition, it’s very important that you not resign yourself to the idea that you’re going to be like this forever. Chances are, you won’t. Even if you have a mental health condition that is associated with low rates of remission, it is possible to make leaps and bounds in your functioning, and to get to a point where managing your condition becomes second nature to you. Our understanding of mental illness is improving every year, and new therapies and treatments are becoming available all the time. If you seek treatment and do your best to manage your condition, you have every reason to believe that you will make huge improvements. 

“Two Lovers. You expect them to fly past you.”

(Paris France @MuseeLouvre photograph taken by Timothy Tolle, 2006)

Portishead, To Kill A Dead Man film stills, 1994

To Kill a Dead Man is a short film made in 1994 by the trip hop group Portishead. The film is a spy movie which revolves around an assassination and what happens afterwards.

The film is featured in the bonus section on the DVD version of Roseland NYC Live released in 2002. The theme can be found on both the 1995 compilation album Glory Times and the 1994 CD single “Sour Times”. The music video for “Sour Times” also uses footage from the film.

A still from the film is featured on the cover of their album Dummy and several other stills appear in the CD booklet. A miniature image of the poster for the film is visible in the upper left corner at the back of this album.